It seemed that father’s condition may not be as grave as first thought. He was likely to come out of this alive, but he was severely weakened by the episode, his heart needing to work much too hard in his agitation. Regardless, Alice felt a sense of déjà vu, like she was eight again and waiting to see if she would be left alone in the world—still a very real danger.
Exhausted, she fought to keep her eyes open as more voices approached, but Priscilla was soon kneeling before her, placing a cool hand on her cheek and wiping off the moisture Alice had left unattended, telling her to take a break.
“You’re here,” she said, intending for the statement to be a question.
“Yes. West sent for me. We came right away.”
Good, responsible West. Alice was glad she had told the butler to send for him along with her uncle. He had deftly taken care of everything, letting Priscilla’s father think it was all his own doing. It took Alice a moment to register what Priscilla had said through her sluggish thoughts.
“We?” she asked. Lifting her head, she saw him. “Ethan.”
Her bleary eyes focused in on him where he hovered by the doorway, gripping the edge of his hat and looking unsure ofhimself. She didn’t stop to think, just rose from her chair and ran to him.
He let out a puff when she crashed into his chest, then promptly wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She melted into him, soaking up his essence, too exhausted to stand. He was here.
After a moment, she felt a gentle hand on her back. “West and I will stay here with Uncle. Why don’t you let Ethan take you to your room so you can get some rest?”
Alice wanted to protest, to tell Priscilla that she couldn’t leave. But before she had a chance to, Alice was being led out of the room. Ethan gathered her in his arms and the world around her faded to black as her eyes closed, her head on his chest.
It took a long time for Alice to be pulled out of her deep, dreamless state. Disoriented, she turned her head and found herself nestled against a firm, warm chest. Ethan.
In an instant, everything came rushing back and she sat up abruptly, dislodging Ethan’s arm from around her. She had to get away. She couldn’t let herself fall back into him, not when it had been admitting her affection for him that had caused father’s attack.
But this might be their last moment together, and she did truly love him. And Ethan’s arms had felt so lovely. She’d been carrying so much for so long—could she not just take this one moment to let go and revel in him?
Looking up at Ethan, Alice met eyes that were full of concern. He lifted a hand and brushed the hair out of her eyes, not saying anything, waiting for her to decide what direction this would go.
“You came,” she said, unable to contain her happiness at seeing him.
“I did.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to rest against him. “I was concerned for you, and clearly I was right to be. You practically passed out from exhaustion when we arrived.”
“How long was I asleep?” She needed to check in on father, but softening into Ethan again, Alice didn’t know if she could move.
“A few hours. You were out cold—you obviously needed the sleep.” He was running his fingers through her hair, and she felt like she could drift off again with the soothing gesture.
“It’s been a long few days.” Alice ran her hand over his chest and turned her face into where his neck and shoulder met, her favorite spot.
“Alice . . .,” he said, hand stilled, “what happened?”
Wanting to block out the world, she buried her face even further into his warm skin, as if he could consume her and nothing else would matter.
“It’s alright, you don’t have to talk about it.” He’d resumed his gentle stroking, this time on her neck. She pulled back just enough so she could look at him but not lose his warmth, and before she could overthink, she leaned forward and kissed him.
Alice wanted to cry at how right it felt, at how much she had missed him. It was a gentle kiss, not all-consuming as it had been before. She could feel that he was being considerate of the tender emotional state she was in, but she didn’t want him to still be thinking, she wanted him to be as lost to thought as she desired to be. Alice angled herself so that she was straddling his lap, and suddenly his hands were everywhere, allowing her to breathe for the first time in two days—as if those hands were holding her together and she didn’t have to do it all by herself anymore.
The kiss went on and on, but Alice knew it had to end eventually. She’d have to find a way to go on without experiencing such an occurrence ever again. Finally, forcing himself to pull back from the kiss, Ethan leaned his forehead against Alice’s, breathing heavily.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said automatically, still catching her breath.
Ethan said nothing for a moment, giving her time to contemplate what she really wanted. Closing her eyes, a defeated expression crossed her face.
“No,” Alice said so softly he almost didn’t hear. “I do want to be with you, so badly. But things are so unsettled . . . and I?—”
“I know.” He tipped his head up and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “At heart, you’re a girl who wants to make her father happy, and the last thing I would ever want is for you to have any regrets when it comes to me.”
“But I do have regrets!” Alice cried. “I regret that I cannot be with you.” She leaned forward and placed her forehead back on his, needing to feel the connection. “But after what happened, I . . .”
