No.
No.
They’d burned the trailer down? All my things?
There weren’t a ton of them, but they were mine, and each one mattered.
My past and my present.
I wanted to ask if he was sure, but of course he fucking was. He was sarcastic, bossy, and secretive, but he didn’t hide being all those things. There was no reason he would make it up.
Everything was gone?
The place that had been my home for years. The remainder of my grandparents’ belongings and our memories together. It was all… it was all….
Oh God, I had nothing left.
Nothing.
Not my cell phone, which had precious voice mails. Not an old blanket. Not the few family heirlooms that we had made room for no matter how little space there was in the car.
Nothing.
This was all because I hadn’t fucking left when I should have.
My mouth filled with saliva, and those tears I’d been trying to keep control of poured out in the span of an exhale.
I slapped a hand over my mouth at the same time I drew my legs up and slouched forward, ignoring just how bad that hurt me everywhere.
Tears gushed over my fingers.
My home was gone.
Everything was fuckinggone.
“Why are you crying?” the deep voice demanded from beyond my knees. “The house was small and smelled funny.”
I cried. I cried harder than I’d thought I was capable of.
“I lost everything,” I told him, my voice cracking. I mopped at my face with my wrist before even more came out. Losing my grandparents’ things hurt worse than my own. My grandma’s tablecloth. My grandpa’s watch.
My hands shook.
A wail built up in my throat, and I clung to it for dear life. Threw a fucking lasso around it and gripped the end like I would get stomped to death if I didn’t get it under control. It was stuff, yes, but….
“You still… have your life,” The Defender said.
It didn’t help. He was right, sure, but it didn’t make me feel any better.
“Materialistic belongings don’t mean anything.”
I swallowed so, so hard.
He tried a different angle. “Could you… quit crying?”
I wiped at my eyes even harder.
“Anyone ever told you… that you cry ugly?” he fucking asked.
