I swallow and keep going. “I know you told me to stay home. I get why. I wasn’t trying to be reckless or ignore you. I was just…” I search for the right word. The right feeling. “Suffocating.”
Blade’s jaw ticks like he’s fighting thirty different emotions at once.
“I’ve been sitting in that house every night,” I say. “Watching you gear up and walk back into danger like you’re built for it. Like you don’t even feel fear.” My voice catches. “And then I’m just there. Waiting. Alone. Wondering if the reason you keep leaving isn’t danger but… me.”
He opens his mouth but I hold up a hand. I need to finish or I’ll never get it out.
“I felt like a hostage,” I admit. “A passenger in a life that suddenly became mine without asking me. Ansley wanted a girls night and I told myself it would be quick, harmless, normal. Something that reminded me I exist outside of locked doors.”
Blade’s eyes close like that physically hurts him.
“I thought… if I was home before you noticed, it wouldn’t matter,” I whisper. “I wasn’t trying to disrespect you. I just needed one hour of feeling like myself instead of the girl waiting for the next bad thing to happen.”
He nods once, slow. “I should have seen that. I should have known you were drowning in the silence.”
He pulls me closer, settling me into his lap, his arms sliding around me like I belong there. And God, I do. His hands rest on my hips, and I feel it everywhere. Like my body remembers exactly where it fits, even while my heart is still low-key spiraling. He leans his forehead against mine, and suddenly breathing doesn’t feel so impossible.
“I didn’t think about what it felt like for you,” he says. His voice is low and rough, like the admission costs him. “I was so focused on keeping everything away from you that I forgot you still need to live.”
My eyes burn again. Because yeah. That’s exactly it. I need air. I need him. I need both at the same time.
“I was scared,” I whisper. “And lonely. And when those guys showed up, I thought maybe it was punishment. Like I deserved it for leaving the house. For breaking the rule you set.”
His face changes instantly, like the words punch him straight in the chest. “Don’t you ever think that,” he growls. It’s notanger at me. It’s anger that I ever believed it. “They grabbed you because they’re garbage. Not because you made one wrong choice.”
My throat closes. “You yelled at me like it was my fault.”
He shuts his eyes, like my voice physically hurts him. “I was angry at them,” he says. “Terrified for you. And I threw all that fear at you instead.” His voice cracks just a little. “You did nothing wrong, baby girl. Absolutely nothing. If I could take back everything I said and how I reacted, I would. I hate that I made you feel that way.”
I watch him closely. His eyes look different now. Not wild. Not furious. Open. Raw. Scared. Honest. And it freaks me out how much that matters.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “So fucking sorry. I know I messed up bad, and I don’t deserve a shred of grace from you, but I’m enough of a bastard to beg for it.”
I lift my hand, fingers shaking, and brush my thumb over his bottom lip before meeting his eyes. “We need to talk,” I say. “Not over each other. Not just yelling when everything explodes. I need to tell you when I feel trapped so you actually know where I’m coming from.”
He nods immediately. “You’re right.”
I take his hand and press it flat against his chest, over that stupid, stubborn heart that beats way too loud for someone who pretends he doesn’t care. “We’re a team,” I say. “At least, that’s what I want us to be. I need you to treat me like someone fighting beside you, not someone you have to tie up and hide.”
His fingers curl around mine like he never wants to let go. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known,” he says. “I trust you. I just… need help trusting myself not to lose you.”
That one hits hard. Right in the chest.
I lean in and kiss him once, soft and quick. A promise. And also a warning. Then I pull back before we get swept away again, brushing my fingers over his cheeks. “No more shutting me out.”
He nods. “No more trying to lock you up just because I’m scared.”
I take a shaky breath. “And no more sneaking out just because I’m scared.”
We both let out a small, broken laugh because wow, we really are elite at being idiots sometimes. He cups the back of my neck and rests his forehead against mine again.
“Deal.”
“Deal,” I whisper back.
The door slams open.
I jump.
