Lexi Winslow is the daughter of my parents’ other best friends, Wes and Winnie Lancaster. She’s twenty-six, finishing up her second doctorate degree at Dickson, and quite literally the most brilliant human being you’ll ever meet.
She’s not just smart. She’s the smartest person in the room, always. So I can understand why Evie is freaking out, but I still have a hard time believing that our father has sent dick pics. Ever.
“Evie, come on.” I shake my head. “This is Kline Brooks we’retalking about, for Pete’s sake. He doesn’t do dick pics. He doesn’t do scandal. He does socks with sandals.”
“You’re wrong, Julia,” she refutes and starts typing something on her phone. “Just look at the website. Look at the photos before you make any assumptions.”
“Look at the dick pic photos?” I say on a disgusted laugh. “No way. You can leave now.”
“Just look at the photos!” she exclaims and starts moving toward me with her phone held out.
“I said no, Evie!” Immediately, I cover my eyes. “I am not looking at dick pics some high schooler is claiming our father sent!”
“Just look at them!” She’s all up in my personal space right now, trying to tug my hand away from my eyes. “Don’t be such a prude!”
“Don’t be a prude?” I retort on a screech. “Evie, this isn’t me being a prude. This is me protecting my freaking sanity!”
“Just look at them and tell me if it’s Dad’s dick!”
“Oh my God, Evie!” I shout and push her hands away from my face as I back up so far that my ass bumps into the glass shower wall. “Have you lost your ever-loving mind? Like I’m going to be able to pick our father’s dick out of a lineup? Fucking gross, Evie! And I highly doubt whatever photos Big Boob McGee put on that website are real!”
She finally drops her phone to her side, and I breathe out a sigh of relief.
“Are you done, you psychopath?”
“Not even close. Even thoughyou—” she glares at me “—won’t help me figure this out, I still have investigating to do.”
“Well, good luck with that.” I let out a deep exhale and point my index finger toward the door. “I have to get in the shower, pronto. Ace is on his way to pick me up now.”
“Of course,” she whines. “Summer plans with the dude you literally spend all your dang time with are so much more important than the internet downfall of our father.”
“Evie, you’re being dramatic. I assure you. Nothing, and I meannothing, on the internet will be the downfall of our father. He’s Mr. Do-Right. He’s not a PR nightmare. He’s the PR manager.”
“Something tells me you won’t be saying that when his face is plastered all over everything—”
“Girls, are you in here?” our mom calls, her footsteps just outside the bathroom door.
“Don’t you dare tell her about this,” I whisper and put a finger to my lips to shut my sister up and open the door. “Why, yes, we are. Apparently, we’re due for a family meeting, and everyone decided my shower time was the most convenient. Where’s Dad? Is he on his way?”
“Did someone say Dad?” my dad asks then, just a few footsteps behind my mom and turning my bathroom into a full-blown clown car.
I swear, if my grandparents show up, I’m calling the police.
I shove through Evie and over to the shower, shutting off the water and crossing my arms over my chest. “I guess the shower can wait.”
My dad laughs, slinging his arm around my mom’s shoulders. “It’s so tough living in these conditions.”
I roll my eyes as my mom purses her lips, expecting some big, dramatic reaction from me. But she’s not going to get it. There’s no point anyway.
I sigh. “So, what can I do for everyone?”
“Mom, Dad, how did you guys meet again?” Evie asks instead of giving them a chance to speak. “Were you friends first?” Her eyebrows draw together as she hops up on my bathroom counter and continues. “I know you worked together, but who made the first move? What was the power dynamic? Did HR get involved? Sexual harassment, perhaps?”
“What?”My mom’s shocked laugh is high-pitched and awkward. “What are you getting at, Evie? Where are all these questions coming from? And sexual harassment?!”
“It’s fine,” my dad says, his unshakable calm practically palpablein the bathroom full of fluctuating female hormones. “Yes, I was your mother’s boss, so I suppose there was a bit of a power dynamic, but there was no HR involvement and everything that happened between us was consensual.”
“TMI,” I mutter under my breath, making my mom blush and smack my dad in the chest while he laughs.
