That breath that was stalled in my throat? It disappears.
AJ sees me.
More clearly than anyone else.
And with that simple statement, I know I can try again. With him.
“You believe it can pay off now.” It’s a statement, not a question, but he nods in answer anyway.
“You’re the only person who’s ever made me want to try, Cam. So I’m not just asking for a hookup.” He takes a step back, a big one, and I feel the absence of his warmth instantly. I reach for his hand, not ready to completely break that connection, and that beautiful smile grows. “I’m asking for more.”
And fuck it if I don’t want to give it to him.
“My parents are flying out on Monday.” The change of topic is jarring, but it takes me a fraction of a second to understand where he’s going with this. “And I’m flying out a few hours after as well. I want you to come with me, Cam. For a week at the ranch where I can show you my life, and we can have some space away from everything to... try.”
Is there any world in which I could even try to say no?
I doubt it.
The third timeI fall off the “mild mannered” mare AJ picked out for me, I regret not trying harder to resist him. I could be in LA right now, stuck in traffic inside my luxury car and drinking my favorite coffee, slowly, like a civilized person. But no, instead I can feel the mud soakingmy T-shirt yet again and even getting under my damn pants.
Even as he hurries off his beautiful, big brown horse Arthur to help me up, his cackle of laughter is infuriating while at the same time being the one thing that makes me glad I did come with him.
“You said she was sweet,” I mutter.
“Her name is Sweetie Pie, Cam.” As far as defenses go, I guess it’s a good one.
“But why does she keep throwing me off her back?”
That definitely doesn’t come out as a whine.
“She’s not.” There’s still a laugh in his voice, but the tender look in his eyes softens it, I guess. “She just starts to move and you fall right off.”
I was worried about that.
“I told you I've never been on a horse,” I mutter.
“I know, I have a better idea.”
It’s a bit humiliating, sure, that all his nieces and nephews learned on Sweetie Pie, without anyone steering the horse on foot, but when AJ takes the reins and places his hand on my thigh, it doesn’t feel quite as terrifying when the big,biganimal under me moves.
“Now you take them,” AJ says softly after one minute of walking and turning and walking.
I hold my breath as I reach for them and brace again for the fall.
“Don’t hold your breath, Cam,” he says, patience brimming from his voice. “She can feel it. If you’re nervous, then she’ll be nervous, trust me.” I take my eyes offSweetie Pie’s dark mane for half a second and see his blue eyes shining up at me.
Those are eyes I trust. AJ would never lie to me about something so simple.
I let out the burst of air and... stay in the saddle.
“Oh, wow,” I whisper.
That is . . . pretty awesome, not gonna lie.
And I’m not going to tell AJ, but I bet my smile is enough for him to know.
He assured me late last night when we made it to his family’s home, that we wouldn’t work out in the fields, herd cattle, or do any of the actual hard work, but that he’d only take on as a kind of administrator.
