Clearing my throat, I shook my head and kept my focus on his eyes, my features even. “No. Why would I be?” Did that sound as convincing as I hoped?
“You haven’t talked to me at all. Every time I look at you, you look away,” he stated so matter-of-factly I almost reeled.
And, I felt guilty all over again.
I dug deep for those lying skills I’d used so much as a kid to save Eli’s ass and gave Sacha the most honest, remorseful smile possible. “I’m sorry. Everything is fine. I’m not mad at you at all.”
Which was true, technically. I wasn’t mad at him. I was mad at myself.
“Are you sure? Because you don’t get mad very easily, and if I—”
Here he was, blaming himself. Good lord.
I’d never stood a chance, had I?
How could I not like Sacha? I wasn’t blind or deaf. He was unbelievably attractive, sweet and just plain goofy. Reminding myself why I liked him wasn’t helping the situation any.
Before he could carve a bigger chunk of attraction out of my soul, I shook my head. “You didn’t. We’re fine. I just wasn’t feeling well, and I was…” I hesitated for a split second before I figured “screw it.” Sacha said he had older sisters; it wasn’t like he didn’t know women had periods. “I was on my period.”
The fact he didn’t even blink at the p-word was impressive. All he did was nod before a small, unsure smile crossed his features. “Sure?”
I nodded.
His expression was only slightly wary. “I’m glad we’re okay, then.”
This stupid frog had crawled into my throat and all I could manage to do was nod.
Then he reached forward and tapped my elbow with his free hand, the corners of his mouth growing wider. “I’ve missed talking to you.”
Good gracious. I shook my head and in a slightly weird voice, said, “I missed talking to you too.”
“It’s been pretty boring without you,” Sacha added, the sentiment obvious by the creases at the corners of his eyes.
A small smile crossed my face, and I shrugged even as my insides went all wonky. I didn’t know why I felt so… hopeless, but I did. I wanted to absorb his words and take them to heart, but a larger part of me didn’t want that. What was the point? I filled a void as his friend. Keyword:friend.
As much as I wanted to be levelheaded about it and take what I could get, it wasn’t easy for me. My mom had always said that I took things to heart, that I felt too much. Once I got my mind set on something, if I couldn’t have it, then I didn’t want anything else to try and replace it.
Eli happened to yell my name from the living area right then, so I flashed Sacha a smile before making my way toward my twin. When I’d barely passed him, he grabbed ahold of my forearm to stop me.
“I really did miss talking to you.”
I nodded at him, not trusting the rusty, unsure words on the tip of my tongue. I needed to change the subject right then. I needed to try and be a better friend. “Let me know the next time you want to go for a run, okay?”
“You got it.”
Well, if there was one thing I knew how to be, it was someone’s friend. I could do it.
I could.
Chapter Twelve
Carterand I high-fived each other the moment we finished loading up our bins onto the dolly. Tonight had been the last show of the North American tour in Philadelphia, and we were all in a great mood. Ghost Orchid had sold close to five grand in merch, which meant I'd made five hundred dollars. I couldn’t believe it.
Something else I couldn’t wrap my head around: how much money Carter had possibly made, considering his line was usually twice as long as mine. It must have been enough that my quiet, pensive friend was grinning from ear to ear, and he’d given me three side-hugs in the time we’d torn down our setup.
Part One of the Rhythm & Chord Tour wasover.
It didn't matter that I'd been tired and restless lately, and over the last few days hornier than a virgin reading erotica since I hadn't had any privacy; I was relieved and excited that this leg of touring was complete. And I had money. I'd spent so little over the last six weeks because we really never did much. If the venue didn't cater, the money I got from buy-outs was more than enough for me to buy lunch and groceries for breakfast and dinner.
