I need to find some way to salvage our friendship, though. The agent-client thing... well, that I can live without, but having AJ in my life insomeway is more important.
That’s what I tell myself from the moment the plane touches down at LAX, through the airport, during the cab ride home, and when I walk into my house.
I stand in my foyer for a minute, and something feels off, like this isn’t... like I’m not supposed to?—
What sounds like a pot bangs against something in the kitchen and my heart starts to race uncontrollably.
Someone’s in my house.
“Shit.” The furious hiss doesn’t ease my fear, it increases it, because it’s not an intruder or a robber.
I round the corner and come face to face with the man I was sure a second ago was going to break my heart today.
“Oh, hey, you’re home.” Somehow his bright smile and the happiness in his eyes only make the ache in my chest grow. “Sorry for not giving you a head’s up, but I wanted to surprise you.” He holds up the pot and I see a creamy soup filling it.
“Y-you wanted to surprise me?” My voice comes out in a croak, my throat and mouth suddenly completely dry.
“Well, yeah.” AJ puts the pot down on the stove on theisland then turns quickly and opens the refrigerator, talking again with his head shoved inside. “I know this week probably sucked balls, and not the good kind.” He laughs at his own joke, but I don’t. I... can’t. “So I figured you’d probably want to stay in, and I didn’t wanna wait to see you again, so here I am.”
He’s holding up a big piece of cheese and that same perfect, sunshiny smile of his.
“You’re here,” I tell him quietly, and finally let go of my suitcase.
“Yeah, I am.” He tilts his head to the side. “Is that... okay?”
I hate that I made him hesitate. I hate every single man in my past who made me doubt the kindest person on the planet.
Viciously.
I hurry around the island and cup his cheeks, kiss his lips hard, then pull back just as fast and shake my head.
“It’s perfect.”
In that moment, when the voice comes back, the one that’s been mocking me for more than two decades...
No one’s going to wait around for you.
You’re not worth waiting for.
No one’s ever going to love someone as needy as you.
The only response in my brain to that stupid ass voice is laughter, and in fact, I also laugh out loud.
Finally free.
Then I kiss AJ again, because he’s the right man.
I’m not unlovable. I’m not too high-maintenance, too needy.
I’ve just been looking in all the wrong places, and if it wasn’t for that damn reunion, well then, I probably still would be.
“Thank you for waiting here for me,” I murmur.
“Of course.” That serious way of talking of his will never be normal, and I get he’s probably worried because I’m acting like a lunatic.
I don’t think he’d blame me if he knew why, though, but this moment is too happy to ruin with all of that.
“How can I help?” I ask instead.
