“Congrats, by the way,” he tells me from across my farm table. “On the new contract,” he clarifies when I don’t answer, and honestly I needed that. I wasn’t sure if he was congratulating me on kissing a guy—it could happen.
“Oh, thanks. Yeah, Cam got me everything I wanted.”
“People on all those talkshows are saying you were lowballed.”
I have to snort at that.
“Cam said that’s what would happen.”
“Thank you.” The sudden seriousness from him—not gruff, not growly—makes me snap my head up to look athim. “I know why you did that, and it’s gonna make us all better.”
I shrug and go back to eating. I don’t need to be thanked for doing the logical thing, the right thing. I’d like to believe I’m not the only guy on the team who’d do that for the Warriors, and I’m gonna keep on believing that.
“So, what do you need help with?” CJ asks a few minutes later when we’ve all eaten quite a bit.
“I need help with not fucking this thing with Cam up,” I tell them honestly. “I was set on forgetting about our awesome kiss, but then yesterday... yesterday we cleared things up, and I think he?—”
God this is going to sound childish, but why should I care? Out of all of us the only one who’s actually a grownup is CJ. Derek only masquerades as a grownup, and Wolf and Hawk will never be grownups.
“I think helikeslikes me, you know?”
“And do you?” Hawk asks excitedly. “Likelike him?”
“I really do,” I admit. “I mean, we’ve known each other for a decade, and I think we’ve become really good friends. I love having him in my life, but now it feels different, and I told him to really think about what he wants.”
“Have you?” Derek asks.
“Yes.” I nod and wipe my mouth with one of the wide red napkins I set on every plate. “I’m all in with him. I not only don’t want to lose him as a friend, I also want more. But I told him to think about it, because he always needs tothink things through. He’s an analytical guy, and he never makes a rash decision, you know?”
“I get that,” Hawk agrees. “This one is the same way.” He points his thumb at Derek. “Which means he’s gonna hound you about dealing with this big change in your life regarding your sexuality, andhave you thought of what that would mean for you?” he asks, doing a terrible impression of Derek. “Do you understand that people will talk about it? That people willwantto talk about it? Have you thought about how your family will react? How will your friends react? Your employer?”
“I have thought of all of that.” I stop him before he keeps asking any more questions. But now I think about it from Cam’s point of view, and I know what I need to do before he and I go any further.
I think it’s gonna have to wait till Monday, though, and that’s a bummer, since I was hoping to have this done before tomorrow’s cookout.
“Okay, now let’s talk some dates,” I say before the conversation can be derailed again.
“You mean how today is Friday? Or how to goon a date?” Hawk asks before he bites down on his third avocado toast.
I love how into this he is.
“I mean going on dates,” I confirm with a nod. “And then after that, we’re gonna discuss some sex stuff.”
“Yeah, I’m not gonna do that with my brother right there,” Wolf protests.
“It’s fine, you can help him with the dates,” CJ tells him, and throws an arm around his shoulders and looks at him with eyes so full of love that I’m equal parts impressed and bewildered. Those two are total opposites and yet they get to look at each other like that... like two saps.
I want Cam and me to have that.
So I get to work.
“Hi, Mom, Dad.”I welcome them in and hug the daylights out of them. “Quick, before we go out back and you pay attention to everyone but me.” I go to the office I have just next to the front door and get the envelope with their travel arrangements.
“Dad, I talked it out with Steve and he said next week Wednesday is the best time for you to take an actual vacation, and I just gotpaaaaid,” I singsong. “So you two are going away for a week and I’m going to take care of the ranch.”
They protest—of course they do—and I’m surprised when Mom tells me they can’t swing it as adamantly as Dad, but in the end they cave and thank me for the gift.
Aaaand then I lose them to the throngs of people in my back yard.
