Horrified, Priscilla abruptly stood up. “I’m so sorry, I’m overtired. Please forgive me, I’ll retire for the evening.” With that, she fled the room.
CHAPTER 23
“What on earth was that?” Ethan asked as he and West walked into the study.
“God, I have no idea,” West replied wearily as he slumped into the chair behind his desk and placed his head in his hands.
“You certainly chose a woman who knows how to create drama,” his cousin said with a whistle. “Not that Lizzie didn’t have it coming with her own comment, but I must say, the duchess’s response was rather biting.”
West was appalled to see the debutant with sharply cutting words reemerge from Priscilla this evening. However, he had a sneaking suspicion he was partly to blame. He’d not meant to let himself get carried away earlier that day, and knew he was confusing her and playing with her feelings, but he hadn’t been able to control himself.
West was usually a man who could wrangle his emotions and keep them in check. It was something he had been trained to do since a young boy, learning that lesson several times over from his own father that displays of emotion were unseemly. But something about being around Priscilla made him feel unnerved, and he couldn’t keep himself buttoned up the way he normally would.
As their relationship wasn’t real, he had nothing to be jealous of in the first place. But much to his shame, that rationalization couldn’t prevent him from spiraling into a mad man that morning. And she had been so alluring underneath the tree in the rain that he couldn’t resist kissing her, only furthering the hole he had been digging himself into when it came to the lovely widow.
It seemed that perhaps the time had come to end the charade, for both their sakes. It had served a purpose, but now things had become much too muddled. Continuing the ruse was complicating everything more than helping.
“I can see why you like her, though,” Ethan continued. “She’s lovely and easy to converse with. There is definitely passion between the two of you as well—I could see the sparks flying between you this morning, even if you were acting the grump.”
“Oh god, Ethan,” he said, pulling his hands away from his face. “It’s not real, and I need to remember that.”
“What do you mean?” his cousin asked, confusion clear on his face.
“I mean that Lady Priscilla and I are not a real couple. We’ve been pretending for the past month so she would not be hounded by fortune hunters and I wouldn’t have to worry about my mother trying to set me up with women.” Saying it all out loud again, West realized just how far they had moved from their original goal, the lines between fake and real undeniably blurred.
“Whew,” Ethan said, letting out another whistle. “You certainly had me fooled. The feelings between you seem so genuine.”
“I think they are, and that’s the problem. We both agreed from the beginning that things between us would end once the season concluded. And when it comes down to it, neither of us are ultimately what the other is looking for.”
“What do you mean? She seems perfect for you. She stands up to you and calls out the nonsense you spew at times. She is gracious and pleasant—tonight notwithstanding. And she is clearly intelligent, which would make her a great asset to the estate.” Ethan looked flabbergasted that West would think Priscilla not ideal.
“You know my father only cared about appearances and standing,” West said bitterly. Ethan nodded his head in agreement, studying West closely. “He would have loved her. She’s everything he ever wanted in a match for me. Priscilla is the daughter of a well know marquess, through marriage she became a duchess, and as a widow she has gained immense wealth. She is at the very top of society. I just can’t stomach the idea of being with someone that old bastard would have looked on as a superior match.”
Ethan looked at him in pity, a small frown on his face, but nodded his head in understanding. “I’m sorry your father’s shadow looms so large that you feel the need to live in defiance of him. I understand the impulse, believe me. I’d love nothing more than to stick it to theton.The idea that the aristocracy is better than others is preposterous. But, cousin, don’t let your bitterness and frustration keep you from something that could be wonderful.”
West didn’t want to hear what Ethan was saying. “It’s not just me,” he said defensively. “Priscilla told me from the beginning that her mother had suggested me as a desirable match being an available marquess of the right age. Having married to please her parents’ before and suffering for over a year at the sickbed of her elderly husband because of it, she’s also vowed not to marry again only to please her family.”
“I get it, I really do,” Ethan said, raising his hands as if to ward off West’s frustration. “But what about doing what will please yourself if you really like her?”
West sat and stared at Ethan for a minute before changing the subject, not willing to consider what he was suggesting.
“Anyway, this is not why I asked you to talk with me. I have a business proposition for you. How would you feel about becoming my estate manager?”
The idea came to him that morning as they’d been touring the property. Ethan’s knowledge of agriculture, land cultivation, and animal husbandry was evident, and he lit up when speaking on the subjects. West could think of no one he would trust more to improve conditions and yields for his tenants than his own family, a cousin he had enjoyed running around with when they were both young boys before the rift between their parents split the family apart.
Ethan was staring at him in shock. “I’m not qualified for such a thing, I’m trained as a lawyer, not a land manager.”
“Nonsense,” West replied. “You are clearly well-read on the subject and know what you are talking about.”
“Yes, but knowing about something is quite different from actual practice and execution,” Ethan said uneasily.
“I know this is asking a lot. You’d have to leave your father’s practiceandyour current profession, which you spent several years training for. Are you worried Uncle John won’t like the idea?”
Ethan looked a bit uncomfortable. “No, my father would support me if I wanted to make a change. I always thought I’d enjoy being a lawyer,” he said, eyes unfocused. “I loved going to the office with him when I was young. What he did seemed so important, and I wanted to be just like him. But the reality of it isn’t nearly as exciting as I imagined it would be. I feel stuck behind a desk and need to be in the city most of the year, when being in the country with our horses is what I enjoy the most.”
“Take some time to think it over,” West said. “I think you’re the right man for the job, but I don’t want you to feel anypressure or obligation. But I can see how happy you are here, and I want you to have a life that fulfills you.” Ethan swallowed hard, on the verge of tears. “And, frankly,” West added, trying to lighten the mood, “it would also serve my own purposes as my estate is in sad shape indeed,” he finished with a big grin.
“Thank you for the offer, I will think about it. When do you want to start work on the farms and the trade school?” Ethan asked.
