No one I'd ever met made me feel a fraction of what he did. No one. I doubted I'd ever meet anyone who could even be half the man and friend he was to me.
Then it hit me. The thing I felt in me, that tightening sensation wasn't pain. I loved this dork. This man who loved his dog, his mom, and me.
We were so caught up in each other after he told me that he loved me that I didn't say anything back, and I felt like a complete bitch.
So, I shook his arm, hard. He grumbled over me, blinking slowly and opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish. Those sleepy, green eyes made their way to my face. "What's wrong?" he mumbled.
Maybe it was a little dramatic, but maybe it wasn't, because now I was bursting with this feeling in my body that I couldn't completely understand but that I recognized. All those tears I'd shed while he was gone filming, and that guilt I felt the two times I went out with other men— it was all for the same reason. I'd been in love with him. I was in love with him. I pressed the tip of my index finger against his nose and leaned my head toward his. "I've loved you way longer than you've loved me."
Chapter 54
Good luck and I are never on the same page. Most of the time, I don't even think we're in the same book.
I kept expecting the other shoe to drop, or whatever the saying was, and that something terrible would happen that broke me out of the state that I was in. Emotionally, I was in absolute happiness or what I would consider to be Hawaii. Easygoing, carefree happiness.
So, when my period started the day after Tristan found out about the video with Zoey, and then told me he loved me— I wasn't surprised. I braced myself for worse, like my apartment burning down, cracking a tooth, or getting a yeast infection. Any of those would have been more along the lines of what I would've expected. I may have screamed in frustration, because I was so fucking ready to pull down his boxer briefs the first chance I got, but oh well. We'd only gotten a few minutes together before I was leaving his house and trying to make it back home to grab clothes and make it to work in time.
After work, I met up with Zoey at the yoga studio we frequented. Since I had to go back to the real world and start working again, we'd gone to our fall and spring routine, which consisted of a nighttime hot yoga class and dinner afterward. As soon as she saw me walking into the studio, she screeched.
"You slut! You did it!" she announced to a, thankfully, empty yoga studio.
I looked down trying to see what in the hell could've given away the fact that I'd slept with Tristan the night before, but I didn't think my bloated stomach would have been a giveaway. Frowning, I put my index finger to my lips to get her to be quiet. "Tell the whole world, Zo," I hissed, rolling my eyes.
She did this thing that looked like a bunny hop, bouncing forward off two feet twice. "Oh. Mah. Gawd," she squealed. Her small hands went up to cup my face and pinch my cheeks. "You're walking funny," she giggled.
"I'm walking funny because I'm on my period, and I'm cramping, damn it," I muttered.
"Or because an extra large sausage stuffed your bun last night," the little bitch cackled.
I threw a hand over my face before dropping my bag and mat onto the floor. "Oh, Jesus Christ, keep it down. My dad is going to freaking hear you."
Zoey laughed even louder, enjoying my embarrassment a little too much. I had to blame it on her hanging it out with Nicole more often without me. "How was it?" she asked.
Pulling away from her, I set my yoga mat and bottles of water down alongside hers and huffed. "None of your business," I teased. She knew damn well I would end up telling her something. Only seconds later, from my spot bent over, I looked up at her excited almond shaped eyes and couldn't help but waggle my eyebrows suggestively. "Fucking awesome."
"Oh mah gawd. Oh mah gawd," she panted, plopping onto her ass. Zoey rolled onto her back and kicked her feet in the air, reminding me of Yoda when he laid in the same position. "That is like, the sickest thing I've heard all month. "
I flinched at her words. I think even my ass flinched. Then, I burst out laughing, did she just....? "Zo, please, please, please, I'm begging you, please don't ever use sickest again. Ever."
"I thought it was making a comeback," she explained, frowning.
I snorted and pinched my nose to keep from doing it again. "No, it's not. Maybe if you did wakeboarding or— never mind, please, just don't do it."
She let out a frustrated sigh before pulling her legs close to her chest. "Fine," she consented like a small, chastised child would. Only she was my small, sweet Zoey.
"He saw the video," I whispered into her ear, trying to distract her from her mopey face.
She sat up faster than lightning, straightening her back. "No way," she hissed, eyeing the women who were filtering into the room.
Zoey had always known how apprehensive I was about the video, before and especially after it was done. Although the people she sent it to had no legal right to post it without her consent, there had always been a worry in the back of my brain that someday some asshole would do it. Luckily, no one had up until then. Years later, we'd talked about whether or not I would ever tell someone I was in a relationship with about what we'd done, but I never planned on it. Until Tristan. Only Tristan, if anyone, would understand why I did it. Either way, that wasn't public knowledge I'd pass onto any man entering my life. I knew people were vengeful, and there was no way in hell I'd risk some pissed off boyfriend sending the video to my dad.
"Yes, way," I told her, sitting down onto my own mat.
"What did he say?" It made me laugh that Zoey tried to whisper but really just managed to lower the pitch of her voice.
I shrugged and pulled my feet together to stretch. For a split second I debated whether or not to tell her the three best words I'd ever heard from his mouth, but I couldn't keep that from her. I had a feeling she'd been praying for me at night, or at least crossing her fingers frequently. "He told me he loved me," I said in the quietest voice I could manage.
Zoey opened up her mouth wide, and then slapped her palm over it. Whether she was screaming or squealing, I don't know, but her face turned bright pink. She got up onto her knees and threw herself against me, tackling me onto the soft carpet floor. "Kat," she whispered into my ear. "That's amazing." Kissing my hair before scampering off, she added, "You deserve all the happiness in the world."
