CHAPTER1
Cliff House, Dorset, England—September 1820
It’s unsettling to feel overwhelming happiness for one’s friends while also being unbearably envious.
Angeline took in a deep breath of the salty air to settle herself, observing the friends and family that surrounded her. She had arrived at Cliff House that morning with her brother, Fitz, and his wife, Moira. Staying for a week on the estate of their friend Reid, the Earl of Weston, everyone was there to celebrate his marriage to Angeline’s friend Elise. The residence sat perched atop a bluff on the Dorset Coast, providing and unmatched vista from the balcony where her friends had gathered. She was enjoying the view, even as she felt somewhat detached from the proceedings around her. Moving back from the others, she crept toward the railing.
Angeline knew this week of festivities would prove difficult, as such occasions often were since unexpectedly losing her husband, Phillip, two years ago. But she had come anyway, wanting to celebrate her friends. What she had not anticipated was the unsettled feeling, as if her equilibrium was off center, when noticing that her friend Grace, Duchess of Carrington, was expecting her first child.
Grace had not officially shared the news with Angeline, but the small bump she carried from the child growing within her was unmistakable. Walking around Cliff House, even the well-draped material of her skirt could not hide her newly prominent form as it shifted with every movement. Seeing Grace’s glow and realizing her friend was about to become a mother sent a stab of pain through Angeline’s heart, knowing motherhood remained forever out of her reach.
Regardless, Angeline was looking forward to the week and spending time with her friends. While she joined a few of the events last Season, tentatively stepping back into polite society after her period of mourning, this week would be different. Shefeltdifferent now, like a new version of herself after her life was irrevocably altered two summers ago, and being in society was no longer as enjoyable as she had found it previously. But here, now, spending a few days with only those she felt she could be the new version of herself around, she hoped she might figure out how to be around others again within this new reality.
“Angie, is that you?”
Startling at the familiar voice, Angeline turned from her place at the edge of the balcony, already knowing who she would see, as she would recognize his voice anywhere.
Sidney.
Despite her melancholy, Angeline couldn’t help the small smile that formed upon seeing him. Though not a sunny day, he still appeared illuminated with the fiery strands of his strawberry-blond hair shining in the cool autumn light. As he approached, her eyes traced a path up the many freckles across his cheek until reaching his brilliant blue eyes. They shone as he looked at her, a smile breaking across his face, fitting his name, Mr. Sidney Bright.
Sidling up to her, Sidney reached over and placed his hand over hers where it rested on the balcony railing. Even through her glove, his touch sent a shock up her arm and she had to fight the impulse to pull her hand away.
Angeline was startled by her strong reaction. She had not responded to anyone’s touch in that manner since Phillip, and she certainly hadn’t expected to feel anything like that again. Maybe it should not be shocking that it was Sidney to illicit such reactions from her once more, as he had been the object of her childhood infatuation. Still, she had not thought of Sidney as more than a friend since falling so deeply in love with Phillip ten years prior. A very dear friend, yes, but nothing more. Perhaps she was just more sensitive in her current emotional state.
“It’s good to see you, Sidney,” Angeline said after a few quiet moments watching the tide come in. “You’ve been so busy with your Parliamentary work that you hardly attended any events last season.” He turned and looked at her as she spoke, and she felt a blush start to creep up from his regard while confessing that she had missed him. The reaction seemed completely out of place since Angeline had known Sidney her entire life, his family’s estate bordering that of her own family. She hadn’t blushed in his presence since fancying herself to be in love with him as a new debutant, so she had no idea why his gaze made her feel warm now in the chilled air.
“There was much work to be done with the election and the passing of the King, and you know I am trying to make my place within Commons.” He seemed almost bashful speaking of his role as the elected member of Parliament for their part of Kent, a position he’d only held for a few years, and in which he was trying desperately to be taken seriously.
“I’m proud of you,” she said sincerely. “I know you struggled for a while to find your place, but you are working to make a difference, and that matters.”
“Thank you,” Sidney replied quietly, head downcast, almost bashful in light of her praise. “But now the session is over, and I plan to spend some time back at Ravenswood with my brother.” Sidney brightened while speaking of his family’s estate. “It’s been too long since I had quality time with my niece, and I miss the old place.”
“We shall be neighbors then,” Angeline informed him. “I’ve just moved in with my brother at Geffen House.” She had mixed feelings about returning to her childhood home and relying on the hospitality of her brother. While she knew she was loved and welcomed by Fitz and Moira, not seen merely as a responsibility, it felt like a step backward. After living with Phillip for so many years and being mistress of his estate, it was somewhat humbling to move back into another’s household. She was happy to be closer to her family and spend time in her role as aunt, spoiling the children, but she would not feel as independent. Now, knowing Sidney would be nearby, she felt lighter at the prospect of returning to Kent. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a hard transition after all if she knew she would have a friend nearby.
“You have decided to leave the estate in Hampshire?” Sidney asked, his brow furrowing with uncertainty.
“It’s time,” she sighed. “Phillip’s family has been so kind in letting me stay this long.”
“It’s your home.”
“Yes, but with Phillip gone, I have no claim to it. His cousin, Patrick, is now the viscount and will come into his majority soon. He and his parents will be moving in as he takes over managing the estate, and the last thing they need is for me to be hanging around and haunting the place.”
Angeline knew she would be allowed to stay if she wished to continue living in her husband’s home. Phillip’s family had embraced her from the start and wanted her to stay connected with them after his unexpected loss. But with Patrick nearly old enough to take on the full responsibilities of the title, she would feel out of place if she remained. Not having produced an heir, she had no claim to be able to stay, and relying on the goodwill of Phillip’s cousin did not sit well with her, even though she knew they still considered her part of the family.
“I am happy to come back to Kent and spend more time with my brother, and I am glad you will be nearby.” Sidney gave her such a bright smile that it was almost blinding.
“And I am happy I’ll get to see more of you. What do you say, shall we join the others?” he asked as dinner was announced. Extending his hand, Angeline felt a small thrill as she placed her hand in his. Smiling up at him, she followed him back into the house for dinner and realized she felt better for his presence.
CHAPTER2
Sidney was reluctant to let Angeline go once they entered the dining room, but he had no claim on her and did not wish any hint of impropriety. At least that was what he told himself as he released her hand. Really, he did not want to give himself ideas that their friendship was anything more than it was, no matter how much he might hope that it could be.
He watched Angeline walk toward her sister-in-law, Moira, Countess of Geffen, and although she was smiling as she rejoined her family and friends, he still sensed an air of sadness around her. It was what had prompted him to approach her earlier, seeing her separate herself as if she still felt uneasy around others who were so happy. Sidney wanted the ability to banish that sorrow and see the carefree, inquisitive young woman he fell in love with all those years ago again, but he didn’t know how to bring her out of her grief.
For most of his life, Sidney had seen Angeline as Fitz’s pesky younger sister. With only two years separating them, he and Fitz had been great friends while growing up along the Kent coast and marshes. Sidney had looked up to the older Fitz and followed him with an almost hero’s worship as they ran around together on the land that joined their family’s estates. At six years younger than himself, Angie had seemed like a nuisance when they were teenagers. Fitz, being a good brother who could deny his little sister almost nothing, allowed her to tag along and she thrived on their adventures.
While Sidney could admit that she was cute and admired her ability to keep up with them, her constant presence had irritated him. She stole Fitz’s attention and prevented them from pursuing more daring escapades Sidney lived for when she accompanied them. Idolizing his older friend, Sidney wanted to hold the attention of the boy he looked up to, and Angie only got in the way.
