“About all the boobs you’ve seen before,” I told him honestly, my throat clogging up in anger I had no right to feel.
He glanced up quicker than I thought was possible, his mouth tight at the corners in a frown.
“I know I don’t have a right to say anything about things that happened before we met, but it’s a little hard for me. If something isn’t to par, think about my scissor kick. I’ve heard some guys tell me it’s boner-worthy,” I offered with a smile.
The frown on his face melted right off. “Sal.”
“I’m just kidding. Mostly.” I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. What was I doing? I needed to tell him the truth.
With a sigh, I stood up and pulled my bra on.
Fingers touched my lower back. “What’s wrong?”
What was wrong? Bah. Why hadn’t I told him yet? He needed to know. It made me feel like a fake after everything that had happened. “I need to tell you something.”
“What?”
I started to reach for my shirt when he swung his legs off the couch and stopped me with a hand to my arm.
Sitting up straight, I tucked my hands between my thighs, elbows tight to my sides, and focused my gaze on my knees. I tried to think of the words I’d planned since my dad had accused me of being a chicken. Not sounding like a stalker was a lot harder than it seemed, especially when I could still taste him in my mouth.
What if?—
No what-ifs. I just needed to do it. I really did.
“I used to have a huge crush on you when I was a kid,” I started, warming him up. “Up until I was about seventeen, there were posters of you all over my room.” In for a penny, in for a pound. All right. I could do this. Honesty mattered. “I was in love with you. I told everyone I was going to marry you someday. You were my idol, Rey. I kept playing soccer because of you.”
I rubbed my hand over my eyebrow, still keeping my gaze forward on the coffee table. It wasn’t like I was telling him something crazy. Every girl I’d ever known had crushed on a celebrity at some point, but… I’d just had his penis in my mouth. I should have told him earlier. I should have told him a long time ago.
Pressing down on my eyebrow, I kept going. “I should have told you before, but I didn’t want to. It took me long enough to talk to you, and by the time I could do it like a normal person and not like a fangirl, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want you to look at me differently. Idon’twant you to. I’m sorry. It was a long time ago, and I’d been just a kid back then.”
There was silence. Total silence.
And I thought to myself,thisisover.Our friendship was done. Any hope I had of… well, that was done with too. But what could I do? Nothing. I couldn’t take it back. When I was a kid, I had no idea I’d ever meet Reiner Kulti, much less become friends with him. I definitely had no idea that I would ever fall in love with the human version of him, the real man. Unfortunately, you can’t turn back time and change the past.
Then again, would I want to? I’d gotten to where I was because I’d idolized him, because I had wanted to be him. What the hell else would I be doing if it hadn’t been for him and that damn Altus Cup when I was seven?
Goose bumps rose up on my arms as I sat straight and lunged for my shirt again, pulling it on as the German shifted in his seat right next to me.
I had just tugged it down over my stomach when he shoved his cell phone into my hand with a single order. “Look.”
Big girl socks on, I cast a single glance at his face, but he had that same blank expression, the cool one. I looked down at what he was showing me on the screen. It was a picture of something.
“Take a closer look.”
I took the phone from him and brought it up to my face, enlarging the image to see what he wanted to show me. It was a picture of a picture. Well, of a drawing to be exact. It was an orange sheet of construction paper with big, black words written in a little kid’s handwriting.
Wait a second.
I looked even closer, blowing up the image more. It was the little kid version of my handwriting.
Dear Mr. Kulti,
You are my favorite player. I play soccer 2 butt I’m not good like you are. Not yet. I practice all the time so 1 day I can be just like you or beter. I watch all of ur games so don’t mess up.
Ur #1 fan, Sal
<3 <3 <3
