“She wanted nothing to do with me for a long time,” he smirks. “But I never gave up.”
I turn back to Mom and sigh. “After Greg, I was so closed off. It was just me and Amber against the world. I’m really sorry for closing you and Dad out. As you probably know, Greg was very controlling, and he made me believe I was just your pawn on stage.”
Mom furrows her brow and frowns.
“I know,” I say. “The truth is, I never felt like that, but he had me so twisted up that...”
She places her hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, honey.”
“It’s not, and I’m sorry. I want to reset everything. I want you to have a relationship with your granddaughters. I want us to visit each other all the time.”
“Me too,” Amber says. “And I promise, I’ll never ask you for money again. I’ve been clean since I moved away.”
Mom’s eyes are round. “You have? Oh, Amber.” She sniffles and throws her arms around her once again. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Me too, Mom.” She releases her. “And I have a steady job and good friends that are nothing like the ones I used to hang out with. No more unsavory characters.”
“Thank God,” she guffaws.
We spend the rest of the afternoon—and well into the evening—catching up on lost time, laughing like it was never lost in the first place. The girls discover her closet full of stage clothes and take turns parading around the house like they’ve found literal treasure, and Mom plays along, crowning them with the kind of ease I rememberfrom childhood.
And Jonah—because he can’t help being the bright soul that he is—wins her over in a heartbeat. When she learns of his musical abilities, she glows with quiet joy, as if she’s instantly claimed him as one of her own. Before long, we’re slipping into their home studio, playing The Band Wilde’s greatest hits—because of course Jonah has learned them all. Mom hands him every instrument she has to test him, and he indulges her with a smile.
But when he finally sits behind the drum set and lets it rip, she’s rendered speechless. He takes her classic bluegrass tune and turns it into something new and angsty and wild. Jonah is an incredible musician, but when he’s on the drums, he’s incandescent and unstoppable. He could give Travis Barker a run for his money.
Later, when the girls have dozed off on the couch in a tangle of small limbs and borrowed blankets, Mom pulls me into a quiet hug. It’s brief, a little awkward—two people relearning the shape of each other—but it’s honest. “You found yourself again,” she whispers, and her prideful words hit with the force of all the years we didn’t say the things we needed to say. She eases back from the hug, arching an eyebrow at Jonah. “And I would keep him if I were you.”
We set our plans for the next visit after school lets out. Outside, the cool night night air wraps around us as Jonah carries a drowsy seven-year-old and reaches for my hand, our fingers lacing together. “How are you feeling?”
I think about my daughters chattering their grandmother’s ears off. About the way Mom looked at Jonah, and the mistakes that brought us here. And somehow, instead of my pained truth—instead of the fear I’ve harbored for my parents—there’s a warm, steady fullness in my chest.
“I don’t know,” I say, laughing a little. “Lucky, maybe? Ridiculously lucky.”
Jonah presses a kiss to my head. “You deserve all of this,Renée. Every good thing.”
Maybe I do.
There’s some saying that life is a series of beginnings and ends. For a long period of my life, I felt like I had no way out—that all life could offer me was bitter and charred.
Nothing feels like that anymore.
I believe good things are on my horizon—and every chance I get for a new beginning, is a chance worth taking.
1. Landslide by The Chicks
Epilogue
Jonah
Ten Months Later
The sound of the shower turning on from the ensuite wakes me. The house is still dark, but there’s a hint of daylight starting to break its way through the curtains.
How’d she manage to get out of bed without waking me?
My morning wood begs for attention, so after a good stretch and a kiss to King’s fuzzy muzzle, I pad over to the bathroom and watch that beautiful woman—hair long and untamed from sleep—strip out of her pajamas. Eyelids closed, she putters around the familiar room, unaware of me. My heart dances knowing she’s this comfortable. This is now her home, after all. Renée, Delta, and Lo moved in six months ago, and my only complaint is wishing they would have sooner. But Renée wanted to be sure, and I wanted her to be sure.
I also wanted her to have the largest safety net possible. That’s why I bought her rental house, renovated everything, and put her name on the deed. Amber lives there still, though she’s over here more often than not. I keep telling her she should just move in with us, but she likes having her own space. It’s also nice when the girls spend the night at their aunt’s so Renée and I can be as loud as we want.
