I swallowed and clenched the muscles in my quads to wake my leg back up. I remembered everything good in my life.
And I still didn’t want to fucking go.
I didn’t want to see anyone, not in this lifetime or the next, if I was going to be totally honest.
“Miss Allen, are you there?”
I didn’t want to see any of them. I had told myself that when I left, I never would ever again. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t.
But Grandma Genie asked. Grandma Genie who had taken care of the girls when you couldn’t. Who had called you to come for them.
I fisted my free hand and felt this horrible sense of anxiety wrap around my heart, stealing the breath right out of me.
She had asked for me specifically.
It was the least I could do.
I don’t want to go.
I didn’t want to see the biggest assholes on the planet.
But Grandma Genie….
“I’m here,” I muttered, flexing my quad muscles again. I couldn’t even stand the sound of my own voice as I replied, and I sure didn’t like the sound of it as I said, “Can you give me a second to get a piece of paper so I can write down the information?”
“Of course, Miss Allen. While you do that, I would like to inform you about a matter of an inheritance that Miss Miller endowed on you in her will. There are some forms you’ll need to fill out and return to me—”
I hated how much my hand shook as I wrote down the name and the address of the funeral home, memorizing the time for it. I let the information about inheritance go in one ear and out the other. None of that mattered to me even a little bit, especially not when I was too focused on all the rest of the news that came with Grandma Genie passing away in the first place. On what going to her funeral might mean.
I thought I was better than this. I thought I had gotten over it. I had grown up. Gotten stronger.
I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to go.I didn’t want to fucking go. Not to San Antonio. Not to anywhere near San Antonio.
Part of me wanted to believe they wouldn’t be there. Or maybe if they were, they wouldn’t have the balls to say anything to me. They picked on people they thought were weaker than them. I was older. Not tougher, but I was older and stronger.
Lily and them might be mad when I told them that I didn’t want them to go, but they’d get over it.
We had made a pact when I had picked them up and taken them back to Mr. Cooper’s house. We weren’t going backthere. We were going to start over again, together. We were going to do great.
I stared at the notes written on the work order I needed to get started on, but not remembering a single word of it because...
I didn’t want to go.
Just as quickly as that thought entered my head, another one did too.
Hell.
I had something to think about.
Chapter 5
I had madea lot of dumb decisions in my life.
A lot.
I could be honest about it, mostly because I had learned valuable lessons from each screwup in my life.
Don’t waste your time expecting people to change, and if you think you might be starting your period, don’t risk it and leave your house without a tampon.
