“She has nowhere else to go.” Elise recognized the register of Weston’s voice.
“Why can she not go back to the dower house?” the woman inquired, sounding impatient.
“She cannot stay there on her own, mother,” Weston replied. He was talking with the lady of the house, it seemed. Elise had only met her once, as the countess considered her inferior. Unable to overlook her ruined status, she had avoided interaction with Elise over the past years. “I’ve invited her to stay here until new help is acquired.”
“That is simply not an option,” the countess stated. “We have houseguests arriving in two days, and she should not be permitted to mingle with polite society—it’s not proper.”
“Mother,” Weston barked, no longer trying to keep quiet, “I don’t care about goddamned propriety!” Elise imagined he was growing exasperated by the conversation, but she was still surprised by the force of his response. The hall went quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry. I should not have spoken to you like that. It’s just . . . there have been so many people over the years that I haven’t been able to help.” He paused, his voice sounding strained. “But Icanhelp her—and I plan to.”
“Fine,” the countess bit out sharply, clipping off the word. “But you need to make it clear that she is not to participate in the gathering. She is just a guest who happens to be here at the same time.”
“I’ll speak to her in the morning when everyone is less emotional,” he replied. “I highly doubt she will wish to participate in any of the activities you have planned, as she is deeply mourning, but I will not deliberately exclude her.”
Elise heard footsteps moving away as the conversation came to an end. She took a deep breath and settled back into the pillows. The last thing she needed right now was more tension, and she certainly did not plan to mix with thetononce again.
CHAPTER9
Reid’s heart raced as he jerked awake from the vivid images of his dream. It felt as if he was right back at the center of the battle of Waterloo, one of the most horrific days of his life. It was not hard to imagine what had prompted the dream to return on this particular night. Images of the injured and broken bodies of the sweet couple, now laid out in the village church, were strong echoes of the many decimated bodies he had seen in his years of battle. Breathing deeply, he felt his pulse slowing, but his chest still ached when he thought about Jed and Nora. In the moment Lady Elise had fully realized they were truly gone, crumpling before him, his heart had nearly ripped in two. Her grief had been so palpable it hurt him as much as the loss itself. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he sighed realizing he was not going to fall back asleep anytime soon. Throwing back the bedcovers, he pulled on his banyan before padding down the hall towards the kitchen to find a snack.
Having procured some biscuits and made tea, a lesson he held onto from his military days, Reid made his way towards the library to enjoy his early morning snack with a book. Setting the tray of goodies down, he made his way over to the fire. Stirring it back to life, he about jumped out of his skin when a voice came from behind him.
“I’m so sorry, my lord, I didn’t mean to intrude on your space.”
Turning, he found Lady Elise sitting near the window with a book in her lap. Reid drank in her appearance and noticed that while she certainly looked drawn from many hours of crying, she also possessed an underlying strength that came through her posture and the unwavering way she looked at him. The sight eased his mind, as he knew that while her grief would be deep, she would make it out and be able to push forward with her life. He had watched enough men’s spirits be broken by the war to know the difference.
“I apologize for interrupting,” Reid said. “I did not see you there.”
“No, I fear I’m the one encroaching. This is your home—I’ll leave you to it,” she said, rising from her seat.
“Please, you don’t need to leave,” he called after her. “Would you like to join me for some tea?” Turning around, Lady Elise examined him with critical eyes for a time, undoubtably trying to read his mood, then nodded. Sitting down by the fire, she clutched the book in her lap and as if it could offer her protection, then closed her eyes before speaking, as if their weight was too much.
“I didn’t mean to wander after hours, my lord” she finally said. “I just couldn’t get back to sleep. My mind wouldn’t stop replaying the images from this afternoon, and I hoped a book might help distract me.” A pained look crossed her face before she shook her head slightly as if to clear images which only she could see.
“Did it work?” Reid asked softly. If so, he would like to learn her trick for himself.
“No. I couldn’t focus on the words. The story didn’t grab me enough to focus my attention and divert my thoughts. Perhaps a more engrossing story would allow me to disappear for a while.” Reid knew the experience she was speaking of, being able to forget oneself and become absorbed by a story—living as someone else for a time. It was a helpful tool on days such as this, but all too often, hard to achieve. It was why he so frequently lost himself in his work as it was the only area that could fully engage his mind and take him away from dealing with himself.
“Please tell your mother she does not need to worry about me,” Lady Elise said after a moment. When he looked at her quizzically, she sheepishly said, “I overheard you talking with her earlier this evening. She was concerned about my presence and mingling with guests you are expecting soon. I promise I will stay out of the way, as I have no desire to mix with theton—especially now,” she added quietly.
“I’m sorry you heard that. I’m afraid my mother is rather old fashioned. She does not look favorably upon you being here. But I assure you, you can stay as long as you need. I refuse to be a slave to polite society’s morals rather than my own conscience.” Reid felt bad that she had overheard his mother speaking of her in negative terms. The last thing he wanted was to add to the discomfort she must be feeling given the altering events of the day.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed, my lord. I’ve heard much worse over the past few years, and I assure you I’ve long since stopped caring what the aristocracy thinks of me. I have no wish to mix in that world again, and I will make myself scarce while you have company.” Lady Elise fiddled with her book, and it was clear by the way she opened and then closed her mouth again that she wanted to ask him something. Finally, she took in a breath and looking at him, she then said, “Please don’t think me impertinent for asking, but isn’t it unusual to be hosting guests when so fresh into a period of mourning?”
Reid groaned and shaded his face with a hand as he sat back in his chair. If Lady Elise were concerned about such impropriety, then surely others would be as well.
“It was my mother’s idea. I have no desire to host anyone at present—or ever, really. But she is insisting I find a wife sooner rather than later now that I am the earl. She believes that we will be able to pass the house party off as a remembrance for my father, as only friends of the family have been invited. If it were up to me, I would use the rules to fend off any guests for the foreseeable future, though I could not care less about mourning my father.” Reid leaned forward with a sigh, bracing his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands under his chin, he looked at Lady Elise intently. “There is way too much to deal with already between the rising political unrest in the country and maintaining the estate. The last thing I need is to feign politeness to a houseful of guests and interest in any women at my mother’s request.”
At the last part of his grumbling, Lady Elise looked a little uncomfortable. “I really am sorry to impose, I can return to the dower house tomorrow. I do thank you for taking care of me today,” she said in a small voice. “I don’t want you to have to worry about me.”
Feeling like an utter ass, Reid realized too late that she had understood his frustrations regarding guests to include her as well. “I’m sorry,” he blurted. “I did not mean you—your company is not a burden. Please forgive me for running my mouth, I’m just stressed by so many changes happening so quickly.”
Panic rushed through Reid at the thought that she might leave, and he could feel his pulse thrumming. More than anything, he wanted her to stay. Knowing she was close would be the only thing keeping him sane over the next week. He delighted in her presence and felt calmer whenever he was with her. He had never felt this way about a woman before and it was confusing. “My frustration lies with the overall situation, not with you,” he added in a final plea.
Reaching over, Lady Elise placed her hand over his where it was clenched in tension on his leg, and a spark raced up his arm from the contact. “I understand,” she said quietly. “I still think it might make things easier for everyone if I return home tomorrow.”
“You cannot stay there by yourself,” Reid reiterated. “The place would be impossible to manage with just one person,” he argued, desperate for her to agree to stay with him. “I also worry about the safety of a woman living alone.” Seeing her bristle at his assertion, he hastened to add, “I know you are more than capable of taking care of yourself, but this world is not kind to single women.”
“Unfortunately, I know that to be true,” she agreed. By the way she spoke, he had a sense that she was speaking from personal experience and not just broadly. The thought of her suffering due to the position she was in, removed from the protections of polite society and her family, made his blood boil. Lady Elise must have sensed his anger, looking at him with a wan smile in assurance. “I’ll agree to stay here for the time being. I admit that I feel too weary to make many decisions or fend for myself at the moment. I appreciate your hospitality.”
