“Horseshit,” he shouts. “You’re going.” He swipes a hand in the air like him declaring it makes it true. “You have an awesome career and life, and you deserve to show off to him and anyone else who ever doubted you.”
“It was really only him,” I mumble. “It was all very secret.”
“So he made you hide,” he adds, stopping and slapping his hands on his hips. And on his face... well, that’s not any frown I’ve seen before. It looks kinda scary. His blue eyes look darker and his mouth is set in a grim line.
“No,” I correct him. “I was hiding anyway, and like I said, I’m over him, it’s just that it would be a glaring reminder that I’m still single.” Which wouldn’t really be an issue if I wasn’t so desperate for some real connection,a true relationship and partnership. I want that more than anything.
See? I am needy.
Fucking Soren. His voice comes right back to life in my head at the worst of times.
“It really wasn’t that bad. I liked almost everyone else.” I keep talking because right now it feels like a dark cloud of doom will swallow me up if I don’t, if I let the silence stretch a second longer. “There were a few exceptions, of course, but I had my teammates who were also my best friends back then.”
“See? You need to go.” Again with the damn declarations. “Reunions are awesome! I had so much fun at mine.”
Of course it was fun for him.
He’s AJ fucking Quick after all. Two-time Super Bowl champion, three-time NFL MVP... I bet people were clamoring to hang out with him.
“It’s different for me,” I stress out.
“Dude,” he deadpans. “How can it be different for you? You’re a millionaire, at the top of your game. You have your own agency now, you represent some of the most badass athletes in the world, and you love your job on top of that.”
Well, if he insists on being logical . . .
“Well, yeah, but none of my old classmates know that.”
“Caden knows,” he protests.
“Caden’s the only one I’ve kept in contact with, and healso doesn’t speak to anyone from back home as far as I know.”
“So he can hype you up,” he cajoles, and reaches out to drag the armchair closer to my desk, then he sits down and leans forward. His golden hair flops up and down in front of his eyes and he bats it away.
“You need a haircut,” I tell him, and he wags a finger at me.
“Don’t change the subject, buddy. What’s it going to take for you to go to this thing?”
“Why do you care so much?” I ask instead of answering, because I... don’t know.
“Because you deserve to go back home and show everyone what a success you’ve made of yourself and to have fun catching up with people you cared about. Now, what’s it going to take?” The insistent way in which he asks has me snapping back at him with the full unadulterated truth.
“If I find a devoted boyfriend who’ll go with me to this thing, who I want to spend the rest of my life with, who doesn’t mind that I’m travelling for work every week, and won’t cheat on me in the next five months, then I’ll go.”
That’s pretty much how low my standards have gotten, but it wasn’t always like that.
I’ve always searched for love... hence the whole Soren debacle, but for some reason I just can’t seem to find it, ever.
AJ deflates and slumps back, which is all I need to know that he just realized this isn’t happening.
In the last handful of years we’ve become closer friends than is normal for agent and client. He knows all about my failed attempts at findingthe one, and I know about his inability to find a normal girl to build a relationship with.
I can’t say I blame them for falling for him almost instantly, but some of them have taken things a bit too far, and AJ always just lets it slide and moves on.
The girl who broke into his house and cut up half his clothes? Didn’t press charges.
The one who stole his damn Ferrari?
He just asked for it back and didn’t even get a restraining order.
