“I’m so glad to hear that,” Pelham said, eyes glassy. “She writes to me from time to time and says things are going well, but I’m never sure if it’s true or if she’s telling me that just so I won’t worry. It’s so good to hear you confirm things.”
Reid realized that the earl was a man who truly loved his daughter. Making a split-second decision, he decided to take a risk. “Lord Pelham, do you have a moment to talk? Is there somewhere a bit more private we may go? Please forgive me, I’m still learning my way around the rooms in Lords.”
Pelham quickly gathered his things and showed Reid to his office, ordering tea from one of the attendants along the way. Once the men were settled, Reid decided being direct may be the best approach.
“My lord, the truth of the matter is that over the past few months since I inherited and returned to my estate, I’ve fallen in love with your daughter.” Reid saw the man’s eyes well up and kindly looked away as he pulled out a handkerchief.
“Please forgive me,” Pelham said after a moment. “All I’ve ever wanted is for my girls to be happy, and I fear I’ve not done a good job of supporting Elise. I’m overwhelmed to think that she could still marry and have a family.”
“I would like that very much,” Reid told the older man. “Elise is the most remarkable woman I know, and I admire her strength and kind heart. I want nothing more than to make her my wife, but she is concerned about returning to society. I’m hoping you might be able to help me with that.”
“Anything,” Pelham said. “Anything I can do to help, I will. I know at the time I didn’t stand by her as I could have. I should have spoken up for her more as there were family friends who still supported her. But it all became too much for her after a while and she asked me for my blessing to leave. I’m afraid I put her sister before her when I agreed it may be best for her to go—we were both worried that Elise’s reputation might hurt Marianne’s down the line. Elise wanted to make sure her sister could still make a good match as she no longer believed she could. Instead of fighting to find a way for her to stay, I let her go.”
Pelham was openly crying, and Reid wasn’t sure what he should do, but then he began to speak again.
“I did what I could for Elise, giving her the money that was intended for her dowry so she would have funds to set up somewhere, but I’ve missed her every day since and wonder if I did the right thing.”
“From what she’s told me, I think she needed the space at the time,” Reid tried to reassure him. “I know she misses you and her sister, but she has a full life outside the scrutiny of theton.She’s told me many times that being ruined was a blessing in a way. It took away the burden and stress of always having to be on guard and do everything perfectly to remain in good standing with polite society.”
“Yes, the standards we expect young ladies to maintain are practically setting them up for failure,” Pelham agreed. “I’ve seen the strain Marianne has been under since she came out last season. Thankfully, she has found a match and the engagement will be announced over the holidays.”
“That’s wonderful,” Reid said. “In a way, that makes what I’m trying to do easier, as Elise will no longer have to worry about the potential impact on her sister if she were to start joining me at social events.”
“Yes, I have been wondering if Elise might be able to come home with her sister’s future secure,” Pelham said.
“I think that may be possible,” Reid said with a smile. Over the next half an hour and tea, he explained to the man he hoped might become his father-in-law what was being done to change Elise’s image. “If you will stand behind her and give her your full support as well, I think we have a chance.”
CHAPTER29
My Sweet Elise,
How your words set me on fire. I would burn with them if it would only bring me closer to you. Kissing you is the true joy of my life, and without those lips near, the landscape around me feels bleak.
Until I can see you again,
Your Reid
A week before Christmas, Elise was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from her father, along with an invitation to visit over the new year so she could meet her sister’s betrothed. Elise loved her father beyond measure, but the guilt she felt for what had occurred and the possible repercussions for her family had kept her distant, and she imagined it was much the same for his part as to why they did not communicate more frequently. She knew he felt like he had let her down in terms of support and understood that it had been hard for him to agree to let her go.
Realizing this would be the first time in three years that she would see him and Marianne, Elise longed for home more than ever. Sitting down at her desk, she promptly wrote her response accepting the invitation. The thought of being in London again made her feel ill at ease, but surely her family would not be planning to socialize widely, and she would only need to interact with a small, close group.
The mail also brought another letter from Reid that day. Though Elise knew he was incredibly busy working to find his place within the House of Lords, he had written to her faithfully in the month he’d been away. She had received a few letters each week, and while she treasured them and his words, she missed seeing him in person terribly.
Elise did not regret for a moment her decision to fully share herself with Reid, but it made it more difficult to be separated now. It still felt impossible to consider life as his wife while being an outcast in theton,but every day it was harder to conceive of living the rest of her life without him in it.
She didn’t know when she had begun to fall in love with him, he had just become a permanent and solid presence in her life. From their very first meeting when Reid fell into the blackberry bushes, he defied all her expectations. He was compassionate toward the people and the land, and the fact that she could unapologetically be herself around him was refreshing. Though their experiences had been different, they fundamentally understood one another. Both in the ways in which they had been broken, and how those experiences had shaped who each now was.
If it were possible for them to live a quiet and isolated life, Elise thought—if he did not have the duty of his earldom . . . but he did. She would no longer let being ruined stand as the defining moment of her life, especially not if it prevented her from being with the man she loved. Elise was more determined than ever to take steps to repair her reputation and live for herself—with Reid at her side.
Elise knew Reid would marry her tomorrow and not care a whit if anyone else had a problem with it, but what kind of marriage would that really be? Change was needed before they could move forward as a couple publicly, and she needed a plan. The time for being stronger than ever before was at hand, but the prospect of what lay ahead was daunting.
Slumping over her desk in frustration, Elise’s mind kept going round and round in endless circles, and no clear plans for how to become acceptable again emerged, a solution remaining elusive. She was driving herself crazy, and knew that sooner rather than later, for her sake as well as Reid’s, she would need to make a decision on how to proceed so they could begin their life together.
* * *
My Darling,
You will never believe what has happened. It seems my sister, Marianne, is about to be engaged, and my father has extended an invitation to visit over the new year. I can only hope that I might be able to see you while I’m in London. There is nothing I want so much as to feel your arms around me once again.
