“I will. Do you need me to send him somewhere for lunch today? I think he’d love it.”
Jake yawns then, but there's a bounce in his voice. “No, thank you. I have stand-in staff coming today. Besides, aren't you spending the rest of the day shagging each other's brains out?”
“Something like that.” I sigh.
“I could always try and extend your stay,” he says with a leading tone. “I'd have to downgrade your accommodation now we're going to be booked up but I'm sure I can find something.”
“Yes, about that. Are the Bouras’ pleased with the new bookings?”
“Delighted! They even mentioned my favourite B-word?”
“Boner?” I guess.
“Okay, second favourite B-word. Bonus! I may actually get a bonus this season!” Jake’s delight makes me smile.
“You absolutely deserve it,” I say.
“And you deserve Marty. So why not bunk up with me in my off-site shack for a few more nights?”
“No,” I reply. I need to affirm out loud what I've been telling myself. “I think it's right I go. No matter when we say goodbye it's going to hurt.”
“But you will see each other again, won't you, Jen? That Irish rogue is infatuated with you, and I don't think I'm far off the mark when I say you feel the same.”
I look at Marty leaning back in a chair, gazing lazily at the horizon and hugging his coffee mug. “I feel the same. And he knows it.”
“Just promise me when you get married you come back and do it here? Hopefully, I'll still be the manager and it will be a successful business again and I can source the most epic marquee to blow Hospital Tent Gate completely out-”
“Jake. Nobody is getting married. Certainly not me. Now can I ask a very depressing question? Can you check my car is booked for tomorrow?”
“Already did. It will be here at 9:30. You need an alarm call?”
“No, thank you. I will have another reason to wake up early,” I say, my eyes still on Marty.
Jake groans. “You're testing my ability to stay at a healthy thirty per cent jealous of you both.”
“And you're wasting too much of your precious energy on this phone call. Thank you for breakfast plus extras. I'll message you later.”
“It's a pleasure. It should be with you in about thirty minutes,” Jake replies. “And Jenna, enjoy today. I am so happy you found him or rather, that my arse found him for you.”
“Me too, Jake.” I smile as I replace the phone's handset.
“Breakfast is on its way,” I say as I rejoin Marty, placing a kiss on his head, before moving to sit on the other side of the table.
“Grand,” Marty says. “So, what are you doing in July or August?”
I don't say anything, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he keeps talking.
“I should have enough money then for flights to London. I figure I can get the cheapest ones possible, hand-luggage only, and just take a backpack because it's not like I’ll need many clothes,” he says with a wink.
I hope I swallow my wince before I speak. “Marty, we don't have to talk about this now.”
“Iwantto talk about this now. I want to know when we'll be together again.”
Despite our declarations of love earlier, and what I felt in that moment - what I still so fervently feel - I keep freezing every time the concept of us 'together' after this holiday is presented to me or arises independently in my own mind. I am doing my best to be curious about why I feel strangely ill at ease about making plans. It's not because I don't want to see him again - having a date in the diary for when we could hold each other close again is possibly the one thing that would take the edge off the dread at saying goodbye tomorrow - but more because when I told him I loved him, I accepted that came with a certain set of responsibilities.
Because I love him, I want to do the right thing by Marty.
“What does it look like to you? Us being together?” I ask.
