"True," Mara chimes in. "Ben was bullying the bullies."
Carmela finally sits down and jumps in the conversation. "Ben takes after my father. He's got the good genes."
Antonio and Mara roll their eyes in unison. "The good genes," they groan. Clearly an old line.
I see why. Mara and Antonio have those round, romantic features. Ben and Carmela are made of angles and firelight.
Honestly, Carmela's eyes are the only reason I'm not hyperventilating because when I look into them, I see Ben.
"Don't listen to her,bambina," Antonio says to Mara. "She's just jealous I aged like wine and she like vinegar."
The table gasps in laughter the second the comment is made. Mara shrieks, laughing. It seems normal since Carmela swats Antonio's shoulder, but she's laughing too.
He grabs her hand, kissing all of her fingers.
Oh. I feel myself melt a little because that's how Ben kisses my hands.
"I joke! I joke! She's my vinegar—sharp, strong, makes everything better."
Antonio grins and claps his hands. Then gives me a smile that's supposed to calm me down I guess. "We give short thanks first, okay?"
I nod and pretend it's fine, that I'm not nervous. Last time I celebrated Thanksgiving was when I was eight or nine and it was just me, Mom and Dad.
Antonio starts. "Lord, we thank You for those not here with us tonight but forever in our hearts—"
"Nonna Gia." Dino cuts in, raising his glass. "Mio amore, Lucia. We miss you."
"Bless all the hands that prepared this meal," Ben says,squeezing Carmela's hand.
"We're very grateful for every member of this beautiful family," Mara beams, meeting each face just as Paul pulls her closer and kisses her cheek devotedly.
"And for the blessings we didn't see coming," he says.
Everyone turns to Carmela with sudden anticipation because we all know it's her blessing we need.
My stomach twists so hard I'm not sure I'll manage a bite.
It doesn't matter what Ben told me, I can compare Carmela's behavior to the wedding and there's definitely a distance now. I can't blame her, but I desperately want her to like me.
She closes her eyes and takes a big breath. "Lord, give us patience for our stubborn children. Give us wisdom to understand that mistakes are made, that life is not always simple. Please teach us to walk Your path with grace." She pauses there for a beat and looks at Ben and me.
I can feel my heart up my throat while Ben watches her intently.
She clears her throat, closes her eyes and says softly, "But mostly thank You for these big hearts you gave us, Lord. That we may love everyone whom You put in our path. Especially those that make us love more."
Oh... that's beautiful...
Ben kisses her hand again like a weight got off his chest just as she smiles at him, and my throat locks. Emotions swell behind my eyes and my vision blurs.
I sniffle it away without anyone noticing and croak, "CanI... Can I say something too?"
Carmela nods at me. "Absolutely. You should."
I draw in a breath and push it past the lump in my throat. "I just wanted to say, thank you for meeting me. I've heard about your kindness and compassion for years, and I'm grateful to finally experience it. I didn't grow up with a family like this, so the space you've made for me—it matters, more than I can say. And I know it matters to Ben, which means everything to me."
I swallow the rest of my sobs and thank god, Carmela saves me—she reaches for my hand and squeezes it once, her silent approval stamped into my skin.
"Bene. Amen. Mangiamo."She gestures over a ridiculous amount of food she made.
