But the invitation had not come from West. That did not necessarily mean he didn’t wish her to come. It made sense that the invitation had come from the marchioness, being the woman of the household. She could hardly expect to get a handwritten note from West himself, but she still wished she knew who had initiated the idea of her company.
The world believed her to be engaged in a courtship with Hampton, so attending would not be unseemly. But would it be wise? After her encounter with West in his study before his departure, she was all too aware of her growing feelings, and entertaining them any further would only lead to heartache.
When she’d first met him, Priscilla wanted to be free from society’s expectations and to discover herself. But in getting to know herself over the past few weeks she’d come to realize that more than anything, rather than to simply rebel against what everyone expected of her, she wanted to let go of those voices all together so she could discern what madeherhappy. Not someone else’s idea of what would make her happy, and not even her own preconceived notions, but rather what truly made her feel incandescent.
Living independently had certainly made her reexamine all the practices and ideas about running a home that she had learned from her mother, and reflecting on her marriage to the duke after discussing it with West helped her see how much she’d learned about humility. She had no desire to make a splash anymore or to be the most fashionable and admired person in the room. If her peers looked down their noses at her for no longer partaking in gossip or the latest trends, she was truly fine with that. And yes, while she had been eager just a month ago to engage in an affair, it had been part of the quest to learn about herself and discover what real passion could feel like. It had never been about attention or being scandalous.
Spending time with West had helped her discover that she could experience real passion, even if their experience had fallen short of a full physical encounter. But more than anything, it had shown her that she wished for real love above all else.
Initially, it had made sense for her to reject West as a possible partner because she was unwilling to settle for a marriage based on social standing. While he was not the best prospectfinancially, his family was generally looked upon highly, many simply ignoring the more troubling aspects of the family history due to the high rank of the Hampton title.
Some still turned their noses up at the fact that the title had been so recently bestowed on the Beaumont line, but she had not known of the ties to slavery which had provided the funds to purchase the title in the first place. It seems thetonhad forgiven that part of the situation based on the previous marquess making sure to never misstep, superseding the more unpleasant connotations. Priscilla had a vague memory of West’s father scraping and bowing to all those around him even though he outranked all but a few dukes who sat on top of the aristocracy.
Her own mother was apparently among those willing to overlook the sins of the forefathers as she had so enthusiastically latched onto the idea of a match between Priscilla and West. That had been enough for her to reject him as a prospect, but now that she knew the man behind the title, she could not dismiss him so easily.
Yes, if there was anything Priscilla had learned since the season began it was that she desired a true love match. What worried her now was she suspected that was something she could have with her partner in deception if he would ever be willing to loosen his stance against marrying to his father’s standards.
More than perhaps anyone else he could have partnered with, Priscilla understood West’s dedication to becoming his own man and shaking off the expectations he had been shackled with his entire life. But that determination was what could lead to her heartbreak if she continued to explore her attraction, discovering if he could be the love she was seeking.
She would be a fool to accept the invitation to Hampton House and throw herself into a situation where her feelings would continue growing to no avail. But there had been a fewmoments where she glimpsed true affection and thought he might return her feelings. Fool that she was, the heartache was worth the risk if she could pierce through the armor he was using to protect himself and show him what they could be together.
Yes, for now, that small bit of hope that in the end she could gain everything she truly wanted was enough.
Determined, Priscilla penned a quick response to the invitation and called for Emma to begin packing for the country.
West breathed in the clear country air and felt his shoulders begin to relax. Heading to the stables, he was looking forward to a long ride, hoping to further slacken his muscles after being bent over books about the Hampton properties all morning.
His time away from London had been productive, allowing him to learn about developments on the estate, look for the right trade school location, and review promising applications for the position which Stoddard had forwarded from the employment agency. There were a few who looked to be exceptional, so his spirits were lifting in regard to at least this part of his business endeavors. However, he was still impatiently awaiting news of theTrade Wind’s safe return to London. With each passing day of silence, he became more anxious.
Just as West was about to reach the stables, he heard his name called out. Turning, he was stunned to see Priscilla walking toward him. “Cilla! What are you doing here?”
A bright smile broke across her face as she caught up to him. “Cilla, I like that,” she said.
Had he called her Cilla? He could hear the echo of it in his mind and must have used the shortened name withoutconscious thought. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so informal. I’m not quite sure why I called you that.”
“I really don’t mind,” she said. “In fact, it’s not the first time you’ve called me Cilla.”
“It’s not?” West was entirely confused, and wracked his brain trying to think of when he would have uttered it. He looked to Priscilla for clarification and saw her blushing.
“You may not remember. We were rather . . . caught up in the moment.”
Ah. It must have escaped his lips during one of their more heated encounters. He gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I don’t recall the instance. But it does seem like a natural name for you.”
She blushed more deeply and lowered her head, biting her lower lip as he’d seen her do before. It was a very becoming pose and appealed to West entirely too much. Shaking his head to refocus on the pressing matter at hand, he decided it was time for some answers.
“Well, now that we’ve settled that, what on earth are you doing here?”
Priscilla’s eyes grew wide at his question. “You didn’t know I was coming?”
“No, I was not aware you would be joining us. Not that it isn’t lovely to see you, of course.”
“I’m so sorry, West,” she said, shaking her head. “I received an invitation from your mother a few days ago asking me to come for the celebration of your brother’s birthday. When your name wasn’t on it, I did question if the invite was from her rather than you, but I never imagined she wouldn’t inform you I’d be coming once I sent my reply.”
Now West was the one shaking his head in return. “You say you received the invitation only three days ago?” When she nodded in the affirmative, he sighed in exasperation. “It seems my mother is trying to play matchmaker,” he said apologetically.
“I don’t follow. Why would she be trying to get us together when she already believes us to be courting?” Priscilla wrinkled her brow in her confusion, and a few adorable lines appeared just above her nose.
“Oh,” West groaned into his hands, bringing them up to scrub his face. “Because she knows it’s not real. I told her before we left town.”
