Priscilla blushed. “Yes, I did. And even though it has most likely added to my heartache, it was everything I wanted it to be. But it also confirmed my fear it can only be that wonderful withsomeone for whom feelings run deep.” She had to pause and suck in a breath, tears streaming down her face. “Now I don’t think I can ever experience that with another.”
“What is his reason for denying what clearly lies between you? It’s not as if you aren’t a good match for him.”
“In his eyes, I’m not,” Priscilla said, summarizing West’s tumultuous upbringing to Elise as she listened attentively. “And the thing is that I can understand and sympathize with his mindset, I just wish he would act in his own best interest. But he can’t let it go.”
“I don’t mean to seem insensitive, but you talk as if you already knew much of this,” Elise said. “What changed while you were there?”
“He lost an investment he was counting on, so I suggested marriage as a solution to his financial problems. He didn’t handle the idea well. I suppose knowing what I do of him I could have proposed it in a different way. I should have known looking at an attachment so dispassionately would put up his defenses.”
Priscilla explained more of the confrontation between them and how she had left things.
“I feel like such a fool, Elise,” Priscilla sobbed. “I knew I’d be hurt in the end, but I can’t bring myself to regret any of it. Being with him helped me understand myself and what I want in a way I never expected. It’s as if the world around me looks different now—everything is slightly altered.”
Elise stood and moved around the table, food now forgotten and the eggs long gone cold. When she reached Priscilla, she bent over and once again wrapped her in her arms. “I’m sorry he won’t see sense. And I don’t know what will happen moving forward, but I’m here for you.”
Priscilla composed herself and pulled away. “I know. It’s why I came to you last night. But now I need to face reality and go home. I just need to figure out how to move forward knowing I’llnever feel this way about anyone else.” It felt melodramatic to say, but Priscilla believed the truth in her words completely. She could feel them in her bones.
An hour later, full of tea and the buffering that comes from true friendship, Priscilla stepped out of Elise’s carriage to find a figure lingering in front of her house. A rumpled and road weary West stood on her doorstep, waiting for her.
CHAPTER 31
“West, what are you doing here?” Priscilla asked incredulously. He must have travelled through the night to be here, and he looked worn. “Come in,” she said, waving at him to follow her. As much as she didn’t have it in her emotionally to go another round with him, she still cared about him and didn’t relish his discomfort. It wouldn’t be too much to offer the man some sustenance and rest for a moment.
Priscilla called for the housekeeper as she opened the door. Ordering tea and sandwiches, she ushered West into her parlor and watched him slump into a chair. The second the door closed and her attention turned back to him, he began speaking, regret clearly on his face.
“I’m so, so sorry.” West’s voice broke slightly as he choked out his opening words, making Priscilla catch her breath.
“You were right. You were right about everything. I was letting my own stubborn pride get in the way of seeing what it was that I really wanted. Not what others wanted of me, but whatIwanted. And everything I’m trying to do . . . none of it means anything if I can’t share it with you.”
Overwhelmed by both the words and West’s earnest delivery, Priscilla collapsed in the nearest chair and let out a wet laugh,feeling her eyes well over as West said everything she’d ever wanted to hear from him.
“Oh, don’t cry,” he said, rushing forward and cupping her cheeks in his large, strong hands. He used his thumbs to collect the wetness from beneath her eyes, then lowered his forehead to her own. “I didn’t want to make you cry,” he whispered.
“I promise you they’re happy tears, not ones born of sadness. For you have made me very, very happy, West.” He pulled her into his arms, and she tucked her head into the crook of his neck. They stayed like that for a while, soaking in each other’s presence and strength until the housekeeper entered with refreshments.
“Sit, you look exhausted,” Priscilla said. “I’ll make up a plate for you while the tea steeps.” West gratefully slumped back into the chair he’d claimed and consumed the tea spread she handed him in a matter of minutes.
Priscilla watched as he ate, amazed that he’d come all this way to admit his feelings. But before she could fully allow herself to fall into the bliss of this moment, she needed to understand what had changed his mind when he’d been so adamant just days before.
“West, what are you doing here?” she asked as he sat back contentedly, stomach now full, his appetite sated. He looked surprised at her question.
“I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I missed you, and you were right that I was the only thing standing in the way of us being together.”
“Yes, but why do you want to be together? What changed your mind?” She had to fathom how his mindset had shifted before letting her heart fully trust what he was saying to her.
“It was never that I didn’t want to be with you, just that I didn’t think I could,” West admitted sheepishly. “But when you called me out on my foolishness, you made me realize that Iwasn’t being as independent of my father as I thought I was.” He paused for a moment, trying to find his next words. “Living to hurt someone who is dead and will never know of your defiance doesn’t serve much of a purpose.”
Priscilla was glad to hear a healthier perspective coming from West, but she still needed more. “But that’s not what you said in your study just a few days ago,” she persisted.
“I know, and I’m sorry for it. Your words hurt, but they were honest. I needed to hear them. But I also needed time to process and reconsider. It’s not easy to suddenly see all your motivations in a different light.”
Priscilla smiled at him sympathetically and reached for his hand. Needing time to filter through everything and find a different perspective was valid, and she was glad he had taken the time to do so intentionally.
“I spent a long, sleepless night going over what you said and reevaluating everything I’ve done recently. Then my dear sister also gave me some much needed perspective.”
“What did she say?” Priscilla asked breathlessly, anxious to hear what had finally pierced through his wall of defenses, allowing him to see beyond his pride.
“Well, after I explained our conversation and why you had left, she told me you were right.” West paused and gave her a warm smile. “I’ve always known you were smarter than I am. I promise to always listen to you from now on.”
