Prologue
DOLL
Imadeapromise.In ten years, if I needed someone to love, I’d choose him. But what if it was never meant to be him? What if my heart always belonged to someone else? What if losing him was always written in the stars?
Why do I feel guilty for falling in love again? Why am I chasing ghosts when my heart is finally ready to be whole?
Would you forgive me if I told you that in just a year, I moved on? That I learned to love myself? That I opened my heart, and someone else walked in?
Would you listen if I said that in a single day, he made it all feel like fate? Like the pain was just a nightmare, and now I’m finally awake… in a dream?
You probably wonder how it’s possible, how someone moves on so easily. But the truth is, your heart can love many… and still, your soul will only ever belong to one.
And mine? It connected with the darkest one.
All this time, I thought I was the moon searching for a sun. But I was the sun all along, and he was my moon. He brought the dark so I could shine brighter. He brought the night so I could dream again. He gave me stars, so I could make wishes for us.
And in the end, to the very end, it was always meant to be.
So, Mom… I know you’re still looking after a clown among the stars. But this one, this time, stays with me.
He may be a liar, but his lies stitched up all thetruths that broke me.
And maybe we’re nothing alike, but when the moon finds its sun, it bleeds gold just to reach her.
The wind tore through the trees, howling like it had something to say, whispering words I was too afraid to scream. My feet pounded the earth, bare and blistered, carrying me through twisted paths and broken memories I was leaving behind. Branches clawed at my skin like desperate hands trying to drag me back. And behind me, footsteps. Heavy. Too familiar.
I didn’t need to look. I knew it was him.
The way the ground sounded beneath those black boots was unmistakable. I used to love that sound. It meanthewas close. Now, it meant I had seconds left.
“Run, little doll!” he called out. “But you can’t hide from me.”
My lungs burned. My chest cracked open with each gasp. But I kept running.
Because it wasn’t just him I was running from. I was running from the House of Clowns. I was running away from every night he climbed into my bed with blood on his hands and love in his eyes. I was running from myself.
“Fuck off!” I shouted, my breath slicing through the air.
His sharp, unhinged laugh cracked behind me.
“Say it again,” he taunted, closer now. “Say it, and maybe I’ll fuck you. Off. On. Non-stop… your choice, doll...”
His voice dripped across my spine like melted wax. I didn’t stop. Not until the world ran out.
And within the blink of an eye, I was standing at the edge ofthe cliff. No more forest. No more ground. Just wind, waves, and the jagged promise of an ending below.
I stopped, shaking, rocks tumbling into the air below, a few rolling down to the sea.
But in just a second, his hand wrapped tightly around my wrist. He yanked me back before I could fall, spinning me into him. His breath bit my neck, gently touching my skin.
“You made me this way,” he snarled, his crazy eyes locked on mine behind smeared face paint.
He pressed the blade to my throat. Not hard. Just enough.
“Tell me, Doll…” His voice softened. “Would you die for me?”
I didn’t move. Didn’t breathe.
