Three names come to mind.
Bran—not choosing him, just no. The further away from this he is, the better.
Rory—too volatile. She’d probably dismember the first person in this... Turris who says something slightly misogynistic.
Colby—fits too damn perfectly for this, but he...
He won’t betray me, a voice that comes from the back of my brain whispers, and I... have to trust it.
Don’t I?
It’s not like Harry will give me any other options.
18
COLBY
I startle awake with a sense of urgency and see Eian sitting on my bed, looking at me with so much doubt and... well, fuck, heartbreak on his face that I can’t stop from throwing myself at him.
“What’s wrong?” I ask quietly with my arms around him. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Together we can figure out anything.” I know it.
“I didn’t know if you felt that way when you went to sleep.” His soft, gravelly voice right by my ear wraps me in that sense of safety I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of.
“I was just... overwhelmed,” I confess. “I needed silence to, like, process. I’ll still need more time probably, but at least now I can see you were right. Before. Trying to find out what that whole thing was about would be stupider than following those Italian goons.” I chuckle and drawback. In the almost complete darkness of the room he seems even more intimidating than normal, but I’m not scared of him. “I’m mostly wondering what’s going to happen next, you know? I know we need to be careful, but I still can’t let it go completely. Does that piss you off?”
“No.” He cups my cheek. “It makes perfect sense to me, sweet Colby.”
“I love when you call me that,” I admit.
He chuckles lightly, and I really fucking love the way his face transforms when he’s genuinely happy.
“I only do it when you are sweet, because most of the time you’re full of that snark.”
“You love it,” I mumble.
“Yes.” He leans in slowly, dragging the moment out so long I’m about to pull him down with me, but when his lips finally connect with mine, I sigh into the kiss.
It’s so stupid to be relieved to feel him like this again, but since we got out of that house, since we made it out alive, I am. I know there’s always going to be something I can’t figure out, a truth I can’t unearth.
But I know the truth in his eyes when he pulls back and in the darkness makes me feel like I’m full of sunshine and warmth.
“I love it, Colby. I love you. That’s never going to change.”
For some reason, those are the magic words.
“It’s been so fast, but... intense.” I have to swallow hard to push through the nerves, through the fear of what I’ll think of myself after this. “I don’t know how, Eian. I don’t understand how you love me, why you love me.”
“I don’t either, Colby. It’s not something I chose, not at first. I didn’t make a decision or set out to fall in love with you, but I do want to choose to keep loving you every day. Even if you give me a million heart attacks by being so reckless, I can promise you I’ll be happy to do everything in my power to keep you safe regardless.”
God, that’s so... perfect. My eyes fill up with glorious tears. A watery laugh escapes me as I reach up to hold his neck. I feel his steady heartbeat under my palm and marvel at how he’s looking at me for a long time.
That look, right there, so full of acceptance and... devotion.
I never thought I’d find it. For a long time I never thought I deserved it. Now I have it, if I can accept and embrace the fact that it’s coming from a criminal, from a mafia boss...
No need for that, I realize.
“I love you,” I whisper.
