“Please let that go, Ethan, don’t be burdened anymore. I don’t think you have rejected me. Lord, son, you only have the values and ethics you do because I taught them to you!” Laughing, he stopped pacing and ran his hand through his hair before returning to his desk. “We’ve simply tried to reform the aristocracy in different ways. I am using my influence subtly within the system to change the minds of men and using my influence to redirect funds to more honorable causes. But that was never enough for you, and I know that. You, my boy, have a need to change the system itself, the very way in which things operate. Frankly, I admire you for it. And choosing a woman regardless of her background just makes you your own man.”
Ethan was embarrassing himself now as he fully teared up at his father’s words. He could see the way his work differed from his fathers in an entirely new light, separate ways of approaching the same problem. Not rejecting his father’s path but simply choosing another.
“Can you see a life with her, Ethan? Would she make you happy?” Ethan nodded, picturing them living on the estatetogether years in the future. Ethan would be working up reports while Alice toiled in the garden, red hair shining in the sun as she brought beauty to those around her.
“Go then, and live up to your own ideals. Go claim the woman you love and show the world that the only thing that should matter in a match is that the two people involved care for one another.”
“Thank you, Father.” Ethan rose and embraced him once again, and the two made their way out of the office.
“Now, I fully expect you to bring Miss Pembroke by to meet me and Margaret once her father is in the clear, do you hear me?”
“Yes, sir,” Ethan laughed. As he walked into the main room, Hugh Stanton, his father’s partner and his own godfather, appeared in the doorway of his office.
“Ethan, I thought that was you. I’d know that laugh anywhere,” he said, walking up to shake his hand.
“It’s good to see you, Uncle Hugh. Pardon me, but I need to run. I promise I’ll catch up with you soon.”
It suddenly seemed imperative that he see Alice as soon as possible and left her in no doubt of how he felt about her.
“What was all that about?” he heard as he stepped out of the office.
“Matters of the heart, Hugh. Matters of the heart.”
A few hours had passed since returning to her father’s bedside. Refreshed after even just a few hours of sleep, she was able to observe that her father did seem to be improving with rest. Able to attend more fully to what the doctor shared with her uncle,some of the fear which had gripped her heart eased with the doctor’s encouraging updates.
The change in circumstances also put her dilemma into harsh perspective. On the one hand, she wasn’t sure how she would ever be able to live without Ethan. The rush of love and gratitude she had felt when he appeared earlier that day; she simply didn’t have the words to explain what his showing up meant to her. But on the other hand, her selfish desire to satisfy her own wishes had quite literally almost killed her father. Alice could not be the reason she lost him—she couldn’t be all alone in this world.
She’d always been there for her father, to make sure he could be at ease after his injury and losing her mother. How could she cause him even more stress when his health was still in such a precarious state?
Alice looked toward the door when she heard a soft click, Priscilla and West slipping in.
“Father, Alice, why don’t you both take a break and eat something. West and I can sit with Uncle Edward for a bit while you rest.”
Alice began to shake her head, but her uncle overrode her. “She’s right Alice, we both need to stay strong if we are going to help him through his recovery.” He gestured towards his brother, still asleep in the bed, who seemed to rest much more comfortably than before.
Standing, Alice realized she was actually quite hungry. “I’ll get something to eat and then return. Thank you,” she told Priscilla, squeezing her hand on the way out. “Be sure you rest yourself,” she said, inclining her head toward the swell of her cousin’s babe that was just beginning to show beneath the layers of petticoats.
Upon stepping out of the room, she saw Ethan leaning against the opposite wall, waiting for her.
“I’m going to request a tray in my room and try to freshen up a bit. Why don’t you go and eat something with Mr. Beaumont?” her uncle said, Ethan offering his hand at the suggestion. It seemed that everyone in her family aside from her father was perfectly happy to throw Alice into Ethan’s path. She took his hand without a word and followed him down to the dining room.
The staff had laid out a buffet of food so they could help themselves to food throughout the day whenever time allowed. Ethan pulled out a chair for her, which she all but collapsed into, before picking up a plate.
“Thank you, Ethan. Truly,” she said as he placed a steaming plate of food in front of her. “I appreciate you being here, even if I can’t promise you anything.”
Ethan didn’t say anything for a bit, just watched her. She knew he’d protest if she didn’t at least make an effort to clear her plate, but she couldn’t complain, unable to recall the last time she’d eaten.
Their kitchen assistant came in to check on the food and cleared a few dishes before leaving with a bow. “It’s an efficient system they’ve set up here,” Ethan noted with admiration.
“Well, they’ve had a lot of practice over the years. But this time feels different.” To her utter dismay, Alice burst into tears, no longer able to hold back the emotion she had bottled up inside her since father first slumped down before her. Part release of pressure at the relief that it didn’t seem like this would be the end, part grief at knowing no matter what she chose to do, she would hurt someone she loved.
Ethan stood beside her, and she buried her face into his stomach, wetting his waistcoat while he patiently held her. When she calmed down, he handed her a handkerchief and sat down again, pulling his chair close and grabbing her hands.
“I went to see my own father this afternoon while you sat with yours,” he informed her. “I had some things I needed to sort through, and I always value his opinion.”
“And did it help?” Alice was curious what they had discussed, but more than that she wanted to know that Ethan was well.
“It did. It gave me clarity. He told me that I need to fight for you if I really loved you,” he paused as Alice caught her breath at his words and reached up to gather a tear that remained at the corner of her eye, “and I do really love you, Alice.”
