"Not Mara?" I step closer, frowning. "Then who?"
His chest rises and falls, fists curling, unclenching, curling again.
Then it hits me, the one name I don't want to say. My eyes shoot wide open. "You mean... Lisa?"
His face caves in the smallest way, and that tiny confirmation is enough to have me stagger back, hitting the cold fridge.
"Emma, let me—"
A laugh claws out of me, high and hysterical. "No. No. This is... you're joking. Lisa can't be pregnant. Tell me this is some sick joke, Ben."
He blows out a breath instead of an answer. Shakes his head.
I feel my throat tightening to the point I might suffocate.
"How?! How is it possible? You told me you weren't with her. Handed it yourself without me asking. Have you been lying?"
"No, I didn't!"
"This whole time?"
"No!"
"While I loved you?!"
He rises, hands shooting up like he's surrendering to a firing squad. "No! Jesus Christ, no. Don't say that. Don't make me that man. I already hate myself enough—I couldn't survive you hating me too. Listen to me—"
My hand smacks against the counter before I can stop myself. "I don't want any excuses! Tell me the truth. How did it happen if you didn't sleep with her?!"
"It... it must've been..." He chokes on the rest when he sees me dying inside, then forces it out: "The last time we slept together."
That lands like a sucker-punch into my gut. I grip my ribs to stay upright, to preserve some dignity, but it's leaking out anyway. My chest is an unzipped suitcase, blood and love and every damn dream spilling across the floor, irretrievable.
"When? When was that?"
"Emma, calm down—"
"WHEN, BEN?" I scream. "When's the last time youfuckedher?"
He takes a step closer, voice low, "I think a day or two... before I kissed you, before the tent."
"You think?!"
Can't. Breathe. My fist closes so violently on the bracelet he gave me that I feel metal carving flesh—the reminder of my idiocy.
Bile rushes up my throat as the image of them invades my head. I try to shake it off.No. No. Don't do this to me. I can't.But it's there. His skin on hers while she's raking her nails on his back. His mouth pressed in places where I thought it was only for me.
My stomach surges. My head falls into the sink, gagging on nothing.
"Emma. Let me hold you." Ben steps behind me, but I push him away.
"Don't touch me. Don't you dare. You lying bastard," I hiss.
"I didn't lie!" His roar shreds the air like thunder. "I'm telling you the truth, about her, about us. I swear to god, I didn't know. I didn't fucking know!"
He storms toward the main door and his fist hammers on the wall. The sound rattles through the walls and me.
For a beat, I stare blankly at the hole where his fist left a mark, then at his heaving chest and shocked face, like he just realized what he's done.
