West stood silent and assessed her for a moment. While she couldn’t get a good read on his thoughts based on his blank expression, she suspected he wasn’t entirely pleased with her.
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” he finally said, voice flat.
“I know. And I’ve already made my peace with Lizzie. I shouldn’t have lashed out at her like that. She knows that was more about me being in an ill mood than anything to do with her.”
West let out a large sigh and hung his head. “I fear your ill mood was in no small part because of me. I’m sorry for letting myself get carried away earlier today. But it’s made one thing clear.” He paused and looked up at her, a small downturn of his lips displaying his unease.
“Priscilla, I think we need to end this farce. It’s not serving either of us anymore. Constantly being in proximity of one another has raised inconvenient feelings, and it would be imprudent to entertain them any further.”
Crushed, Priscilla nonetheless nodded in agreement. She knew he was right. They could not continue this charade and walk away without causing even more hurt than they were already experiencing. Much to her horror, she felt a tear slip down her cheek. Turning, she quickly wiped it away and took a deep breath before looking back at West.
“I agree. We’ve taken this as far as it can responsibly go. We will only end up hurting others who are growing expectations should we continue. Just look at your mother, she is still harboring hopes for us, even knowing the true nature of our relationship . . . She would not have invited me here otherwise.”
As much as she was trying to mask it, West must have seen through her act, knowing she was upset, as he reached out and took one of her hands. The gesture almost undid her resolve.
“So, what do we do now?” she whispered. “Should I leave in the morning?”
“No,” West said slowly, thinking through the best course of action. “I think that would cause too much fuss and raisetoo many questions. Most of my family still believes us to be together, and you know there would be gossip among thetonshould you return to town earlier than expected.”
He’d taken a step closer, and his tone was gentle. His presence was almost more than she could handle. After a very long and trying day, she just wanted to rest her head against his chest and forget all her troubles. Could she cross that line now that boundaries were clear between them again?
“I’m sorry I confused things this morning,” West murmured.
Suddenly, a forceful surge of exhaustion hit her. Closing her eyes, she let out a ragged sigh. “We’re both guilty of that,” she conceded wearily. “I think we both have some regrets. We never should have thought we could make this work—we were always tempting fate. Going through the motions of a relationship certainly makes it feel real, no matter what we’ve told ourselves.”
Priscilla felt his hand cup her cheek, and her eyes sprang open. West was even closer now, looking down at her in concern. For the first time since entering his room, she became conscious of the fact that he was only in breeches and shirtsleeves. She must have caught him as he was preparing for bed. The thought made her blush.
Priscilla could feel her breath becoming more rapid, her chest rising and falling as her desire rose and the tiredness faded to the background. Unable to tear her gaze away from his, she was teetering on the edge.
Priscilla knew with certainty what had been growing between them could not move forward into anything real. West had made a clear decision and cut off the relationship. Real or fake, nothing between them would continue beyond this moment. With that realization settling in, she could already feel her heart aching. So why was she still fighting her desire for him?
They had mutually decided not to pursue a physical affair due to the fear it would lead to emotional entanglement, butthey were long past that point. What they had valiantly tried to avoid happened anyway, so why were they still trying to deny the undeniable chemistry between them? What additional hurt could be caused by taking this final step together?
Though Priscilla knew it could hurt more in the end if she began a physical relationship with him, she was already experiencing that pain. And she now had the opportunity, literally standing right in front of her, to experience the kind of passion she had only dreamed about. What use was the pain if she could not also experience the pleasure?
Deciding to truly be bold, not just imagine that she was, she surged forward and connected her lips with his.
CHAPTER 25
West closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. He could think of a million reasons why this was a bad idea, but within a minute he had lost track of all of them, the voices silenced as he became submerged under the powerful wave of Priscilla’s presence.
Lord, but she felt wonderful in his arms. He wasn’t aware of when he’d wrapped them around her, but she was within them nonetheless. In only her night rail and wrapper, He could feel the curve of her back, and warmth emanated from her skin through the thin material.
He pulled back just enough to trail kisses down her neck, and she angled her head at his touch, allowing him freer access to the expanse of undiscovered skin there. She let out a contented sigh while leaning her head against his shoulder. It was such a sweet and trusting gesture that he felt its effect deep inside, like a gentle squeeze around his heart.
She smelled lovely, like warm skin with a hint of the orange blossom he’d smelled on her before. Nuzzling his nose into the hair behind her ear, the scent became stronger and he breathed her in.
“Did you just sniff me?” she asked incredulously, pulling back with a little laugh.
“Yes, you smell lovely. I want to remember the scent.”
Her smile dropped at the mention of their fleeting time together, and he remembered what dangerous waters they were treading in.
“What are we doing, Priscilla?” West asked, still holding her close. He didn’t want to ask because he didn’t want to stop, but he needed to understand what she was thinking and feeling.
“It seems that we’re finally giving into our desire for one another. I have no objections if you don’t,” she answered.
“I could never object to being with you” he assured her. “I’m just not sure it’s the smartest plan. We did just agree to end a relationship that was never really one to begin with. Taking this step may only complicate things further.” Unlike last time, West wanted Priscilla to be certain she was ready for this next step.
