I’ve never lived in California, but I’ve been to visit a fewtimes.
-A
P.S. I don’t know if I’ll everbelieveyou.
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From:[email protected]
Date: December 5, 2008 1:13a.m.
Subject: My Name is Ruby and I’m anIdiot
Aaron,
Well, my sister won’t be picking up guys half her age. She’s gay. Her last girlfriend she had for a few years, but she wants kids and the girlfriend didn’t. I hadn’t really liked her in the first place. She wasn’t good enough for Anatalia (my sister). Having a little sister, I’m sure you’d feel the same way about her having aboyfriend.
My oldest brother’s friends were always hitting on and checking out my mom. It was really weird and uncomfortable and more weird. I remember them always calling her a MILF and stuff behind my brother’s back. My other brother, the one in the marines, is gay and so were half his friends, so it wasn’t as bad with them. They were all busy drooling over my oldestbrother. :)
Ha! I know you had that book because my brother, Jonathan (the marine) did too. I told you I read everything. Sometimes he’d let me watch from a distance while he tried something. Sometimes I even got to suggest things hecouldtry.
Yeah, I’m only shy when I’m half naked and people are paying a lot of attention to me. I’ve had enough people pay too much attention to me for a lifetime. I’m over it. It makes me uncomfortable. Usually I dress like an eighty-year-old (those are my little sister’s words) but it’s fun to put on a costume, even if it’s a little more provocative than I’m used to. It’s fun to pretend to be something I’m not without expectations or judgments. Like during Halloween when women wear really sexy costumes but it’s totally okay because it’s Halloween, you know where I’mcomingfrom?
You had to have learned something from the time you guys were together. It couldn’t have been a total waste of time. Make a list if it makes you feel better. Everything happens for a reason,remember? :)
I told you… everyone knew I liked him. It wasn’t a secret. He knew. I made it pretty obvious sometimes. One time more than any other, but… the next day he made it seem like nothing had happened. I’m embarrassed just thinking about the things I used to say and do to him for attention, especially when I was younger. I got more discreet when I was older, but… ugh. I don’t deal with rejection well, and that’s how him not liking me seemed like back then. I know that makes me sound like a coward, but why lie to myself? Months ago, he finally started dating someone regularly. He brought her to my mom’s birthday and it looked serious. My heart broke a little (a lot) and I cried that night and for a few nights afterward—about thirty nights if you want to know the truth—but I’m glad it happened. I needed to move on with my life. He’d always dated people, but it never seemed seriousbackthen.
I’mpathetic.
I know you didn’t mean to make me feel that way. It just feels like I wasted so much time. Like you said, and then I said—no one likes to feel stupid. Then I think about how my entire family was aware of it and how they had to have known nothing would ever come of it, and that makes me feel worse. It wasn’t like there was a ton of guys knocking on my door to take my mind away either, so there’s that too. Now I’m just making excuses for being adummy.
Ohwell.
Hopeyou’reokay.
-Ruby
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From:[email protected]
Date: December 8, 2008 12:09p.m.
Subject: You’re Not AnIdiot
Ruby,
That was a plot twist I didn’t see coming. Did your brother and sister always know they were gay? Did you know? I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for your older brother having a hot mom. One of my best friend’s moms was smoking hot too. He would get so pissed anytime anyone brought her up. Of course that would only make uscommentmore.
What did he make fromthebook?
What exactly does an eighty-year-old dress like? The way I’m picturing it is you in a pink sweater and black shoes with glasses. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you, you don’t seem like you’re shy at all, “half naked” or not. You feeding mealie?
You said to make a list, so hereitis.
