“I want to, Cam,” I tell him seriously this time.
“Jesus Christ, I need to see your face, AJ. Turn on the light.” He sounds grumpy now, but I know it’s just his fears popping up again, and I know I need to show him I mean it. I get up and turn on only the lamp on his side of the bed, then I kneel between his legs again.
He stares up at me, and I freaking love the attraction I see in his eyes, but I know I need to reassure him before I do anything else.
“I’ve been pegged before,” I start straight off. “And I already showered just a little while ago, and got a condom from your wallet and olive oil from the kitchen, since I couldn’t find any lube. I just need to finger myself a bit more and then I want to ride you, Cam.” I don’t look away from his eyes for a single second while I speak, and even though it goes on for what feels like forever, I don’t fear the way he lets the sound stretch.
Not when I can see his hard swallow, the way his dark eyes devour me, and how he licks at his bottom lip when his eyes get to my cock.
“Let me make sure you’re stretched out,” he says quietly and motions me forward.
I reach for the olive oil and pass it to him, then put one knee on each side of his hips, put my ass right on top of his cock, and swivel my hips a little like he did last night.
It has my anticipation growing while I watch him pour oil on his hand.
“Come here,” he whispers, and I oblige.
I kiss him, slowly at first. Now that he’s not protesting, I know I don’t need to rush this. I’ll want to remember this moment for the rest of my life, so yeah, I don’t rush it.
I let him set the pace while he reaches around me and palms my cheeks, and he touches my hole lightly, then with more pressure, and more and more after that. The tip of his finger slips in easily, then the rest.
The sensation is intoxicating, knowing he’s inside me, that he’ll keep being inside me for some time... it snaps something into place inside me.
His second finger slips in slowly, then his third. All the while his lips knead mine and we breathe against each other, and for a few moments I just stare into his beautiful dark eyes, so full of hope and... the future.
I don’t make even one smartass remark when he pulls his hand back and reaches for the condom. When he slides it down his cock, or when I line myself up to slide down.
I keep staring, keep recording every millisecond into my memory.
It stings at first, of course it does, but I’ve never been one to shrink back from a little pain. When I’m taking all of him, when I’m fully seated on him, it takes me a minute to get used to it, even if I don’t want to get used to it. I want to feel this newness forever, but at the same time I want it to be so familiar, so natural, that there’s never again any question or hesitation about it.
We belong together.
I move slowly. I want to make it last forever and wehave nowhere to go today, no one expecting us anywhere, so I do make it last.
It seems like it’s hours not minutes while I rise up and down, while I rotate my hips trying to find a rhythm, learning how he moves and matching him.
Eventually, though, he asks me to lie down and he covers me, then enters me again and tells me how perfect I am, how much I mean to him.
I try to tell him the same, to say anything, but I can’t. I can only feel him all around me and in me. I can only experience the strange feeling of having found a true home.
13
CAM
“All these yearsof friendship and I never knew this side of you, never thought you’d be like this during...” I trail off, not wanting to make things awkward, and keep combing my fingers through his soft hair. It’s what I’ve been doing for the past half hour since I slid out of him, cleaned us up, then snuggled him right up.
“During sex?” he asks. His voice still has that perpetual tone full of laughter, but it’s quieter now, more happy than teasing.
“Yes.”
“I don’t think sex has been like that for me before. It’s like I was in a trance.” He sounds almost distracted, but I know he’s anything but.
He’s reliving it in his head the way he does very good games or very bad games.
I know it’s for a good reason, but I still need to ask...
“In a good way?”
