I slapped my phone into Louie’s hand as I scanned the houses on either side of Miss Pearl’s, but there was nothing there to see. No one was standing outside. No one knew what was happening, and later I’d worry about how and why Louie had been awake at 2:00 a.m. to see that our neighbor’s house was on fire.
“Goo, you know our address right?” I asked even as I stepped away from him, my heart beating so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.
“Yes,” he squeaked, his eyes wide and caught on the flames.
“Call 911 and tell them there’s a fire. I need to go help Miss Pearl, okay?” My voice was quick and panicked, and it was so obvious that Lou turned to look at me, his eyes widening even more.
“You’re going in there?” He was scared.
And I understood, I really did, but what was I supposed to do? Sit in my house and do nothing? “I have to. She’s old. She might still be in there,” I explained quickly, dropping to my knee even though I knew every second counted. “We have to help her, but I need you to call so I can run in there, okay? I’ll be as fast as I can, but don’t move from here, Louie.Don’t leave the house.”
I wanted to promise him I would be back, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that.
Even with the lights turned off, I could see his lip trembling, feel the tension and fear rolling off him in waves as his five-year-old brain wrapped around the same possibility mine did. I was going into a burning house, but there was no other choice.
I stood up and nudged at his hands. “Call right now—and don’t leave the house. I love you!”
Tears filled those blue eyes I was so in love with, and later on, I could appreciate how mature he was being by not begging me to stay even though I knew it was probably killing him inside. But I had to go.
I blew a kiss at Lou and ran out of the house, only barely managing to stick my feet into the flip-flops I’d kicked off at the door when I got home earlier.
And I ran.
I didn’t even bother closing the door behind me; I just sprinted across the street like I’d never sprinted in my life, trusting that Louie knew what he was doing. In hindsight, I should have woken up Josh who wasn’t five years old, but there hadn’t been any time and… what were the chances that Miss Pearl had gotten out on her own? Maybe she was standing somewhere I couldn’t see.
But as I quickly glanced around at the surrounding houses, I saw the harsh reality: I was the only one who knew something was going on despite the crazy amount of smoke already polluting the sky. Dread filled my stomach, as well as this sense ofI don’t what to do this, but I have to.
I had to. I knew I did. I couldn’t just pretend.
I shot a quick glance at Dallas’s house, but there wasn’t time to go bang on his door and try to wake him up. Fires were fast, weren’t they? And if it took him or Jackson a while to get up…
My legs pumped even faster as I hit the white picket fence around her front yard, slapping the gate wide open as I vaulted up the three steps leading to her porch in an act I couldn’t appreciate.
Like a complete moron, I grabbed the door handle, forgetting everything I’d learned in elementary school about what you were supposed to do during a fire.
The “motherfucking fucker” that came out of me as the metal burned my palm was lost in the night sky and smoke. Cradling my hand to my chest, I thought for a brief second about kicking the door open, but I didn’t. Who did I think I was? Leonidas in300?I had flip-flops on and there was no way I was strong enough to do that.
After that, everything was a blur.
For the rest of my life, I’d remember breaking Miss Pearl’s window with one of her garden gnomes and climbing inside, trying my best not to cut myself. I would never forget the smoke and how strong it was. How it filled everything, every inch of my skin, the surface of every single one of my teeth, the back of my throat, my very fucking heart and my poor lungs. There was no way I could forget how bad my eyes stung and how much I regretted running out in my underwear and a tank top that wasn’t long enough for me to at least cover my mouth.
And I would remember finding Miss Pearl crawling across the floor in the kitchen where I’d cut her hair in the past. I could never forget the terror on her face as I helped her up, shouting words I didn’t think either one of us knew what they were.
There was no way I would ever forget how hard I was coughing either. How I felt like I couldn’t breathe and how I didn’t understand how Miss Pearl was still doing it when I’d only been in the house for a second. I carried a lot of her weight on our way out because I knew I was rushing even though she couldn’t move very quickly. I’d seen her walk normally and running wasn’t an option. But everything stung and I wanted to get the hell out of there before the fire spread or before something else happened. I’d seenBackdraftas a kid. There weren’t any beams that could fall on us, but I wasn’t about to take any chances.
“My cat,” the woman somehow managed to tell me. “She’s inside.”
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t process what she was saying. I was too worried and scared about getting out of there with her, especially when she couldn’t walk fast. I forgot about my hand as I undid the lock and opened the front door, so relieved to be almost out of there.
We made it passed the lawn as we both hacked up our lungs. My back, neck, and cheeks burned and itched. But we kept going across the street where I could spot both boys standing at the doorway with Josh holding the phone to his face.
They ran out as I helped Miss Pearl onto the grass. I’d told Louie not to leave the house, but I wasn’t about to remind him he had ignored me.
“Are you okay?” Josh asked as he and Louie barreled into me, throwing their arms around me like spider monkeys, oblivious to the woman by their feet.
“The firefighters are coming,” Louie said quickly.
“Diana, my cat is in the house,” Miss Pearl’s voice pleaded, as something I could only assume was her hand landed on my thigh.
