Present day, La Maddalena
SophieandIwalkedslowly down Razzoli Street. It was autumn already, and as my feet pressed against the ground, the dry leaves cracked beneath me like brittle memories. I remembered that a year ago, just a few days from now, I saw him for the first time.
I was holding sunflowers on my way to visit my mother’s grave for her birthday.
Time passes so quickly, yet when you miss someone, every second feels endless. It cuts through you, soft at first, then deeper, until you start to bleed again. And somehow, I wanted that pain. It reminded me that I still remembered. That I still loved.
Because memories fade. They change, like everything else does. People change. You try to hold on to what was real, but even that slips. Faces stay the same, but you forget the sound of a laugh, the warmth of a touch, the way their scent felt against your skin. You start to wonder if you ever really knew it, or if your mind just rewrote it to keep you from breaking.
You can’t live it again. The past doesn’t open its doors for anyone.
And I lost that chance with him.
When you lose someone you love, it’s not just them you bury. It’s the parts of yourself that only existed because they saw them. I lost myself with him. Whoever I used to be is gone. Maybe that was always meant to happen. Maybe I was supposed to become someone new.
But who? Who am I without him?
I used to be his Ace of Hearts. Now I’m just another card in a forgotten deck, one no one plays with anymore. I sit there, collecting dust, waiting for someone to pick me up, maybe use me, maybe not. That’s what people do, isn’t it? They see something good in you, something they can use, until there’s nothing left. Just so they can feel like something.
Sophie hadn’t said a word since we left the house. She wanted me in that red dress, the one that used to make me look alive. Instead, I chose jeans and a white shirt. My black leather jacket hung loosely from my shoulders, and my old black Converse scraped the ground with every step. My hair was tied in a messy bun. The makeup on my face was just enough to make me look less like a ghost walking among the living.
“You know I’m worried about you,” she said finally. “Ever since you found out what happened…” She exhaled, then added quietly, “It’s been a year.”
A year. As if grief runs on a timer. As if hearts come with expiration dates.
I looked at her, rolled my eyes. “No need to worry, Sophie. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll be just fine,” I repeated, though my eyes had already moved down the road. Between the trees, I saw someone move. A face I knew as well as my own.
My heart started to beat faster.
“It’s him.” I turned to Sophie, breathless. “It’s him, Sophie.”
A smile broke across my face before I could stop it. Then I was running. The cold air burned my lungs as my shoes hit the ground faster and faster. Sophie’s voice followed me.
“Chiara, wait!”
But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
I ran toward the trees, branches scratching at my jacket, until the graveyard opened up in front of me. Rows of stone. Silence.
And then…nothing.
No one. Only wind. Only the echo of footsteps that weren’t there.
A tear slipped down my cheek as I looked toward the gate of the graveyard. The streetlight flickered, and my eyes blurred with tears. Soon, it was all coming back to me.
That night.
Suddenly, I was there again, lost in my own memory.
A year ago, I remember I had been lying in bed for two, maybe three days. I don’t quite remember, but I do remember feeling so tired, drifting in and out of sleep, with Rocco being the only one by my side. Every time I asked about Rio, he told me Rio was working a job in Rome, that he had something else to deal with. There was always something else. But this time, he finally decided it was time for the truth.
He told me Rio was trapped in a dream, and that we had lost him.
At first, I didn’t understand what that meant.We lost him in a dream.I couldn’t remember much, but I remembered that he came after me. I remembered the meadow and his last kiss. I thought maybe I was still lost in a dream with him, and I kept trying to dream about it again and again. But it was never the same. It was never real.
Then Rocco said it clearly. Rio had died, and we would never see him again. And that broke me.
