“Oh?” Oliver said cautiously, trying to keep his face neutral despite the pang of anxiety shooting across the tether.
“It’s nothing bad, I promise.” Taking a deep breath, Felipe gave Oliver’s arm a reassuring pat. “First off, I’m very glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me what happened to you and everything you’ve been dealing with. What I want to discuss is something you brought up that we didn’t get into, but before I do, I want to preface it with a few things.”
Oliver’s fingers tightened on the sandwich as he swallowed hard. Christ almighty, Felipe hated how nervous Oliver looked. He probably shouldn’t have brought this up. He could have let it go, but there was a part of him that feared Oliver would want to try again to appease him despite everything. Glancing out the steamer windows, Felipe made sure no one was near enough to hear him as he scooted closer to Oliver.
“I want to be clear that if we never do the thing I asked about last night, that would be fine with me. Yes, I have enjoyed it in the past, but I won’t be upset if I never do it again. I don’t want you to ever think you’re depriving me or something by not being able to do it. Does that make sense?”
Oliver nodded, still looking on guard but at least he no longer held his food in a death grip.
“Last night, you mentioned that you wanted to keep trying for your own sake, for your enjoyment and peace of mind. Or that’s how I understood it.”
“And you said you wouldn’t do it because you don’t want to hurt me,” Oliver replied with a raised brow.
“Correct.” Felipe paused. He needed to tread lightly. “Now, if you still want to try that in the future, I will help you however I can,butwe need some time to figure out how we should go about it without harming you because what I did last night is where I would normally start and I don’t want to repeat that experience.”
“But what if it takes years or I realize I can’t do it?”
“Then, that’s fine with me. If it takes years, it takes years. I’m not going anywhere. And if you find you no longer want to try or don’t like it, that’s fine, too. I won’t press you. I said this when we first kissed, and I’ll say it again, there is no wrong choice; the pace is yours to set.”
Oliver’s lip wobbled but settled into a nervous smile. “Thank you, Felipe. I appreciate it.”
“Don’t thank me until we’ve figured something out. I need to do some thinking and possibly some research.”
When Felipe met his eye, Oliver’s cheeks flushed with heat. Felipe barked a laugh as his partner shoved what remained of his bagel into his mouth and turned away. Oliver didn’t need to know that his research would consist of asking him a lot of questions, referencing a handful of illicit books, experimenting on himself, if necessary, but mostly, it would be trial and error. If they ended up at a loss, he would probably ask for Louisa and Agatha’s advice on the matter, and they could ask some of their queer bohemian friends for their input in a roundabout way. While he knew Oliver best and could guess what would not work, outside ideas never hurt.
“As I said though, give me time. I want to let things calm down with what happened and with the case before we attempt anything again.”
“I can wait.” Oliver wiped his hands on his handkerchief and checked his pocket watch. “It’s getting late. We should get back before Ansley complains to the head inspector.”
“I was thinking we might use our time away to do a little snooping on our own. Do you have the other doctor’s address?”
“Yes. Well, technically there are two, but the one Gwen suggested is on 30thand 5th, the Wilbraham, apartment 2B. It’s closest to the Institute for the Betterment of the Soul.”
Felipe pulled away from the curb and headed uptown. “We are going to see if Dr. Thorn is in.”
“But the head inspector said we weren’t to talk to any employees about the case without Ansley’s say-so.”
“Thorn was fired. That makes him fair game.”
***
PARKING ACROSS THEstreet from the Wilbraham, Oliver’s stomach knotted. The Wilbraham was in a far posher area, but it reminded him of the place he had lived in Philadelphia before everything went wrong. The bachelor apartments were meant to be a boarding house for gentlemen or professional men, though half the men living there had no intention of ever finding a wife. While Oliver had hoped for a quiet home where he wouldn’t have to worry about scrounging up food after a long day on the wards, what he found instead were intrusive strangers who turned up at all hours, people who found him off-putting even when he tried to be friendly, and a housekeeper who rearranged his belongings. Oliver shook his head. This wasn’t Philadelphia, and he wasn’t moving here. Unlike the drearier, older lodgings he had rented, the Wilbraham was clad in red brick, tall and stately with a Mansford roof and reliefs depicting leaves, fleur-de-les, and smirking green men beneath each window. It was a strange motif, and Oliver wondered if perhaps the building catered to the magically inclined.
At Felipe’s nudge, Oliver blinked and followed him to the door. “I’m going to ask about a room for rent. If they leave us alone to look, I’m going to knock on 2B’s door.”
“What if they don’t?”
“Then, I’ll figure something out.”
At the front desk, a man stood sorting the mail. He was tan, bald, and built like a reed, which was only heightened by his pinstriped suit. As they approached, he lifted his head and gave them an affable nod. “How may I help you, gentlemen?”
“Good afternoon, I’m about to transfer to a law firm nearby, and I was hoping you might have a room available. My friend,” Felipe said, gesturing to Oliver, “highly recommended your establishment as his lodging house is full.”
“You are in luck. We have two rooms right now, though one may soon be spoken for. I can only show you that one at the moment, but it’s nearly identical to the room you would rent. The other isn’t quite ready for boarders yet. When are you looking to move in?”
“Within the next two weeks. I start my job in sixteen days, but I would like to be settled in by then.”
“Understood. Let me show you up.”
