Big money. Big hearts. Big trouble.That’s the Kelly family in a nutshell. But hey, at least it means we always have bail money.
Ace
I swear, I tried to keep it cool. I really did. But when Julia asked me to stop texting her and reminded me she was on a date, I panicked. I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing while she’s across town eating garlic breadsticks with Drewchebag.
Now, my palms are sweating, and my shorts are clinging to my thighs, and when I hang up the phone, the guilt of what I’ve just created almost chokes me alive.
Good Lord, what have I done?
I’ve just made her abandon her date because I’m a jealous little fuckboy.
My chest grows tight, and the rubber band of injustice snaps me in the dick.
I pace the room like a caged animal, dragging my hands aggressively through my hair. If I made her leave that date for anything short of Armageddon, I can kiss my chances of making her love me goodbye. I’ve got to mobilize. I’ve got to improvise.
And I’d better do it fucking quick.
I transition from an aimless march to an all-out sprint out of my bedroom. I’ve just insisted she come home to help me with the party that Gunnar is throwing, and there’s no party. There’s no anything but me with my dick in my hand.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Upon arrival to Gunnar’s room, I’m disappointed to find him doing nothing other than lounging on his beanbag chair, some sort of fucking documentary playing on the TV at a neutral volume.
There’s no fire. No belly dancers. There’s not even a vape pen.
I’m in big,bigtrouble here.
“What are you doing?” I shout, and Gunnar looks up at me in confusion.
“Uh…” Gunnar shrugs. “Watching the making of the International Space Station.”
“You’re fucking kidding me!”
Gunnar’s brows draw together. He’s obviously not kidding me, but of all the times for him to act like he’s not the biggest menace to society on Planet Earth, he picks tonight. This is the kid who egged the governor’s mansion on his school trip to Albany, for Pete’s sake.
“Okay, fine. You’re not kidding. You’ve gone through a metamorphosis from you to a…vegetable. But I need you to do something. Anything but this.”
“I’m not following, bro.” He’s detached. Uninterested. Making my fucking heart burn.
“Can you, like, I don’t know…light something on fire…steal a car…throw a party? Be you, for fuck’s sake!”
“You want me to throw a party? Like, right now?” He mutes the TV and turns himself in his chair to face me fully. I don’t like the look in his eye, but I got off the phone with Julia at least two minutes ago, so I don’t really have the room to start thinking through how bad of an idea this could benow.
The train is in motion, and baby, it ain’t stopping.
“Yeah.”
Gunnar shrugs and gets out his phone, scrolling so calmly my balls shrivel into my body. He’s either going full sociopath or fucking me over by being the most normal he’s ever been, and right now—I can’t believe I’m saying this—I need it to be the latter. I need him to be less contained. Pronto.
“What are you doing? Now isn’t the time to play fucking Pokémon Go, bro.”
He sighs. “In order to have a party, I need to invite people.”
“Oh. Hitting up the group chat?”
Gunnar snorts. “I invited the whole contact list, excluding Mom and Dad.”
“Youwhat?”
