"Yeah," was his simple answer.
Was he...uncomfortable? From what I could remember, his grandfather had died when he was a baby. All of his family members seemed to still be kicking, so the only thing I could come up with was that cemeteries freaked him out. There was nothing wrong with that.
But I kept my mouth shut and appreciated the gesture instead. "You can stay if you want, I won't be long," I told him,
Those dark eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You sure?"
I could see it on his face.Please be sure.
"Yeah, it's fine. Fifteen minutes tops."
It took him a second to agree but once he'd fed me a nod, I blew him a smile and started making my way toward the large tree that served as a marker to where my mom andyia-yiawere buried together.
Months had done nothing to the lush grasses or the classy tombstones that my grandmother had paid for years in advance of her death. She had never found anything ironic about planning for her passing before she was even close to the day. I found the spot almost immediately, taking in the side by side headstones beckoning me forward.
In some sweet, romantic movie, therewouldbe flowers from my dad on the grave with promises of lovethat could survive an apocalypse. Of a love thathad no value for time and no understanding of death.
But there wasn't.
Not a weed. Not a live flower. Not even a dead flower. Or an old love note.
Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Grass and more perfectly manicured grass.
To say that it was disappointing would be the understatement of the week. Then again, what did I expect from a reigning disappointment of a human being?
I should know better.
It was almost an afterthought lowering myself to my knees when I came up to my mom andyia-yia'sgrave. Sweet but incredibly bitter. How many times had I sat here in the years afteryia-yiahad died asking for her moral and mental help with Will? Dozens?
Raising a brother was hard. It had always been hard, but afteryia-yiadied, it got even more difficult. Yet, somehowwe'd found a way.
My hands brushed over the sticky green blades, feeling how closely cropped they were. Immaculate and untrodden. I suddenly wished, more than the hope of finding my dad, that I'd have either one of them around to tell me what I should do with this situation.
I wanted their guidance. Their suggestions. Their support.
And all I had was this damn grass.
I wasn't nervous or afraid. I was desperate. What should I do? Give up? Sell my car? Try to get a loan? Start a murder-for-hire business?
Quitting wasn't a part of my DNA. Being forced to submit was but it was also a last resort. I'd always thought of myself as being practical.
I hadno idea how long I sat there, looking at theetchednameswith a heavy soul. It couldn't have been that long if the sun was still out—low but it was there. Tired emotionally rather than physically, I got up and made my way back to the car to find Dex sitting in the bed with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. His eyes made a slow path over me as I got closer, checking and inspecting.
Dex stood up, throwing a long leg over the tail bed. With a graceful hop, he dropped to the ground, tucking his cigarette behind his ear.
Neither one of us said anything as I walked over to him and slipped my arms around his waist. Dex wrapped an arm over the top of my shoulders, his free hand finding its way into my hair. I took a hesitant sniff of his shirt, but all he did was smell faintly like soap and laundry detergent.
"You don't have to quit smoking because of me," I told him though obviously I'd rather he did, but I wouldn't ask him to.
He twisted my hair around his fingers. "'Kay."
"I'm serious."
He kept twisting knots at the end of my ponytail. "Went five years without a smoke, babe," he whispered into my ear, his lower lip brushing the shell. "There's shit I want and shit I need. A smoke's not one of 'em, 'specially not when I'm around you."
Was it wrong that his words made me swoon a little? And that I wasn't even going to bother arguing with him more about it?
Going up to the tips of my toes, I pressed my lips against the underside of his chin. "In that case, thank you." I pressed my face to his chest for a moment, savoring the hug.
