“Just spit it out,” Lindsey demands.
“Okay, okay.” Another deep breath.
“AJ noticed and we went outside. I was just moaning about not being over Soren, or over what he did to me, and he was so nice about it.”
“Duh,” Morris deadpans. “It’s AJ.”
“Exactly,” I agree, happy he’s seeing it like I am. “I didn’t want to go back in, didn’t want to go to my mom’s place, so I took him to this spot I used to go to when I was moping, and well... AJ kissed me.” I finally blurt it out, rip the band aid off.
“Okay, you’re going to have to fill in the gaps,” Lindsey demands.
So I do. I go through it almost word for word.
“He obviously isn’t attracted to me,” I tell them afterI’m done. “He only wanted to comfort me because he’s AJ. There’s nothing AJ wouldn’t do for a friend, you both know how he is.”
Lindsey purses her lips and goes back to her plate, but Morris sighs and leans back in his chair.
“Man, of course AJ would do anything for a friend, and he’s always been a real loyal friend to you, but he’s never kissed you before, has he? Hell, you got the guy half a billion dollars and he didn’t kiss you when he was a stupid twenty-three-year-old, did he? If that’s all he was doing, then wouldn’t he have started doing that when he found out you’re gay?”
I . . . can’t compute.
That’s not—it doesn’t?—
Fuck.
“This is a tough one,” Morris continues as if he didn’t just blow up my whole reasoning. “Whatever the reason, AJ’s probably had a hell of a few days trying to figure himself out. You know, accepting that something you thought you knew about yourself isn’t the total truth is hard.”
“Yeah, I know.”
And I swear I do know, but . . .
Not. Thinking. About. It.
Not thinkingabout it was a stupid as fuck idea.
“Ready?” I ask AJ, but at the same time, I’m mentally telling myself I better be fucking ready for this.
It’s Thursday, and the speed of this deal means it’s probably going to go off without a hitch, but I’ve thought that before and it’s gone to shit, so this better fucking work today.
“Yeah, ’course I’m ready.” His easy smile doesn’t actually help me settle. “I have you.”
Such a simple statement really, but it’s also not.
He trusts me with his livelihood and passion, and here I am trying not to stare at his lips for too long—or at all really—and making sure we’re not in touching distance.
It feels wrong in every sense of the word—all of it.
Touching him, not touching him, looking at him, not looking at him, talking to him... yeah, I get it.
It’swrong.
“You’ll always have me in your corner, AJ.”
I have to look him in the eye for that. I have to make him realize how deeply I mean it.
“And you’ll always have me, Cam.”
God, this is too much.
