“No to spilling blood this early in the night,” I conclude.
Laurie takes a small—and therefore appropriate—sip of her drink before muttering, “You’re no fun anymore.”
With that we move over to the other women who’ve made small pockets of conversation.A Kate Hudson blonde in a cute pink knit dress spots us heading toward the mingling area and greets us with a smile, angling her body out so we can join her and her friend—aka anormalway to react to a stranger at a social event.Laurie and I slip into the fold, nursing our drinks as we make introductions.
“I’m Colette,” she says warmly, and I’m glad she does.Even with the surreptitious glance at her name tag, I can’t decipher the loose, loopy cursive she’s used to fill the white space of the sticker.I do spot a heart after what I now know is an “e,” but that’s about it.
“Dani,” the woman next to her says, playing with the ends of her light brown, mid-nineties Meg Ryan pixie cut like it’s new, before catching herself and smoothing down her name tag instead.Her name is written in neat block letters with a cute, simple smiley face taking up the final third of the space.
I compliment Dani on her blue dress, she says she likes my hair.Colette asks how Laurie and I know each other, and we find out they both came alone but buddied up when they arrived at the same time.That’s all it takes.
Maintaining the flow of the conversation is easy and our circle of four slowly starts to expand.First to join us is the brunette with the blowout—Jennifer—who pauses next to me on her way back from the bar.Her hand comes up in a “wait” gesture that puts me on the defensive for a second before she states, “Can I just say, Iloveyour dress!”
The comment warrants an earnest thank-you from me and a smug “told you so” look from Laurie before Colette continues talking about how she can’t keep a succulent alive.That lures in a new arrival, a dark-skinned woman named Nia, who chimes in with, “I’m going to change your life with two words: ‘soil drainage.’?”
After that, different exclamations like “That’s because she’s a Pisces stellium,” “It’s just rebranded populism,” and “Me too!But my doctor told me to just go back on the pill” act as a siren call to the other women in the room.By the time the last woman arrives, the boundaries of our groups have bled into one another until we’re justone big circle of voices juggling way too many topics that get louder as we move onto our second and third drinks of the evening.
Marion has to clap her hands together, calling out a few “Ladies!”to garner our attention when it gets closer to eight.Not that I’d know what time it is.It’s not like clocks are high on the list of necessities when it comes to outfitting a club, and not for the first time since we’ve been here, I find myself looking around for my purse when I forget it’s locked in a box upstairs.
“I’m sure you’ve all been sharing what kind of man you’d love to meet tonight!”Marion croons when we quiet down, shooting a wink at no one in particular as we stand shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the room.
In the last hour, I’ve had conversations ranging from appropriate indoor plant care to book recommendations.At no point did the conversation turn to the reason why we’reactuallyhere.
As if she can read my mind, Laurie muses out the corner of her mouth, “We were supposed to be talking about the men?”
I can’t help the sound of amusement that leaves my lips before I press them tightly together on a warning look from Marion.
“Tonight, you ladies will stay at your designated table and the gentlemen will rotate between you.Each of your ten dates will run for ten minutes, and a bell”—she turns to a silver call bell on the table next to her and taps it—“will ring when it’s time for them to move on.Once you get to your table, you will see match cards for you to keep track of your suitors.I will provide each of the men with one of their own when they join us.The names are already there in the correct order for each of you, but everyone has name stickers, so you won’t have to refer to the cards during your date.Please refrain from filling in the card untilafteryour date has left the table.We don’t want anyone’s feelings getting hurt.There will be a fifteen-minute bathroom and bar break after your fifth date at the halfway point, and we welcome youto stay for half an hour of mingling after the final date.At the end of the evening, I will collect your cards and contact you tomorrow with any compatible matches.Who knows?”She performs that same shoulder raise from before and says conspiratorially, “Tonight, you could find yourperfectmatch.”
I hazard a look at Laurie, who merely performs a brief eye narrow before cutting an amused glance my way.I have to look away from her so I don’t make another sound that will gain Marion’s ire.
It’s not that serious.This night, these dates.
Laurie was the one who wanted us to come tonight as part of our pact, but the chances of either of us meeting the love of our life over the next few hours are slim to none.So that’s why we haven’t been theorizing about the dates.It’s why I’m mentally debating whether to stick to the plan of having gyros after this or trying out the new Korean place a few blocks from our apartment.I’m not thinking about whether one of the men I meet tonight is going to turn out to be my “Oh, it’syou” person.
Marion wraps up her talk with table assignments, directions to the bathrooms on both the basement and first levels, and encouragement to freshen our drinks while she goes upstairs to retrieve the men.When everyone gravitates toward the bar, Laurie bumps her hip into mine.
“What’s on your mind?”
It’s only right that I’m honest.“What we’re going to eat after this.”
“Gyros, obviously.”Then a look crosses her face that she usually reserves for when she’s choosing between a boring documentary on wind turbines or an equally boring documentary on hydroelectric turbines.“Halloumi… or fried eggplant if they have it.”
“I’m gonna need meat,” I reply distractedly as I watch Marion dart out of the room, calling over her shoulder that everyone should start making their way to their designated table.Mine’s on the left side of the room, in the middle of the bracket, and Laurie’s is directly acrossfrom mine on the other side.The men will zigzag between the tables, so my dates will move from me to her.At the very least, I can give her a warning look if anyone gives off the wrong vibes.
“You’re gonnaneedmeat, huh?”
A snort draws my attention back to Laurie.A smirk starts to spread slowly across her face, dark eyebrow arching upward, but before she can open her mouth to say something particularly heinous, I warn, “Laurie—”
“I was just going to say it’s cute you’re anemic.”
I can’t help but chuckle.For all her educational achievements and her penchant for dull documentaries, my girl’s got a dirty mind.And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“You were gonna make a dick joke.”
“Yeah.”She nods solemnly.“Yeah, I was.”
“You going to showcase that same humor on your dates tonight?”I ask, moving up to a free spot and ordering two espresso martinis from the new bartender who’s joined his hot-nerd friend.I’m guessing he was originally up on the mezzanine with the men, and they’ll be making their way down at any moment.
