I shifted to set my cheek against his. “You know my mom knew she had growths before she went to the doctor? She waited because we were always broke. Because I was sick and she had to pay my medical bills."
It was a miracle I wasn't sobbing as I spilled these things I shoved deep in me. "And my pooryia-yiahad to sell her house so that we wouldn't go bankrupt when I got sick again. I had to come move in with Sonny because I was broke. And now you and the guys are suffering through all of this shit because of me."
Guilt, guilt, guilty, guilt, guilt.
"I'm so friggin' sorry, Dex.I never wanted any of this. I don't want any of you guys to get hurt. I don't even want to see my friggin' dad. Or get a fucking gun put up to my face. I don't—I don't—” It took every single inch ofdeterminationI had inside of my gut to keep from letting the broken words turn into afracturedcry. "Ineed to go back home to look for my dad."
The hand on top of my thighstiffened, squeezing the lean muscle so hard it hurt. In a flash, Dex had flipped us over so that I was on my back and he was on his hands and knees above me, looking pretty murderous. Those cobalt colored eyes flashed angrily. "No."
"I have to."
He shook his head, staring hard. "No." He blinked. "Fuck no."
"Dex," I whispered, my voice sounding so much more pathetic than I wanted it to. "It's my responsibility. This needs to be over."
"He's there, Ritz, you heard Lu, but you're not goin' back." he insisted.“‘Specially not without me.”
It was my turn to blink in disbelief. "You'll go with me?"
"Yeah." Dex dropped his face down to catch my bottom lip in his, and if it wouldn't have been for that touch, I wouldn't have felt the way his hands trembled on my cheeks. The way his entire body shook.
I nodded at him, pulled between the urge to burst into tears at feeling so overwhelmed and the need to throw myself at him to feel the warm reassurance only he was capable of. Could I do it by myself? Yes. But did I want to? No.
I was in love with this guy. Completely,terrifyinglyin love with him. And life suddenly seemed so short again. Would I want to live the rest of my life hiding behind my dad's shadow? Living out his mistakes? No. Absolutely not.
Dex must have seen something on my face that had him dropping his weight down on me. That warm naked body spread over my own nude one, his legs bracketed on either sides of mine, his arms caging me in.Ohmigod,Dexter Locke was naked on top of me. His nice, clean groin was resting on my stomach.
Brain dead. I was brain dead.
"You aren't leavin'alone," Dexdemanded.
Oh hell. "Iwon’t."
Holding his weight on one bent arm, he cupped the side of my face. "You took ten years off my life today, baby," Dex said.
Oh man.
"Thought I was gonna have to go to jail for the rest of my life, babe," he whispered.His hand cupped my calf, demanding and hot. "We're gonna find that piece of shit youand Son got cursed with and we're gonna get this taken care of. You and me. Understand?”
Did I understand? Oh yes. I nodded.
Those brilliant blue eyes locked on mine. He breathed, “I don’t know what the fuck I’d do if somethin’happened to you.” Dex squeezed my kneecaps. "Scared thelivin’shit outtame, and I’m gonna make sure your pa knows what that feels like."
A tremble engulfed every inch of my skin. It was slow but powerful, eating up my muscles and nerves like it was famished. The moment, his proclamation, all seemed like a dream. Like something that would have happened to the Iris Taylor I couldhave been in an alternate universe, if life had gone the way it was supposed to.
Did I care he was threatening my dad? In that moment, not really. I chose to ignore it because I wanted to be the one to hurt that selfish jerk.
Dex’s hands held me firmly. One hand slipped up to cup my cheek tenderly as he pressed his forehead to my temple. “I don’t ever wanna feel that way again.”
I think my heart cracked a little right then.
“I’m okay,” I whispered, placing my hand over the one he had high on my thigh. I wanted to tell him that I’d never been that scared either but I couldn’t. Not when Dex was opening up and telling me about his own fear. He wasn’t scared of anything. Not roaches, the dark, clowns, scary movies, the possibility of getting hurt. Nothing.
The fact that he’d been scared for me speared right through my gut.
He tipped his head to touch his lips to mine. “I’ll never let anything happen to you,” he murmured as his thumb brushed over my cheekbone. When I didn’t say anything in response, mainly because I was so wrapped up in his touch, he kissed the side of my mouth.
I, better than anyone, knew how unsteady life could be, but that was the beauty of it if you recognized the potential ahead of you. I had to appreciate the best things, the good man who intended to protect me, because it was real and present. Feminism be damned. I’d shouldered enough burdens alone, and let me tell you, it’s not easy.
