Guilt and anger tugged at Felipe’s gut. “Do you think I wanted to miss Christmas? Do you think I enjoyed being away for months on end, chasing a gang of pyros across the whole damn country? I hated every minute of it. But I wrote to you and to Teresa. I apologized profusely and sent her gifts and a card. When she got them, she wrote to me and said she understood.”
“Of course she did. You’re her father, and she wouldn’t guilt you into coming back for her.”
“Though Louisa would,” Agatha murmured into her cup.
“And she did.”
“Little good it did us. Poor Teresa was out of sorts the entire day.”
“There was an abundance of deep sighing.”
“‘I wonder where Papa is.’ ‘I hope Papa is okay.’ She missed you terribly.” Reaching across the table, Louisa laid her hand over Felipe’s. “I understand duty. I understand that you do the job you do because you like the work, the adventure of it all—”
“And that I’m protecting us all.”
“And that you fight the monsters that lurk in the dark, but you are letting them take advantage of you.”
“I am not.”
“You are. You were back and forth across the country how many times this past year? Isn’t there someone out west who can do that instead of you? We both know there are multiple paranormal societies in California, and the Pinkertons happily employ werewolves and werebears to do their bidding.”
“It isn’t that simple.”
Cutting the almond cake in the center of the table with a pointed clank against the china, Louisa dropped a piece onto Felipe’s plate with a glare. “Of course, it isn’t. But we left California for a reason: because it was dangerous.”
“I thought it was because you didn’t want to marry Ramon Carrillo.”
It was a low blow, but before Louisa could retort, Agatha leaned across the table to murmur something in her ear. When the other woman’s jaw clamped shut and she sat back with her arms crossed, Agatha gently pulled the cake knife from her hand and cut her own slice.
“What I think Louisa is trying to say is, we are worried about you, Felipe. You seem to be spending more and more time on cases that take you far away from us. We know you have your own life, and we don’t expect you to visit daily, but this case load has to be taking you away from your life as well.” Placing a plate in front of Louisa and refilling their cups, Agatha watched for Felipe’s reaction. When there was none, she said softly, “I know it’s been hard for you since Teresa left for school. I’m sure you’re missing your jaunting buddy as much as she misses you, but Louisa and I miss both of you. We didn’t expect both of you to leave us.”
Did we do something wrong?The silent question hung in the air, and Felipe wished he knew how to answer. Truthfully, they hadn’t done anything wrong or differently. Louisa and Agatha had always been glued at the hip. Even when they all lived together, they spent the majority of their time in Agatha’s art studio or at the gallery they ran or planning fundraisers and picnics for the causes Louisa championed. But Teresa had always been there, ready to take a walk in the park with the dogs before work or visit the Museum of Natural History when he had time off. He didn’t even really like the museum, he just liked spending time with his daughter. He liked seeing her sketches get better over time and talking about her budding life when the two of them had dinner after. It was their thing.
He would never stifle her happiness for his selfish needs, but he wished she had gone to college in Manhattan instead. At least, then, he wouldn’t feel so alone. Felipe wasn’t jealous of Louisa and Agatha. He and Louisa had been best friends since they were children, especially when they both realized they were not interested in the sort of life their families had planned for them. It worked out. They had helped each other escape a life of resentment and constraint, and Agatha had walked into their lives within weeks of arriving in New York. With their arrangement, Felipe had worried Louisa would grow to hate him, too, if she was forced to spend long stretches alone, but Agatha loved his best friend and gave her all he couldn’t. She was outgoing and spontaneous where Louisa was restrained. Over time, he found their relationship had shifted to where Louisa deferred to Agatha instead of him on most things while Agatha made a point to always include him.
But he didn’t mind. While he hadn’t had anyone he could ever call a life partner, he understood that their relationship was different. Most of his relationships with men were fleeting. He wasn’t competing for Louisa’s attention. He just wanted someone to defer to him like that. Staring down at his cake, Felipe’s meager appetite evaporated. He wasn’t being fair, to himself or them.
“You’re right. I’ve been away a lot.” He rubbed a hand over his face and set the plate aside. “Work has been more hectic lately. I’ll try to come by for Sunday dinner if you’ll have me.”
“You know you’re always welcome, Felipe,” Agatha replied with a sympathetic smile.
“Work will always be busy. There are only so many people with abilities in New York, but it doesn’t always have to be you.” When he opened his mouth to speak, Louisa raised her hand for silence. “I know you disagree, but they are running you ragged. One day your ability to heal yourself will run out. You know that, right? You aren’t invincible. You’re nearly forty. And if your knees are anything like mine, you’re not always going to be able to outrun something that wants to eat you. While I don’t think we should put other people in danger either, that doesn’t mean they need to sendyouout all the time because you’re least likely to die. You aren’t any less valuable than they are.”
Less valuable? Gritting his teeth, Felipe closed his eyes and tried to force out a calming breath. His value as an investigator was the one constant in his life, the one thing he managed to have control over. They wanted him to go out west because no one on that side of the country had as much experience as he did. No one had chased down as many creatures or made as many connections along the way. The fact that his body could repair itself was a bonus. Why should they put other people in harm’s way when he could take his share of injuries and more? A bullet, a bite, a burn, it didn’t matter. He could go longer and survive worse as long as he had food enough to fuel his ability. Pressing his hands to the table, Felipe’s chair skidded loudly across the tile as he stood.
“I’m going to go.”
Agatha sat staring up at him with pleading eyes while Louisa shook her head. “Go ahead. It’s what you do best.”
Felipe froze in the doorway. Tension crept up his neck and into his jaw as he gritted out, “I’m going, so I don’t say anything unkind, Louisa. I came here hoping to make up for lost time, not to get— to get raked across the coals for doing my job. I’m not doing this right now.”
“I’ll walk you out, Felipe.”
Felipe wanted to tell Agatha he didn’t need help finding the door, but he clamped his mouth shut and followed her. As he reached the foyer, a part of him hoped Louisa would call him back and try to make peace with him. She wouldn’t. They were far too alike, and she thought she was right. Kuchen’s hesitant steps echoed behind him, stopping at the edge of the foyer. The dog stared up at him with wide, shiny eyes that sent a pang of guilt washing over him. Beside him, Agatha let out a sigh as she retrieved his coat and scarf. She glanced down the hall toward the conservatory before turning back to him with a shake of her head.
“She’s just worried about you. You know how Louisa is.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.”
