The ship makes a humming noise, a deep sound that gets all the way through to the marrow in my bones. Then it sort of… blorps. Like a bubble bursting in water.
We’re no longer in the same space. There are different suns, and there’s a very pretty purple nebula in the distance.
“Are we clear?” Boss rumbles the question.
“I believe so. We’ve jumped three lightyears. They might pick up our signature if we approach occupied space, but I’d say we’re remote enough that they won’t be able to find us in the short term.”
All three of them turn to me. I scream with laughter, because it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever experienced. These men are all so hot in their various alien ways, and they are all so mad, too.
“What is wrong with you?” Kronos demands. “Why are you laughing? Do you understand how close you just were to killing us all?”
I try very hard not to laugh. I fail.
“Sorry,” I explain. “When I thought I was going to die, I had a pill.”
“What kind of pill?”
“Pure neurotransmitters, straight to the dome,” I giggle. “I have more, if you guys want some. Feels to me like you need some.”
“Show me,” Kronos says, extending his hand. I pull a baggie and drop it in his palm.
“I don’t know if your brains will respond to any of these, but you could try,” I suggest.
“We are certainly not going to try,” Sharp says.
“I’d give it a go,” Boss responds.
“Yes! Give it a go! Find out what real happiness is. The kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on circumstances or achieving anything, or being loved, or any kind of external reward. Feel true internal happiness, manufactured by the stimulation of your reward centers!”
I give the little spiel without thinking. When I signed up to sell the pills, I had a sort of underground sales training first. They taught us how to shank the competition, flee from law enforcement, and tell people how taking the drug is actuallygood for them even though long term it completely deranges the mind.
Kronos’ jaw tightens. He hasn’t bought my little patter. I see his hand contract roughly, crushing the bag. The pills will be all mixed up together. That’s okay. You can snort the dust. Micro-dosing happiness is more natural anyway.
“She’s out of her mind,” Kronos says to the others. “She’s on drugs. Our sweet little pet is a junkie. We’ve failed her.”
“No, we haven’t,” Boss says. “Humans do this. If you put a human within a mile of a hallucinogenic substance, they’ll have snorted everything between them and it. They love this. It’s what they are.”
“Well I don’t intend to accept that,” Sharp says sternly. “I have standards, and she is going to…”
Boom!
The ship rocks again, and I burst out laughing.
“They found us?” Boss asks.
“No. Different hostile actors,” Sharp says. “The universe has gone to hell. One moment.”
The ship rocks and sways as Sharp takes the helm and pilots us through a series of maneuvers I first take to be evasive in nature. Kronos and Boss take two other consoles, and pretty lights start to emanate from the ship. I can see them through the main screen, which provides a view of the space around the bridge almost three hundred and sixty degrees.
It’s pretty. It’s really pretty. My mind is still awash in fun chemicals and things, so I’m not worried. I’m appreciating this all, like art.
“Harvesters?” Boss asks the question in a short, sharp tone.
“Harvesters,” Sharp confirms.
“Harvesters!” Boss roars and somehow manages to be even more aggressive with the weapons fire. I watch as they light the attacking ships up with what have to be high-powered energy rounds.
They fight the attackers off while I start to doze. The pill is beginning to wear off. The half-life of these things is pretty bad, designed to last a few songs and then require another purchase. I feel sleepy now, but I know I’m going to feel absolutely rancid in the next twelve hours or so. I’d never take one of these pills unless I thought I was going to be dead before the hangover kicked in. My best hope is to go to sleep long enough to get the worst of it over and done before I open my eyes again.
