I held my breath and tried not to sound deranged. “Yeah?”
“You good?” Alex asked from what was definitely the other side of the bathroom door.
Slowly, I lowered myself to sit on the edge of the tub and squeezed my kneecaps. “I’m great.”
There was a pause. “I can hear your heart, liar. We already went over this,” he huffed.
Dammit.
“You’re fine. Nothing’s going to happen to you here,” The Defender assured me steadily.
I was fine. He was right. How much safer could I get than being in his home? I couldn’t even let my blood pressure go up without him sensing it. Why did that make me feel so much better too? “Yeah, you’re right,” I agreed, squeezing my kneecaps again. “I forgot.”
He didn’t say anything for so long that I thought he’d left the room, but suddenly he said, “I don’t want to smell your tears.”
It hurt, but I snorted. “Then hold your breath.”
Did he laugh? I think he might have. “Need me to sit out here until you’re done?”
I was starting to think he might be the nicest rude person in the world. I let go of my knees. “It’s okay. I was going to take a bath if that’s all right. I won’t fill up the tub or anything.”
“Do whatever you want.” There was another pause. “You’re safe though.”
I was safe, he’d said, and even though I hadn’t relied on anyone or trusted anyone other than my grandparents, it was hard not to listen to him and that bossy-ass superhero voice he wielded too perfectly for someone who never talked in public.
“Gracie, say it.”
I sighed. “Alex…ander?”
I was pretty sure I heard him sigh from the other side before he said, “You’re not saying it.”
I pretended like I didn’t hear him. “Do you think I’m ever actually going to be safe? Do you think they’ll stop looking for me someday?”
There was a thump at the door that made me wish I had X-ray vision to see through it. It sounded like he was on the other side. “I don’t want to smell your tears,” he started.
“I won’t cry.”
“You’re lying, but no, I don’t think you ever will be. If the cartel were to disband, there would still be someone who would remember.”
I couldn’t have felt any lower than I already did, at least, because I’d already known that was the case, but hearing him say it too, made it that much more real.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he told me in his Super voice, sounding so certain.
I nodded to myself. “Okay.”
“Are you going to be fine?” he asked after a long while.
I stared at my hands. “Yeah, I will.”
I’d make it that way.
My heart didn’t beat that hard while I filled the tub up halfway as I undressed. I didn’t have anything close to a panic attack as I climbed in with the hand soap dispenser either.
I was safe. I could do this.
Settling for just soaping up the important parts, I lingered in the murky water before rinsing off, using my hands as a cup to get my neck and shoulders, then doing the same for my face. I would have rather taken a shower, but I could wait a little longer for it. A creaking noise outside the bathroom door had me staring at it, but no one called out. I doubted Alex was waiting around. It was ghosts, probably.
Oh boy, with my luck it probably was.I’m just kidding.
