I didn’t want to meet any of the guys that I had. The more I thought about it, the more I accepted it.
This whole thing was a mess I didn’t know how to handle or what to think of.
Mr. Cooper had been adamant as I’d left, that regardless of what had happened between him and his son, that Rip did care about me. AndRip had been Lucas Ripley Cooper at one point. He was still in there.
But why he’d waited until now, I would never know.
Or maybe I would.
Did I want to though?
That was a stupid question. Of course I did. I wanted to know everything.
I wanted it to be true.
I wanted it to be true, but I also knew what it was like to hope and dream for things and not have them happen.
I was being a chicken. I was being a giant chicken, wasn’t I? I gave Thea hell for not telling me the truth, because it seemed so easy for me, and here I was, doing the same thing as her.
With my phone on my lap, I sent Lenny a text.
Me:Do you think I’m being a coward with this Rip thing? Tell me the truth.
Not even a minute went by before I got a response.
Lenny:Yes
Lenny:I didn’t make a chickenshit my best friend.
I ignored the guilt and nerves floating around in my stomach as I sat there, reading Lenny’s message over and over again.
There was no reason for my stomach to hurt.
Luna, Luna, Luna, my conscience seemed to whisper in disappointment.You’re lying to yourself now.
I was. I really was. I was being a coward. A chickenshit. A freaking scaredy cat.
And I was sitting in my car, about to go on a date I wanted no part of.
But…
I couldn’t find it in me to just be a no-show. Getting stood up wasn’t nice, and neither was telling some innocent personsorry, bud, I’m in love with someone else.But I could live with the latter a lot easier than the first. That was for sure. It was the least I could do. If I could have cancelled without calling Kyra, I would have, but I hadn’t had it in me to do it. The text messages we had sent each other to set up the date had been awkward and painful enough.
In and out. I’d get this over with as quickly as possible. Then I could go home and figure out exactly what I would tell Rip.I love youandplease don’t hurt medidn’t sound good enough.
It was with that decision in mind that I got out of my car and slammed it shut behind me. I flashed my license at the bouncer as a formality, because we both knew he’d seen it before. Then I headed into the bar where I had met the other guys I had gone on dates with, dates that hadn’t gone anywhere.
For a reason.
Who was I kidding? Of course it had been for a reason. Because none of them were built like wrestlers, with a dry sense of humor and a bland look better than any scowl.
Inside, I looked around the half-filled room for a guy with long black hair…
I didn’t need to glance at my phone to know I was a few minutes early. Maybe he was running late? If he was, how long was an acceptable amount of time to wait before I left? Three minutes? Five?
Spotting a table closer to the back, I beelined for it, still looking around at the crowd to make sure the man that Kyra had sent me a picture of back then wasn’t sitting in some dark corner where I couldn’t find him. He was thirty-two and worked on an oil rig. That’s why we’d had to wait a month to meet. I glanced at my phone again as I took a seat.
Sitting back in the chair, I kept looking around the room, hoping he’d magically appear so I could tell him to his face thank you but no thank you.
