About fifteen minutes later, Moira joined Grace in the chairs out on the large stone balcony overlooking the estate’s back garden.
“It really is beautiful here,” Grace murmured, enamored by the view. She had been transfixed by watching hummingbirds and insects go about their work, flitting from one floret to the next, collecting the nectar that awaited them in the plants along the balcony. Enjoying the warmth that crept up the stone steps beside her as the sun rose for the day, she closed her eyes and tipped her head back, seeking peace before possibly ruining the morning with what she needed to share.
“Yes, summer in Kent really is one of the most extraordinary experiences,” Moira said as she settled in beside Grace. “I love returning to Geffen House once the season is over, it is such a peaceful change to the bustle of London. While I do love all the entertainments of the city, after a while, I crave a slower pace. There is nothing more wonderful than to be wrapped up in the clean country air and to enjoy time with my children.” She had a dreamy look about her as she gazed over the green landscape in the direction of the marsh and the sea beyond it, barely visible in the distance.
Shaking her head to pull her back to the present, Moira’s demeanor abruptly turned serious as she straightened her posture and turned to look at Grace. “Now, do talk to me. What has you so concerned? I know we have not seen each other in over seven years, since your father passed, but you know you will always be one of my truest friends. You can tell me anything.” She was so sincere that it made Grace feel even more guilt for taking advantage of her hospitality.
“I’m sorry I was so distant,” Grace said. “I did not want to lose touch with you for so many years. Keeping in contact became . . . difficult . . . after my marriage.” Seeing nothing but love in Moira’s expression, Grace built up the courage to continue. “I’m afraid I’m here under less-than-ideal circumstances, and I am hoping our past friendship will make you more amenable to forgive me for coming here under false pretenses,” Grace admitted. “I do not wish to take advantage of your hospitality, and I won’t stay if I do not have your blessing.”
Moira, now looking even more concerned, leaned over and took Grace’s hand. “When you say you are here under difficult circumstances, what do you mean? Are you in trouble?” she asked gently.
Grace looked down at the napkin in her lap as it was too difficult to look into Moira’s kind eyes as she shared part of her story. “I’m not necessarily in trouble, but by the rules of polite society, I should not be here,” she said, twisting the cloth between her fingers, still unable to make eye contact. “You are aware that my husband died recently, but the truth is he died only four months ago, and I should still be in full mourning. It’s hardly proper for me to be at a social engagement for at least another two months, or even eight.” Blushing deeply, she finally lifted her head to face Moira. “I should not have accepted your offer to join you here, it is most improper. If you wish me to go, I will. The last thing I want is for my indecent behavior to reflect poorly upon you.” She could feel the strain on her body as she tensed in anticipation of Moira’s reaction.
“Of course I want you here, and I will always forgive you,” Moira said without hesitation, a reflection of both her good nature and how close they had once been. “But may I ask why you have chosen to be here instead of at home remembering your husband?”
“I’m rather at the mercy of my husband’s family at the moment,” Grace admitted with some embarrassment. “The new Earl of Camden was keen to return to the city and insisted I accompany him and his wife. Not wishing to miss any entertainments in London, he decided we would no longer adorn mourning once we reached the city.”
“So you cannot honor your husband because it would reflect poorly on them if they did not continue to do so as well,” Moira said, quickly grasping Grace’s circumstances.
“I cannot upset them. I am reliant on their support,” Grace said softly. “I am looking for a placement as a companion or governess so I may be able to leave them as soon as possible, but for now I am reliant on their hospitality.” She once again looked down, unable to meet the curiosity in Moira’s eye. She hurried to preempt the questions Moira would ask if given the opportunity. “When you asked me to join you here, I selfishly saw it as an opportunity to get away for a while as I try and find my next place. I can’t be around them, but I will leave if you don’t think it proper for me to be here,” she said.
At this point, Grace was past decorum and willing to beg to find peace away from her husband’s relatives. Practically vibrating from the stress she was under, she could feel a dull ache beginning in her temples and wished only to disappear. Grace was deeply ashamed that she had sunk so low as to take advantage of her friend in such a way. She couldn’t bear imagining how her father would feel about her being in such a position.
“Oh, you poor dear,” Moira said, rushing to envelope her in an embrace, and Grace had to keep herself from bursting into tears. “Of course you should stay. I don’t care that you should still be in mourning, I care that you are happy and well. I am glad you are here,” Moira said, squeezing her tightly. Relief flooded Grace, and she melted into the comfort of her friend’s arms. Pulling back, she wiped at her eyes and leaned her forehead against Moira’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” Grace said through a lump in her throat, her relief palpable. “I am so sorry to be an imposition, but I can’t tell you what a weight you have lifted off my shoulders. I did not like feeling as if I were deceiving you, not knowing my full situation, and I am grateful you are still willing to have me.” They embraced for a long moment, simply enjoying being with one another again.
Leaning back and wiping a stray tear of her own, Moira said, “Now, getting back to the business at hand, because you are not well-known in London society and the earl was not often out in the city or active in Parliament, we should be able to keep your mourning status relatively quiet. No one knows the details or timing of his passing, but should it become known, we can use the excuse that you are a dear friend and practically family to justify your presence here. Many accept that those in mourning can still attended family events.”
“Thank you,” Grace said sincerely. “I don’t suppose you know of anyone looking for help? Would any of the guests coming be in need of a governess or companion?” She hated to ask but was desperate to find a placement as soon as possible.
“Is it really as dire as that?” Moira asked gently, trying not to pry. Grace appreciated Moira reigning in her curiosity as the renewed relationship between them was still fragile, no matter how deep their bond had once been.
“I’m afraid so. It is untenable to remain with the new earl, and I do not have the means to establish a home for myself.” Humiliated, Grace left out how no one had cared about her well-being enough to ensure her a widow’s portion when her marriage contract had been negotiated, forcing her to either rely on family support, which she did not possess, or find a means to establish her own way.
“I am happy to ask around once everyone arrives,” Moira assured her. “Is there anyone in particular you wish me to inquire with?”
“No, not that I know of,” Grace replied. “Who is on the guest list?” She was quite curious to find out who would be there other than Thomas and the Duke of Carrington.
“Well,” Moira began, thinking through her guest list. “There will be twenty-four guests total in attendance. Nearly half will be composed of married couples, some elderly relations, and chaperones for some of the young ladies. But there will also be several eligible gentlemen.” With a twinkle in her eye, Moira paused before asking, “Have you considered the possibility of finding a new husband? Some of my husband’s friends will be here, and they are wonderful men. Mr. Sidney Bright, Captain Claybourn, and the Duke of Carrington are all eligible, and Fitz and I love them dearly.” She was clearly keen on the idea of playing matchmaker.
“No. I will never marry again,” Grace said firmly. “I would much rather be responsible for myself.”
Moira’s look of concern returned at her flat denial of the idea of marriage. To many it would seem to be an ideal solution, but Grace saw it as stifling.
“We really do need to spend time catching up on the last few years. It sounds as if there is a much larger story here and that you truly are in need of an old friend,” Moira said.
CHAPTER4
The opening dinner of the house party had only just commenced, but Henry was already gritting his teeth. Moira sat him between a young lady, Jane, he thought someone had said, who had just finished her first season unattached, and Lady Wrexham, who had an available daughter accompanying her this week. Each was trying to ingratiate themselves to him, for a single duke of marriageable age was considered a top prize. Both seemed to want to win.
He shot a glare in Moira’s direction as Lady Wrexham spoke ad nauseam about how her precious Anne could do no wrong and would be such a good influence on other young ladies if she held the position of duchess. Moira sent him a wry smile in return, as if to say,Sorry, deal with it and be nice.He could have happily killed her for putting him in this situation and convincing him to come in the first place. Reid, sitting across from him and catching the direction of the glare, smirked.
He turned toward Jane, the lesser of the two irritants, and tried to make conversation. “Is this your first time attending a house party?” he asked, not knowing how else to begin.
“Oh, yes. I’m having such a lovely time. It’s wonderful to make such nice, new acquaintances, don’t you think?” she simpered, coquettishly looking up at him while batting her eyelashes. Henry couldn’t stand such affected and insincere comments, but he could hardly blame the poor young lady for behaving in such a manner. From what he recalled during his time at Cambridge, this was how young women in thetonwere taught to act in order to catch a man, having been told their entire lives that making a good match was their greatest purpose. He hated that women’s agency had been reduced to focus on such a goal.
As he half listened to her prattle on about how much she had enjoyed being out last season, he reflected on how unfortunate it was that most eligible ladies on the marriage market were so young. Listening to Jane, he couldn’t imagine setting up a life with a young woman like her, half his age and with little comprehension of how to deal with the complications of life. How would such a young lady make a good partner for him and be able to handle all the responsibilities of a duchess? While he was nowhere near ready for a wife, he would like to be with someone older who had more life experience.
