She nodded, her expression focused on the bar again until her eyes flicked to mine briefly. “Want me to go with you since Prince Charming over there is busy?” sheasked.
I shook my head. “I’ll be fine, unless you wanttocome.”
“I’m saving to buy a house. I shouldn’t be doing any shopping right now. I don’t have any self-control,” sheexplained.
“Okay,” I told her a little too quickly, my smile a little too brittle as another cute laugh made its way to our mostly emptytable.
My hands were not shaking as I pulled out the approximate amount of money my bill was going to be plus tip and left it in the center of the table. I was not about to cry. No. No. No. When I forced my eyes not to blink, I reasoned that they needed some ventilation, not because I was worried one bad blink would lead me to burst outcrying.
“I’ll see you in aminutethen.”
On my feet, with my purse going over my head, I told myself not to look at the baragain.
And I failed. Like usual. Like I did at mostthings.
This time, the three men were all sitting at the counter, listening to the waitress talk openly about who knows what. And they were all smiling. Who was I to get mad about someone making Aaron happy when all I’d heard was how unusual it was for him to have those kind ofreactions?
I wanted to be jealous and petty, but Icouldn’tbe.
That was a lie. I could. But I wouldn’t letmyself.
And so, even though my hands shook and sweated, I shot Brittany another smile and wormed my way through the crowd of tourists, heading toward the door. The cool air was more than welcome on my nostrils even if it did nothing for the ugly, bitter feeling bubbling around in the pit of my stomach at the stupid image in my head of Aaron smiling and laughing at another woman. God, I was acting worse than a crazygirlfriend.
Of all the men in the world I could be nuts about, I had to be in love with the one who saw me as something I didn’t want to be. What was wrong with me? It was like I was asking for the heartbreak since I knew darn well what I was getting myself into. I did this to myself every freaking time, didn’t I? Always. Always falling for the one guy who couldn’t and didn’t see me as more than afriend.
What was wrong with me?Who kept doing this kind of crap to themselves willingly? Knowing how thiswouldend?
Way to go, I told myself.Way tofreakinggo.
No wonder. No freaking wonder I was whereIwas.
Maybe I’d been looking at this relationship business the wrong way all along. Maybe I shouldn’t expect fireworks and heart eyes straight from the beginning. Maybe falling in love or liking someone was gradual and it took a few dates.Maybe.
After all, I was listening to my mom who had been married fourtimes.
Maybe I really was expectingtoomuch.
Shoving my hands into the pockets of my shorts, I looked up and down the nearly deserted street and went left, my heart feeling so heavy it was hanging around my belly button. There was hardly anyone out and about as I speed-walked toward the shops I’d seen on the way over, literally fifty feet away from the pub’sentrance.
I’d barely made it halfway down the block when my phone vibrated against my hip, where the body of my purse was resting. Stopping on the corner, I pulled it out and forced a shaky breath out of my mouth that was immediately followed by a tear that rolled out of my eye. I wiped it before it made it far, and stared at theNEW MESSAGE AARON HALLon the screen. Swiping my finger across the screen to unlock it, I told myself the same thing I had from the moment I became aware I had feelings for him. He didn’t see me the way I wanted him to, and even if he did, did I want to be with someone who kept so much tohimself?
Not really, my head said, but my heart said itcoulddeal.
I opened themessage.
Aaron:Whereareyou?
Standing there on the street, I typed back myreply.
Ruby:Going to look forMindy.
I had possibly taken five steps forward after sending the text when my phone vibratedagain.
Aaron:What way didyougo?
I squeezed the phone in my hand and took a deep breath, reaching up to wipe at my face the second I thought I felt another tear in my eye. I was such a loser. Why was Itearingup?
Ruby:Left.
