I’d spent my whole life trying not to do anything so that I wouldn’t bring attention to myself.
On the slimmest of slim chances that I made it out the door and managed to get away, did I really think he wouldn’t eventually hunt me down? Because by trying not to be suspicious, I’d made myself more. Fucking great.
My feet stayed rooted exactly where they were, and it took everything in me to release the breath I was holding. He was onto too much. My voice wobbled, and I could hear how thin it sounded—nervous, I was nervous—but there was nothing to be scared of. And before I ran out of guts, I blurted out another slice of truth. “Hiding is averystrong word.”
Not a single thing changed about his sharp features. His voice was deceptively steady as he asked in a mocking voice, the sarcastic son of a bitch, “Is it?”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah. I would rather not be found. That’s not the same as hiding, if you want to get technical.”
Those purple eyes were intense, and for one second, they glowed bright before dimming back to normal.
I pressed my lips together, and before he could ask something else, I rushed to change the subject and went with the first thing I could think of. “So… while we’re on the topic of personal questions… do you know who or what did that to you? Because I’ve been losing sleep thinking about having my limbs rendered, as you called it, and I’m paranoid something is going to happen to me every time I go for a run.”
The soft sound he made through his nose made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Every time I got close to him, I’d noticed how he made my skin feel, and if I was beside him for too long, it made the rest of me feel weird too, but not in a bad way. But this? It was different.
And that was the wrong thing to fucking ask from how deep his growl had come out. Only he could have questions. Glad we had that sorted.
“Okay, we don’t need to talk about that,” I muttered under my breath.
I needed to stop asking questions. Stick to business. Dammit, Iknewthat. But he was talking more than before, and even though I wasn’t sure how I felt about his sparkling personality, he was still someone in my presence, still someone I could talk to, and here we were.
I side-eyed him. “You know what? I’m going to go check my mailbox before it gets any later.” I’d decided not to go for a run since he was awake. The last thing I needed was for him to fall and get hurt. Then he’d be here for longer. Neither one of us needed that. “If you can feed yourself, I’ll leave your plate on the table right here. If not, I’ll be right back,” I told him before consciously walking toward the front door as calmly as possible and not like I was on the verge of throwing up from Mr. Observant over here.
Was I that obvious? Or did he pay that much attention? At this point, I was 99 percent sure he couldn’t read minds.
On the other hand, maybe he was playing the long game and fooling me intothinkinghe couldn’t.
I side-eyed him again.
He didn’t say shit, but I could feel his gaze follow me out of the kitchen and through the living room. It wasn’t until I was through the door, down the stairs, and halfway across the driveway that I happened to glance back toward the house.
The Defender was on the top step. His head was tossed slightly back, and a beam of moonlight brushed his perfect face. He almost looked like an angel.
An angel of death with that personality but an angel.
One who needed to get better so he could leave sooner than later, because I really did have to go.
But Iwasgoing to miss this place.
These five acres of land had kept me busy enough so that I didn’t have a lot of time to sit around; that would have made me go crazy. There were thistles I had to dig out, a garden I’d taught myself how to care for, and countless little things that always needed to be worked on. I’d been at peace here.
After losing my grandparents, I had finished our rental agreement in Texas before I’d moved here; my grandma and I had picked it in advance. There had been a movie filmed close by, and that was how I had learned about it in the first place. It had fit all the criteria for every other location we’d ever stayed, so why not? We’d lived in New Mexico before, and it had been just fine, hot as balls and all.
Even though it had felt like cheating—living on without them—things had been okay. Hard but okay. The world had become bigger and smaller at the same time without their presence. I hadn’t known what to do with myself, not having them to care for after so many years.
It had been the first time in my whole life I could almost do what I wanted. For so long, I had tried to be the person they wanted and needed me to be. I had followed most of their tight rules, rarely rebelling because I couldn’t bear to talk back to them and hurt their feelings. I’d almost always done what I was told to because it was for the greater good.
And as much as I would have traded all of it to have them back, I had chugged along.
Loneliness was a hemorrhoid you couldn’t see but could always feel was there.
Now, I was overwhelmed with the future, for the uncertainty, but I was still here, and I had enough work to pay my bills, and maybe, just maybe my situation would change. I had to hold on to that hope. I’d seen the news, even though I’d changed the channel as fast as possible.
I was going to do my best, and that meant I had to keep helping the fool who was clutching the post for dear life as he struggled to stand, all so he could soak up some moonlight.
He looked…almosthappy.
Tenderness and what I was pretty sure was a protective instinct tickled me right between the shoulder blades.
