Friday, June 6th
Julia
Oh. My. God. HekilledLuna.
“Of all the irresponsible, unforgivable, unbelievable things my best friend could…” I whisper to myself as I walk across my bedroom at my parents’ house in Short Hills, New Jersey, drop my overnight bag, and come to a screeching stop near my window. My hands shake and my exhale stutters.
Ace Kelly straight up murdered my plant, and the carnage of the crime scene is laid out like an episode ofCSIright in front of me.
“Luna?” I whisper, staring in horror at the limp, drooping leaves of my once-thriving peace lily. She looks like she gave up on life a few days ago, which, incidentally, is exactly when I left her in Ace’s care. I step closer and inspect the butchery. The soil is soggy and drenched, like Ace tried to water her with the tears of every woman in the city who’s had to deal with the aftermath of dating an emotionally unavailable man, and you and I both know, that means Flood City.
I explicitly told him,“Only a little water every day. She’s very particular and only likes to be misted,”and he straight up waterboarded her like he was trying to get state secrets.
Oh boy, did she ever break.
My poor Luna.She’s been my go-to gal since I started my freshman year at Dickson University last fall. She was my study buddy for midterms and finals. She was my emotional support plant during Scottie’s tragic cheerleading injury. And when I had to move outof the dorms in May, I brought her home to my parents’ house, my intention to spend the rest of my college career with her.
And now, she’s dead.
Damn you, Ace Kelly, you direction-avoidant moron.
I yank my phone out of the Chanel purse Ace’s mom gave me for my sixteenth birthday and send a text to the offender himself, the heat of my anger shooting from my chest to my fingers. It’d probably be more dramatic if I called, but my generation doesn’t do that.
Me: Where are you?
Because of my innocuous words, he misses the angry text memo.
Ace: Damn Jules thank fuck you’re finally home from the Catskills feels like you’ve been gone forever but good news already omw to your parents’ place
Having been gone with my parents for the last few days, I’d normally be worried about getting together to download all the tea I’ve missed and to hear stories of the antics Ace has gotten into without me, but this isn’t any normal welcome home. This came with a housewarming gift from my nightmares.
Me: You’d better turn around right now, then. You killed Luna!
Ace: What are you talking about? Gary can’t turn around I’m on the bridge
Me: My PLANT, Ace. The PEACE LILY I trusted you with. She’s DEAD
Ace: Oh yesterday She was looking kinda dry So I gave her a top off or 2. Did she not like that
Ace makes a job out of not using proper grammar or punctuation when he texts me, and at first, I tried to fix it—which was botha thankless and fruitless endeavor. Now, I find it endearing because it’s weirdly him—like he gets too excited to think it all the way through before hitting send. But today, it’s annoying again. Maybe one day, when he has to get an actual job, he’ll introduce himself to more than the occasional comma and period, but for now, they are rare acquaintances and almost never used correctly.
Me: TOP OFF OR TWO?? SHE’S A PLANT, NOT A TOYOTA CAMRY. I TOLD YOU NOT TO OVERWATER
I don’t hear back from him again, so I settle for cursing his name as I unpack all the stuff I brought on my trip to the Catskills with my parents and sister Evie.
Butt-munching, plant-abusing, psychopathic waterer…
It takes much longer than it should because, I swear, I amthe queenof overpacking. Only two nights at our getaway cabin that already has everything I need, and I still managed to drag an extra fifteen pairs of underwear and four entire outfits that never saw the light of day.
By the time I have everything put away, there’s a knock on my bedroom door, and despite my better judgment, I answer it.
Ace, slightly out of breath and holding a Whole Foods bag in his hand, stands on the other side of the threshold.
I cross my arms. “Well, look who it is. Themurderer.”
“I’m sorry, Julia. And before you yell,” Ace says, “I come bearing peace. And possibly Luna 2.0.”
“Youkilledmy baby,” I seethe.
