“What do you think it means, that it’s blinking like that?” Alice asked.
Madeline shrugged. “Not sure I want to know. I don’t imagine you’ll just let it be?”
Alice gently nudged the old woman. “Just admit it, this is the most fun you’ve had in years.”
“That says more about the years past than about now.”
When they boarded the boat to San Miguel, Madeline insisted on sitting inside, claiming she did not want the sea air to upset her carefully coiffed hair. The boat backed away from the dock and began its journey into open waters, which quickly grew rough. Madeline clutched both sides of her seat as the boat thudded against the solid water, her face paling.
“It might help to get some fresh air,” Alice pointed toward the stairs leading to the open deck above them.
Madeline nodded and latched onto Alice’s arm. Unsteadily they made their way to the stairs and up to the main deck, where Madeline fell into an open seat. Alice rubbed her back as she watched dolphins arc above the waves, then dive below. At least a dozen dolphins swam beside the boat. Each time one appeared above the water, Alice was caught by surprise. It was magical, how the ocean hid all this life.
When they stepped off the gangway onto the thin strip of beach, Madeline looked up at the steep sandy bluffs above them. The austere beauty washed over her. When she looked at Alice, her face was radiant. Though she would never admit it, Madeline was excited to be here.
They followed a small crowd toward the highlands, the other hikers speeding up to claim the best campsites. The dry brush greened and thickened as they went. They didn’t see the ranger’s station until they were almost upon it. It was a redwood ranch house that blended into the hills surrounding it. Outside, a pale blond woman in a ranger’s uniform sat writing in a notebook. When she looked up, she smiled and said, “Madeline.”
They waited at a splintering picnic table while Ingrid disappeared inside to retrieve a French press and three speckled camping mugs.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she said as she poured them each a cup of strong coffee.
“How did you find me?”
Madeline motioned to Alice. “This one here fancies herself an internet sleuth.”
“It didn’t take sleuthing,” Alice said. “Unless you consider Google some sort of underground resource.”
“I find the whole thing invasive,” Madeline said, sipping from the tin mug.
“Well,” Ingrid said, “however it happened, I’m glad you’re here. I think about you more than you know.”
“And how is Mel?” Madeline asked. “You two must have a gaggle of babies by now.”
“Mel might have a few babies. I wouldn’t know.”
“May I ask what happened?” Madeline delicately inquired.
Ingrid shrugged. “It ran its course. We were together—” her eyes drifted to the cloudless sky “—ten months maybe? It was so long ago. And there have been so many since.” She glanced at her watch and stood. “Care to accompany me to the grounds? You wouldn’t believe some of the fire hazards people bring to the island. It’s like they want to burn it all down.”
Madeline and Alice followed Ingrid down a path to where the shrubbery opened into a small field. A group of church kids were playing soccer while their chaperones set up a lunch station.
“So it just ended?” Alice asked the back of Ingrid’s head.
Ingrid could not see who had spoken. “Oh, Madeline,” she said, “it was perfect. More perfect than the relationship I assumed I wanted. Before Mel, everything ended in explosives. I was all fireworks and stomach acid. I never even stopped to consider whether I liked the guy, I just was so outraged that it was over. With Mel, one day we both knew that we’d gotten whatever we needed from each other and underneath that need there wasn’t any love to keep us going. The magic just faded. It was magical, for a time, but its time was up. Afterward, I felt betrayed, to be honest, that you brought me someone whose love didn’t last. Then I realized that wasn’t what I needed from you. You gave me something more. I’ve been with so many other men, and whether it’s a month or a year, when it’s over, it’s over. No fanfare. No fighting. It’s glorious.”
“Really?” Alice asked. How could a relationship that inspired nothing when it ended be worth anything?
“Listen, it’s not going to work out with most people. When it comes to the long term, so few people are suited to be together. That’s the simple truth of it.” They wove between campsites where couples were pitching tents and groups of friends were laying out food. “The more energy you exhaust on someone who isn’t right for you,” Ingrid continued, “the less you have for the person who is.” Her eyes caught Alice’s; it was the first time she’d really looked at her, the comment directed at the young woman instead of the old. “You should date people who are wrong for you. It helps you realize what you don’t want, which makes it easier to discover what you do want. And it’s a reminder that a breakup won’t break you. If you embrace the end instead of making it into something ugly or angry, then you can learn from it. If you’re angry, you can’t see anything else.”
A man jogged up to Ingrid and asked her where he could find potable water. She pointed him in the direction of the facilities. The campsites were full of couples, both on their own and in groups. Statistically, half of these couples were destined to fail, even if it was hard to see that now as they laughed, working together to light fires and pitch tents, all happy memories being constructed. If or when these relationships ended, stained with anger or hurt, what would happen to these memories?
After Ingrid made the rounds, they took the long way back to the station, hiking along the bluffs. The bay looked calm below. The ferry had disappeared beyond the horizon, and the empty dock bobbed with the waves invisible from so far above. They were trapped on the island until the next boat docked. Everyone here was.
“Why did you want to become a ranger?” Alice shouted over the wind as she took big strides to keep up with Ingrid. Her hair was swirling around her face, and she kept having to pull strands from her mouth.
Ingrid turned around but kept walking. She looked as if she was floating, stepping backward with her hair electrified around her.
“Mel, actually. He took me here once. I’d never seen anything like it. I was immediately taken. I started volunteering, completed my ranger’s certification, and, when a position opened, I made sure I got it.” She stopped walking, and Alice nearly bumped into her. Madeline, trailing behind, was walking with her head down, communing with the grass instead of Ingrid and Alice.
