“How dare you talk to me that way after all I have done for you?” Her voice was even and controlled, but her eyes glistened with anger. “After all I havesacrificedfor you!”
“I never asked you to degrade yourself for any of this!” Emmy swept her arm in front of her to include the room’s furnishings.
“Youhave no business scolding me for what I do for you.”
“Andyoucan’t keep blaming me for your mistakes!”
Emmy and her mother stood there glaring at each other for several seconds. Then Mum brushed past Emmy and walked back into the kitchen. Emmy followed her. Mum poured more tea into her cup, but a second later she hurled it into the sink. The teacup shattered and bits of porcelain flew up like ocean spray.
“You can’t keep blaming me for your mistakes,” Emmy said again. It was all she could say.
Mum placed her hands on the countertop and lowered her head. Her chest was heaving but she made no sound other than the inhalation and exhalation of air in her lungs.
“I have paid for everything I have ever given you, Emmy,” Mum said calmly. “I have paid and paid and paid.”
The accusation slid into Emmy’s core like a steel blade. “It’s not my fault you got pregnant.” Tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean you’re not a part of this. Leave me alone, Em.”
Emmy started to walk away but then abruptly turned back. Mum was not going to ruin anything for her ever again. She was through. She would get out of the flat and out of her way as soon as she could. Emmy would prove herself worthy to Mrs. Crofton and the woman’s cousin. She would move heaven and earth to make something of herself. As soon as she had her feet under her and her own place to live, she would come for Julia. Mum would be free to live whatever kind of life she wanted or had been denied. They would both have what they wanted most.
“I got a job working for the lady at the bridal shop,” Emmy said.
Mum faced her. “What?”
“I said I got a job. At the bridal shop. Two afternoons a week and some Saturdays.”
“The bridal shop.”
“Yes, the bridal shop. The owner is going to teach me to sew. She also looked at my sketches today and she said I have talent.”
“You and your brides,” Mum said derisively, under her breath but loud enough for Emmy to hear.
“She said I have talent! She likes my wedding gowns!”
“Pieces of paper, Emmy! They’re just pieces of paper. Just wait until you grow up and you see what real life is like. You can draw all the dresses you want and imagine your life an endless parade of perfect tomorrows. But wishing it won’t make it happen and neither will all the white bridal lace in the world. You’re chasing after moonbeams, Em. Someday you’re going to remember I told you this. You’ll thank me then. Just you wait.”
“Iamgrown-up. And I’m not like you.” The words felt like poison off Emmy’s lips, distasteful even to her. This time, Mum flinched but she held Emmy’s gaze.
“Everybody’s like me,” she said.
Emmy turned from her.
“I didn’t say you could take on a job!” she called after Emmy, almost like an afterthought.
“I’m not asking for your permission.”
“What am I supposed to do with Julia while you’re working?” she yelled as Emmy and her mother reassumed their roles.
“I’m not her mother. You are,” Emmy shouted back.
Emmy headed for the stairs that led to the bedrooms to get dressed for the day. She met Julia halfway.
“Why are you and Mum yelling?” Julia’s eyes were half-closed with the remnants of sleep. She hadn’t heard much.
“Mum broke a teacup. She’s just sad about it. Let’s leave her alone for a little bit.”
Emmy led her sister back up the stairs to their room and shut the door.
