CHAPTER11
Afternoon tea left Grace feeling uneasy and overwhelmed, as the gossip swirled around her in the drawing room, the women chatting while the men were out on a ride around the estate grounds.
She had managed to keep mostly to herself in the library this morning as she continued recovering. The only one to disturb her had been Carrington, and she felt her cheeks warm remembering her conversation with him. He had not been with her long, but had left an impression. Not only had he spoken to Thomas, but he seemed truly concerned for her well-being. Through the little she had learned of him, Grace believed he was a good man at heart, and he seemed happiest when doing what was right and helping others when he could.
What really stood out to her, other than once again noticing what a handsome man he is, was how encouraging he had been about the idea of her reading. She was so used to hiding books, she had done so again this morning purely out of habit. But he did not even blink at the idea of a woman reading.
It was exhilarating knowing that she was now in charge of her own life and could do as she pleased. No one at Geffen House had any authority over her—to an extent. Grace was still obligated to attend the different house party events, such as this dreadful afternoon tea. She used to easily converse with large groups of people; while always polite, she was never afraid to speak her mind. Now, though, Grace was so used to keeping her thoughts to herself and spending time alone that she was struggling to engage with the other women and enter the conversation around her.
“Did you hear about Lady Fox?” Lady Wrexham asked gleefully. A murmur went around the room and several ladies shook their heads. “Well,” Lady Wrexham began after a dramatic pause, “it’s quite the scandal.”
What followed next was a tale about how the widowed Lady Fox, still a young woman by all accounts, had fallen in love with and remarried a man who worked as her uncle’s law clerk. “A clerk! Can you believe it!” Lady Wrexham shrieked as many of the other ladies tittered around her.
“What is so scandalous about a woman falling in love?” Grace asked before she could stop herself.
“What do you mean what’s so scandalous,” Lady Wrexham said, clearly offended. “She married far below her station. The man worked for a living and was untitled.” This was said as if marrying below one’s station and the need to work for a wage were the worst things that Lady Wrexham could possibly think of.
“But if they are both happy, why should that matter?” Grace persisted. “Who does it harm if they are together?” She knew she was pushing her luck, but she felt passionately that when there was real love, nothing should stand in the way of it.
“Who does it harm?” Lady Wrexham said in disbelief, parroting Grace once again. “Why—it upsets the natural order of things” she spluttered. “The class system exists for a reason. It’s just not done to upset it in such a manner.”
“Would it not be more upsetting to keep two people who love each other separated?” The whole room was looking at Grace as if she were a foreign object. “Would the unhappiness created by separating two people in love for no good reason not have a detrimental effect on far more people than simply upsetting some people’s sensibilities?”
Grace knew it was foolish to continue with her current thoughts if she did not want to draw attention and possibly damage her reputation, but she couldn’t help herself now that she had started. “What about whomever they ended up marrying having to live knowing their spouse loves another—would that not be harmful? And what about the children who would be brought up in that unhappy marriage? How would life be better for them, growing up in such an atmosphere simply because their parents’ marriage was agreed upon under the accepted rules of class?”
Grace was spluttering now, and everyone was looking at her with mouths agape. “You don’t know who’s harmed when people are not allowed to love whom they will,” she said through tears in her eyes. Registering the awkward silence, Grace came back to herself and realized the scene she had just made. Mortified, she could feel herself warming under everyone’s stunned gaze. “Excuse me,” she said before fleeing the room.
“Well, I never!” Grace heard Lady Wrexham exclaim as she rounded the corner to the balcony for some air.
“Grace . . . are you alright?” she heard Moira say from behind a moment later. Her chest heaving as she tried to slow her breathing and compose herself, Grace felt Moira’s gentle hand on her shoulder. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” Moira asked.
“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I didn’t mean to make a scene. I just get upset with the rules that dictate how we should live sometimes.”
“It’s fine,” Moira said. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” She peered into Grace’s eyes, looking for the truth of what had just transpired. After a moment, she inquired again, “You want to tell me what that was all about?”
Grace took in a deep breath before finding a seat in the shade. Moira followed her and took another chair, still looking concerned. “My husband didn’t love me,” Grace confessed. “He wanted to be with someone else, and the fact that he couldn’t made him miserable. He wasn’t the most amiable person to be around, and his unhappiness in turn made me miserable as well.”
“Did he mistreat you?” Moira asked, unsure she really wanted an answer.
“No,” Grace replied. “He just ignored me. Both our lives would have been so much better if he would have been allowed to be with the person he loved. But because society wouldn’t have approved the match, he married me instead, and both of our lives were ruined.” She discovered her cheeks were wet and hastily wiped them before daring to look at Moira.
“I’m so sorry, Grace,” she said. “I wish I would have known what had happened to you and how unhappy you were.”
“I’m here now,” she said, taking her friend’s hand and squeezing. “And I apologize for being so awkward. I certainly didn’t make any friends in there.” An almost maniacal laugh escaped her, with Moira bursting into laughter a moment later.
“Oh, the look on Lady Wrexham’s face was priceless!” Moira said between gasps of air. “I will say,” she added after calming down, “it was nice to see the Grace I remember coming back.”
“It did feel rather nice to speak my mind,” Grace agreed. “But maybe I should find a less controversial topic next time.”
CHAPTER12
That evening Moira had planned for yet another dance, and Henry concealed his annoyance with a faint smile. At least she invited additional guests from the neighboring community to join them; he would have more options for dance partners, rather than having to dance with the same hopeful young ladies over and over again. Best of all, Grace would be there, and he was anxious to spend more time with her.
Spotting her across the room, Henry began to surreptitiously make his way her direction, skirting around the edges of the room to avoid being waylaid by potential matches. As he passed behind a potted palm, he heard hushed voices coming from a hidden corner of the room. He would have ignored it, but hearing his name mentioned, he stopped to listen.
“He’s always keen to be of assistance,” came a female voice.
“Yes, such a gentleman,” concurred another woman.
