Nicolai thins his lips and tilts his head. “You’re not wrong.”
What I’m about to do is placate them and pray to god they don’t see right through it. “Guys, I appreciate you offering me a job. I do. You’ve always had my back. But I’m working towards something different with my life. I need to leave the past in the past. I’ll reach out if I need help, okay?”
Take the bait, bro. I cannot afford to do this again with them. Not with my life. Part of me always kind of knew I’d run into them again, but a larger part of me had thought they’d be six feet under by now, too.
I don’t fucking care if I’ve known these guys since we were kids. I don’t care that we’ve been through shit together, and I certainly don’t owe them anything. But if pandering to our past is what it takes to get rid of them, I’ll play it.
“It’s your loss, man. You know that money is good.”
“I know. More for you then.”
Nicolai lights up his own cigarette and throws his chin toward Will. “Let’s go.”
They take a few steps away from me, and Will calls back, “You know where to find us, Marco.”
Once I see them turn the block corner, I step back inside the restaurant, but I don’t find Jay. I know he didn’t leave the front of the store, so I take a deep breath to calm my nerves.
Stepping up to the counter, I ask the old lady working behind it, “Did my friend leave out the back?”
“Yes. Out the back.”
Not that much time has passed. I could catch up to him, but I don’t want to run the risk of us being seen together. The less information those two fuckers know about my life, the better.
“Thank you,” I tell the nice woman. It’s early in the day for lunch, but I order some takeout anyway and thank her.
When I knock on the door at Jay’s, he opens it, scowling at me.
Jesus,that looks so fucking wrong on his face.
He leaves the door open and turns around, saying nothing.
Just tell him the truth, idiot.
I clear my throat and shut the door. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Are you embarrassed by me?” he blurts with a pinch between his eyebrows.
My eyes round as I set the takeout on the kitchen counter. “What? No. That’s not what that was.”
“Then tell me, because from where I stand, you saw some people you knew and threw me out of the way so they couldn’t see that we were together. You know what… come to think of it, I’ve never met any of your friends.”
“That’s because I don’t have any other friends. I’ve got you and Vinny… that’s pretty much it.”
“Then who were they?” he barks, throwing his hand out toward the door.
Sighing, I lean my hip against the counter. “They were my old friends. They’re a couple years older than me, but we grew up together. I cut them out when I joined the Army.” I look away from him and then down at my boots. I know I have to tell him. I know I trust him. “What I’m about to tell you, Jay… you have to promise me you won’t repeat.”
The hesitation he’s giving off is damn near palpable. But after a few seconds, he finally speaks. “Okay. I promise.”
“After I left high school, those guys and I used to work as a team—but part of a larger network—and we would steal cars up and down the coast. Most of the time, it was simple enough. Steal the empty car, drive it to where it needed to be, and leave. But sometimes things went wrong. People got in the way. Sometimes it was enough to just rough ’em up, ya know? But other times, towards the end—well, I had to get rid of people.” I look up to see his face focused on me, his lips parted slightly. “But I never killed anyone. I was still young, and our boss hadn’t asked me to do it yet. But I felt it coming.
“Then one night, when we were making a delivery to our Baltimore hub, we gave the keys to our guy, and when he opened the trunk, there were kilos and kilos of coke laying there. We had no idea. We were just told to take the car.
“It was then I knew I couldn’t be in this anymore. I didn’t want to be a fucking drug mule. I didn’t want to keep hurting people. I knew if I stayed any longer, it was only going to get worse. I was going to end up in prison or dead.
“The next day when I got home, I signed up for the Army. I had to get away and it was the safest way I could think of.”
Jay grabs the back of a dining chair and falls down into the seat, unable to take his eyes from me. He looks dazed when he says, “That explains that…”
