“But it wasn’t that movie of his that got you on the blacklist,” June said. “It was dating him, right? Wouldn’t you go back and decide not to do that?”
“That was the studio’s idea.”
“But you went along with it. What if you could go back and not go along with it? What if you told the studio you wanted the movie to be the magic, which it already was, rather than some made-up Hollywood romance? Wouldn’t you do that if you could?”
Melanie sat back against the sofa cushions. Would she do that if she could? “Maybe,” she said.
But she knew she would. She’d go back and make the movie, which she’d loved doing, but not the other things. Nothing about Carson had been about love. Not even the sex. Especially not the sex. What was the good of doing something that had nothing to do with love?
“I would go back those weeks before Sascha and my papa and brother were taken and convince them to leave Russia like other Volga Germans had done. Everything would be different right now if we had.”
“Why didn’t you do that?” Melanie asked.
Eva shrugged. “We did not have anywhere to go. We should have left anyway.”
Melanie turned to June. “What about you? Where would you go back to? The night Elwood took the pills?”
June was silent for a moment, as though unsure she wanted to say what she’d say next. “I guess I’d go back to when I first met him.”
Melanie crinkled an eyebrow. “All the way back to then? To change what?”
June looked away from her, toward the tree made of dyed feathers. “I’ve always wondered what it would have been like to have chosen him instead of Frank. I loved Frank; I did. But I can’t help wondering how my life would’ve been different if I had married Elwood instead.”
“I don’t think it would work like that,” Melanie said.
June turned her head to face her again. “Like what?”
“You going back in time to when you met Elwood. You were dating his brother at the time, right? That’s how you met Elwood. Are you saying you would dump Frank to be with Elwood? He would have to fall in love with you, too, wouldn’t he? No time machine could force that to happen. Besides, can you see Elwood falling for the same girl who broke his brother’s heart? I know I didn’t know him as well as you, but I can’t.”
June frowned in consternation. “Well, I’d have to go back further, then, to before I met Frank. I’d have to meet Elwood on my own somehow. Maybe get a job at MGM instead of Warner Brothers so our paths could cross.”
“And then hope for the best?” Melanie asked. “What if you couldn’t make it happen?”
June seemed to need a moment to ponder this. “At least I would know, wouldn’t I? I could come back to this life and I wouldn’t wonder anymore.”
The three women were quiet as their wishes for what they would change if they could swirled unseen around the room.
“Wait,” June said suddenly, shattering their silence with a word. “No, wait. That’s not what I would do. I know it’s not. It’s not.” Her eyes had turned silver with moisture.
“What do you mean? What would you do?” Melanie asked.
“I’d go back to the night Elwood got into that car,” June continued, emotion thick in her voice. “Of course I would. And I wouldkeep him and Ruthie from getting into it even if I had to slash all four tires.”
“Ah,” Melanie said thoughtfully. “For love. Elwood loved Ruthie. And you loved him. You’d use the time machine because of love.”
Two shining tears tracked down June’s cheeks and she did not palm them away. She smiled. “Is there really any other reason?”
An hour later June’s car was packed with food for the Palm Springs bungalow—including everything for a ham dinner June would cook and eat alone that afternoon, as well as Elwood’s suitcase of clothes, his pipe, and a few of his books.
Before loading the car, June had taken out to the backyard the handgun that Elwood had long kept under his mattress in case of a home burglary, burying it deep in the farthest edge of the rose garden so that when Max or the police asked her if Elwood owned a gun and she answered yes, she could announce in all truthfulness—after pretending to check—that it was missing.
“You’re sure this is how you want to do this?” Melanie asked as June got into the car to leave.
June did not answer.
“What else can she do?” Eva said to Melanie as the two of them stood in the driveway next to the car.
When Melanie said nothing in response, June looked up at her through the open driver’s-side window. “I’ll be home by six. Bring Nicky over anytime after that.”
