Because he had a point. Why would he be hiding so well? Why had he borrowed so much money to begin with? Plus, there was no reason for me to freak out over the incident at Pins. None.
Dex probably kissed people on a daily basis.
The thought should have been reassuring but all it did was make my stomach hurt—a lot.
I pushed the thought back and tried to focus on Sonny again. "You don't know who?" I asked.
He sighed. "I don't think I want to know. This shit has turned into such a goddamn headache. I'm worried Trip might killmebefore we find him."
I wanted to tell him to come back home. That I'd give him the money I had in my account to pay off a small chunk of the debt TheDisappointmentowed, but I couldn't. I couldn't because the first thing I thought of now every time our dad popped into my head, was what he'd done. The kid he'd had. The way he just plain sucked.
That small part of me that craved blood wanted him to own up to his mess for the first time in his life, so I kept my mouth shut. I only wished that there was something more I could do to find our sperm donor.
"I'm sorry," I told him because it was the only thing I could say that wouldn't bring him down any more.
"It's fine, kid. I'd do this and worse for you," he said in a slightly more upbeat voice. He was probably trying not to give me a guilt trip for being a useless bag of bones. "I met the kid."
Words, language, and the alphabet all melted off my tongue for a split second. "You—did?"
"Yeah. We went back two days ago," Sonny explained.
My little sister. Or little brother. God, I still couldn't fathom having someone else in my life that I could care about the way I felt for Will or Sonny. Not that it would be the same, because even though Sonny and I had grown up in different states, I'd always known him. Always known about him.
And this kid...
"Is it a girl?"
His snicker answered my question. "Nope. He's a little guy."
Another boy. Good gravy.
"Whoa," I breathed out. "Did it go okay?"
"Yeah, but he was confused. I'm old enough to be his dad, you know. His dad is old enough to be his grandpa." The longer Sonny talked, the more pissed off he sounded. "This is so fucked up, Ris. Terry—that's the kid's mom—said he hasn't been by in like two years. Two fucking years, Ris. Can you believe that shit?"
And two years would eventually turn into three. Three into four. Four into five, and before the little boy wouldknow it, it'dbe half his life.
Jesus, I was depressing. And negative.
"I think I'd be more surprised if he'd stuck around." A thought nagged at me. "Do you ever want to have kids?"
He let out a sharp laugh. "That's random."
"Well?"
He hummed."I guess I haven't thought about it. No?"he asked me, the baboon.
"No?"
"Maybe." Sonny paused. "I don't know. I'd be a shitty dad right now, I know that much."
What an idiot. "Son, you'd be as far from a shitty dad as possible."
Hemade a disapproving noise.
"Shut up. You'd be great, trust me." I had to laugh at a mental picture of him cleaning a diaper. "Ithink I want a little niece. How about you make it happen?"
"Fuck that," he laughed. "No, Ris. I'll get a dog, but a kid? No way."
